#2552 – Event Coming Soon
Details
Details will be published in the week before the run.
When & Where
May 5, 2024 (2:30 pm) – May 5, 2024 (6:00 pm)
Details will be published in the week before the run.
May 5, 2024 (2:30 pm) – May 5, 2024 (6:00 pm)
As any of the craftsmen at Yingge would tell you, the beauty of a ceramic piece is only evident once it has been through the kiln. Only such intense heat can bring out the true colors and shine of a glaze, harden the clay to its final form, and reveal explosively any flaws or errors in the potter’s handiwork. 在鶯歌的任何一位工匠都會告訴你,陶瓷作品的美,只有經過窯洞才能顯現出來。 只有如此強烈的熱量,才能帶出釉面的真實顏色和光澤,使粘土硬化到最終形式,並爆炸性地揭示,這位陶工的手工活,是否有任何的缺陷或錯誤。 Such is the trial by fire through which Shall I Pay sought to put his co-hare, Show Holly, as he tested her abilities to dodge hounds, drop flour, and not get distracted by the extraordinary scenery. Will she burn for him, or crack under the heat? Will she ever graduate to haring a run herself someday? And who is he to judge? Yet, for those of us trying to catch these hares, all their hard work will pay off, as their finished trail should be a stunning work of art. 這就是 Shall I Pay 試圖讓他的副兔 Show Holly(台語發音:燒給你),通過的考驗:躲避獵犬的追捕、撒錢…噢不,是撒麵粉,並且不能被非凡的風景分心。 燒金如土的 Show Holly 會為兔子燃燒金童玉女嗎?副兔會火然泉達,還是在熊熊的考驗中,烙跑去喝冰啤酒?她有晉升正兔、獻出處女之路的一天嗎?Shall I Pay 會是她的伯樂嗎? 然而,對於那些試圖抓住兔子們的人來說,兔子們所有的辛勤工作都會得到回報,因爲他們完成的足跡,就是一件令人驚歎的藝術作品。 Something something the GM has a small cock. 說起來,我們 GM 小雞雞的小巧精細,也是一件令人驚嘆的藝術作品。 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Shall I Pay Cohare 副兔: Show Holly ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* L: 9km + 220m elevation S: 6.5km + 100m elevation *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, April 28, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Eryi Park 兒一公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/qzFxYuopTTYyfNhaA ******HOW? / 怎去******* Train to Yingge Station, then uBike or local bus *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 世宏海鮮熱炒 0970677918 https://maps.app.goo.gl/mhA4N1syJk3DtbSX6
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2551 Inquiry
April 28, 2024 (2:30 pm) – April 28, 2024 (6:00 pm)
https://maps.app.goo.gl/qzFxYuopTTYyfNhaA
On a regular Tuesday morning, Pussy Magnet wakes up, climbs over the pile of sleeping women on his bed, gets dressed, and opens his apartment window. He holds his head out, exuding a heady musk of charm and heterosexuality, and waits straightly while his scent attracts a swarm of ladies to his building like fruit flies. But, like, not that kind of “fruit.” They form a human pyramid to reach him, and he crowd surfs down to the street level in a totally not gay manner. He sniffs the air, and his trained breeder nose can pick out, from the cloud of perfume and fishy odors that permanently surround him, the particularly strong discharge of Jam Rag coming to see him. 如往常的星期二,Pussy Magnet 一早醒來,先爬過床上的女人堆,穿上衣服,打開公寓的窗戶,伸頭出去的同時散發著迷人的魅力及男性賀爾蒙的麝香,直直等待。 他的氣味吸引了成群的女人,像果蠅般聚集在他的公寓外,似乎想「分桃而食」。女人們為了更接近站在窗邊的他,甚至疊成一個人體金字塔,他趁著人潮,以完全不是同性戀的方式「人體衝浪」一路划到街上。 嗅着空氣,他訓練有素的鼻子總能從滿滿包圍他的人群裏,尋覓出異性的芳香,其中最腥羶的 Jam Rag 出現了。 “Happy 10 year Hashiverssary!” she cheers. “Are you ready to finally, FINALLY lose your hare virginity after a decade as a mere hound?” Pussy Magnet smiles his cunnilingus-performing smile. “I’m so nervous! What do I need to do? Should we ask the TwH3 committee for help?” Jam Rag scoffs. “Please. I’m a strong, confident woman who don’t need no help from the TMs or the GMs. Have you decided where to run?” “Yes,” straights Pussy Magnet not queerly, “the hometown of [CELEBRITY NAME REDACTED].” “We can’t say that. 2nd Man In wants the hash to be non-political. Let’s just say the trail is near a famous person’s house,” says Jam Rag. Pussy Magnet smiles again, says goodbye to his co-hare, then returns to his apartment to suck his husband’s cock. 「捷兔十周年快樂!」她歡呼道:「你終於終於準備好告別單純的獵狗歲月,來場兔子處女秀了嗎?」 Pussy Magnet 用他善於前戲的嘴巴,並微笑地說: 「我好緊張!我應該怎麼幹?我們應該向台灣健龍幹部們求援嗎?」 Jam Rag 嗤之以鼻:「像我這麼堅強有自信的女人,並不需要路線組或會長的幫助。你決定跑哪裏了嗎 ? 」 「是的,名人OOO的故鄉。」Pussy Magnet 直截當地回應,毫無酷兒的調調。 「但 Second Man In 說捷兔團體不能牽涉政治立場。我們對外只能說跑步會經過名人OOO的屁O。」Pussy Magnet 再次微笑,告別他的副兔,然後回到他的公寓,和老公一起吹喇叭二重奏。 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Pussy Magnet Cohare 副兔: Jam Rag ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線:A to A 9km + 400m elevation gain *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, April 21, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Wanliguanguang Park 萬里觀光公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/PdTrFH9qKnCAoLQB7 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Bus 1815 from City Hall bus station Get off at Wanli Bridge 萬里橋頭 https://maps.app.goo.gl/iiWf4kHLNLSZhYkV8 (From Tamsui, take 862 from Tamsui MRT) *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Hui Wanli Xie Seafood Restaurant 輝萬里蟹海鮮餐廳 0224922277 https://maps.app.goo.gl/yJK1b81bp3YKTYBq9
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2550 Inquiry
April 21, 2024 (2:30 pm) – April 21, 2024 (6:00 pm)
Wanliguanguang Park 萬里觀光公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/PdTrFH9qKnCAoLQB7
MEANWHILE, at the secret TwH3 headquarters / sex dungeon / beer brewery, the trailmasters are reviewing several run proposals prepared by Get By with a little help from his friend, Just 卓育群. He starts by unrolling a map. “What do you think,” asked Get By, “does it worry you that it’s too long?” “That’s the entire Formosa Trail,” said Tiny Balls, “can you pick something shorter?” “Fine,” said Just 卓育群, “how about this one? It’s only 42km.” “That’s a marathon,” said Second Man In, “and where is this? I don’t recognize the place names.” “It’s *the* marathon, in Greece,” said Get By cheerfully, “We’ve done bus runs, so how about a bus, train, plane, another bus, and donkey cart run?” “Yeah, no,” said Lick a Slower Spick. 場景來到台灣健龍的秘密總部(性地牢和啤酒釀酒廠),路線組正在審查 Get By 修改無數次的眾多提案。 這一次 Get By 胸有成竹,因為他的朋友也搭了把愛心小手手。他展開地圖,詢問卓育群:「你覺得如何?104公里會不會太長?」 Tiny Balls 大驚:「跑 Formosa Trail 全段?路線可以短一點嗎?」 「好吧,那這一條路線如何?只有42公里。」卓育群勉為其難的說。 「這距離等於馬拉松了!而且這是哪裡?」Second Man In 指著地圖十分困惑的發問。 「馬拉松的話,當然要在希臘!」Get By 的雙眼和頭頂同時亮了起來,興奮地說:「巴士特跑不稀奇了,要不咱們來一次巴士+火車+飛機+公車+騎驢子?」 Lick a Slowerer Spick 突然冒出來抗議:「才不要!」 “Fine, how about this one? It’s only a dozen kilometers and almost 700m climb.” The trailmasters groaned in unison. “Sorry, no Maple Semen-style Elevation of Death run for my month as GM,” said XiaoJiJi. “And this one?,” asked Just 卓育群. “That’s the same trail but backwards,” said Cum This Way. “How about this one,” asked Get By, “you’ve got to admit it’s getting better.” “That’s all road,” said XiaoJiJi, “we are dragons, not horses. Less 馬路, more farms and water.” “Ugh, fine, we have one more suggestion,” said Just 卓育群, checking his app for one final GPX file. The trailmasters looked over the map, then huddled together. “It’s not too long or too short.” “It’s not too high or too low.” “It ends by a delicious bash place.” “It’s beautiful!” “You’re beautiful!” “I told you, not in public.” “Then it’s agreed!” The trailmasters turned to the hares. “We accept your proposal!” “Hooray,” said Get By, “I knew it would be love at first sight. Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.” Get By 妥協道:「好吧,這樣如何?這一條路線只有十幾公里,而且爬升不到700米。」 路線組操著不同國家的語言,此時卻齊聲呻吟。小雞雞哀嚎:「四月換我當班 GM,我不想再吃一次 Maple Semen 百匯的階梯吃到飽。」 卓育群問:「這一條路線可以吧?」 Cum This Way 立馬反駁:「你只是同一條路逆著跑!」 Get By 再次提案:「那就這樣那樣…」 「噢不,這是柏油全餐。」小雞雞補充道:「來點農田和水圳,我們不是台灣健馬,不要一直跑馬路啦!」 「這是我們最後的提案了。」卓育群打開他的手機,路線組擠成一團看著小小螢幕上的GPX路線,紛紛回應:「不過長、也不算短」「沒有爬高高,也不是city run」「這家餐廳好吃耶」「正值油桐花開的季節,好美!」 路線組同時看向兔子們:「幹得好,提案通過!」 Get By 如釋重負,然後哼起披頭四幫他寫的歌: Oh, baby I get by (By with a little help from my friends) I said, I’m gonna get high (High with a little help from my friends) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m gonna try (Try with a little help from my friends) Keep on gettin’ high ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Get By Cohare 副兔: Just 卓育群 ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線:A to A L – 7.6K 400M S – 5.4K 255M *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, April 14, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Random spot near Haishan Station! 海山站附近 https://maps.app.goo.gl/LPdeQCu5WSkyK5Qg6 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Haishan station, then walk *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 大掌櫃啤酒屋土城店 0222602650 https://maps.app.goo.gl/hUP22ugUsAGxSXjJ9
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2549 Inquiry
April 14, 2024 (2:30 pm) – April 14, 2024 (6:00 pm)
Random spot near Haishan Station! 海山站附近 https://maps.app.goo.gl/LPdeQCu5WSkyK5Qg6
**We’re back to 14:30 start times!!!** 從四月開始,兔子起跑時間爲14:30 Tiny Balls and Tiny Bush (no relation) were up on Yangmingshan looking for the not-so-secret secret hot spring the Hashers defiled two months earlier, but were hopelessly lost. Suddenly, the steam cleared, and they heard horrible singing and terrible bagpipes in the breeze. Appearing before them amidst the calla lilies was a massive pool, not present on any map, filled with wrinkly, naked hashers. Tiny Bush averted her eyes, and Tiny Balls pretended not to be aroused, needlessly hiding his miniscule erection. 迷你家族的 Tiny Balls 和 Tiny Bush,在陽明山尋找不算秘密、兩個月前被捷兔們玷污過的秘密溫泉,但無可救藥地迷路了。 突然,迷霧散去,他們聽到微風中有糟糕的歌聲和刺耳的風笛聲,一個沒有標示在任何地圖上、四周遍佈著海芋的巨大水池出現在他們面前,池內充滿了赤身裸裸的老捷兔們。Tiny Bush 撇開視線,而 Tiny Balls 假裝沒有血脈噴張,但實在也不需要隱藏他的超迷小勃起。 “Hello, travelers,” said one man, apparently their leader. “I am Nuke. Welcome to the village of Hashadoon, which only appears once every 10 years! Would you care to join us for a soak and some haggis?” Tiny Balls politely declined, but Tiny Bush recognized the bathers. “You are all former GMs! I heard of your runs. They are legendary! Would you do us the honor of haring a run for us?” Nuke smiled broadly! “Of course. The magic of Hashadoon allows me to hare for China Hash once before we return to the mists of time. I will summon Brown Owl to co-hare for me. She’s our magical village ambassador, currently in Hobbiton in New Zealand.” “Great,” said Tiny Balls, “but we’re called Taiwan Hash now.” “Really?” said Nuke, “…is Ma Ying-Jeoh still president?” The Tiny’s were silent. “Oh! It’s been a long 10 years!” 「哈囉,旅行者們!」一位顯然是他們之中的領導說道:「我是Nuke,歡迎來到捷兔蹲俱樂部。這裏每10年才會出現一次!不介意的話可以加入我們,泡個澡,噢~要來些羊肚雜碎布丁嗎?」 Tiny Balls 禮貌地拒絕了,但 Tiny Bush 認出了這些洗澡的人:「你們都是曾經擔任過 GM的前輩!我聽說過那些傳奇之路,有榮幸邀請你擔任我們的兔子嗎?」 「當然可以!」Nuke 開朗的大笑:「十年前,捷兔蹲俱樂部允許我做過一次 China Hash 的兔子,只要在迷霧重新隱藏這裏之前。我會召喚 Brown Owl 一起出馬,擔任我的副兔。她是我們神奇的俱樂部大使,目前在紐西蘭的哈比村。」 「太好了!但我們現在叫 Taiwan Hash喔。」Tiny Balls 說。 「真的嗎?總統還是馬英九嗎?」Nuke問道。 「……」小傢伙們沈默了一會兒才回:「噢!那是十年之前的事。」 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Nuke Cohare 副兔: Brown Owl ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線:A to A L: 9km + 350m elevation S: 7km *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, April 7, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Xiao You Keng Qiao Parking 小油坑橋停車場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/udoRJvvwZQWNwjiB9 ******HOW? / 怎去******* 1) Take bus 1717 from Taipei 2) Take bus 108 from Yang Ming Shan station *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 湖田大樹下 0228618789 https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZUaD5UcNbKzcChF29
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2548 Inquiry
April 7, 2024 (2:30 pm) – April 7, 2024 (6:00 pm)
湖田大樹下 0228618789 https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZUaD5UcNbKzcChF29
Shall I Pay was in his garage in Taoyuan, wiping down his new car for the fifth time that week. Suddenly he heard what sounded like an ambulance, but he knew better. “Oh no,” he groaned. Who should appear but OEOE, shouting out siren noises and with a rotating, red, emergency light on his head. “OEOEOEOE… please state the nature of the medical emergency.” “Go away,” said Shall I Pay, “can’t you see I’m busy? Do you know what happens if you don’t immediately wash hasher vomit off of a new car?” OEOE examined the vehicle. “You missed a spot,” he said, pointing at some white globs on the catalytic converter. “That’s not… Damn it, Toasted Taint!” cursed Shall I Pay, grabbing his scraper. Shall I Pay 正在他桃園的車庫裏,這週第五次擦拭他的新車,遠方突然傳來什麼像救護車…但他知道聽起來更好的聲音。「喔不!」他哀嚎道,除了OEOE,誰會在這種時候出現呢? OEOE 頭戴著一個旋轉著紅光的警示燈,以鳴笛聲登場:「OEOEOEOE… 請說明目前的緊急醫療情形?」 Shall I Pay 說:「走開,你沒看到我在忙嗎?你知道不馬上清理新車內的嘔吐物,會發生什麼事嗎?」 OEOE 探頭檢查車子,並用手指著觸媒轉換器上的白色濃稠物:「你漏掉一個地方了。」 「那不是…該死的Toasted Taint!」Shall I Pay 邊咒罵邊用刮刀清除。 “I’m actually here on a mission,” said OEOE, remembering he was there on a mission. “Would you hare next week’s run with me?” “Does it come with a free bash?” asked Shall I Pay. “No, we’ve been over this,” said OEOE, “but hares get something money can’t buy: exposure! By which I mean, you will be asked to expose yourself and at least take your shirt off at some point during down-downs.” “Okay,” said Shall I Pay, “but on one condition: we must not tell the scribe any useful details about the run location until super late, to make writing the story promoting this run more difficult.” What? Hey!! Fine, just for that, I’m turning this into a Japanese hentai. “Oh, Shall I Pay-kun! Shinaide kudasai, I’m so sensitive there! OEOEOE…” 突然想起為何而來的OEOE表示:「其實我來,是為了下週的跑步亂。你願意和我一起擔任兔子嗎?」 Shall I Pay 問:「有免費的狂歡bash嗎?」 OEOE回答:「沒有,這話題我們已經討論過了。但是兔子可以得到有錢也買不到的亮相機會,你可以在噹噹的時候脱光,我是指曝光!好吧,至少可以脫掉你的上衣。」 Shall I Pay 一口就答應:「好耶!」 OEOE 補充說:「但有一個條件,我們不能告訴幹部們關於路線的細節和地點,很晚很晚再給,讓小編難以編撰。」 Shall I Pay:「什麼?嘿!好!我要把它變成日本愛情動作片。」 「噢!Shall I Pay君!雅咩爹~我那邊很敏感,OEOEOE…」 [Translator note:しないでください] [小編:別擔心,什麼都不知道我們也能瞎掰。] ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: OEOE Cohare 副兔: Shall I Pay ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線:A to A 7km 250m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, March 31, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Kangning Park 康寧公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/WhZ8VxBHvj513mMGA ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT/Bus *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 2018搞食堂 0226315679 https://maps.app.goo.gl/iRVVWGX2AWAF85fHA
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2547 Inquiry
March 31, 2024 (2:00 pm) – March 31, 2024 (6:00 pm)
Kangning Park 康寧公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/WhZ8VxBHvj513mMGA
What does it take to make Cums Once a Year show up to a hash run? A certain star alignment? An offer for unrestricted use of any of the GM’s orifices for 30 minutes? The run starting and ending by his house in Xindian? Whatever arcane ritual or Faustian bargain it took, 2nd Man In did it, and even convinced him to hare! That happens even less than once a year! What powerful, Mexican magic our trailmaster wields! 是什麼風把 Cums Once a Year 吹來跑步亂的,如恆星週期般的運行?不受限制地使用、任君挑選 GMs 的洞洞30分鐘?還是起跑點就在他新店區公所的家門外? 無論答案是什麼浮士德的交易、神秘的召喚術或是阿嬤的討價還價,反正路線組組長 2nd Man In 做到了,彷彿墨西哥魔術師的揮舞,打破 Cums Once a Year 一年只來一次的慣例,甚至還一口答應擔任兔子。 But at what cost? Foul omens have been seen. Jupiter is in retrograde. The hare cut his hand on some shiggy. XiaoJiJi is lactating blood. Then the original co-hare, Fucking Short Guy, mysteriously dropped out. When was the last time he came? At his age is he even capable of coming? And just how short is he? Do we really need more short people in the hash? It’s bad enough to have Tiny Balls scurrying underfoot all the time like a horny chihuahua. 但代價是什麼?糟糕的鳥事開始出現,木星正在逆行。兔子在探路時割傷了手,XiaoJiJi 哺乳期出血,然後副兔 Fucking Short Guy 莫名的退出。他上次出現是什麼時候?他這樣的年紀,還能來嗎?他到底有多矮?我們真的需要更多的哈比人嗎? 我們已經有 Tiny Balls 如亢奮的吉娃娃在腳邊亂竄,已經夠鬧心了。 Luckily, the GMs have some demonic deals of their own to cash in, and summoned the next shortest guy in the hash, Shitty Shrinkage. He owes the hash a favor, and must make good on his debt. Don’t worry, he’s just as short and Canadian as his predecessor, and he’s an experienced hare; just avoid bright light, don’t get him wet, and don’t feed him after midnight. What could possibly go wrong? 幸運的是,GMs 總是有一些惡魔的交易可以兌現,並召喚了不矮於 Fucking Short Guy 的人,Shitty Shrinking 這週日將獻身擔任副兔,肉債肉還。 別擔心,他和登出的前副兔一樣都是加拿大的小精靈,而且是個經驗豐富的兔子。只要避開明亮的光線、不要讓他淋溼,午夜後不要喂食,能有什麼亂子? ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Cums Once a Year Cohare 副兔: Shitty Shrinkage ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線:A to A L 9km 430m / S 4.5km *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, March 24, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Magong Friendship Sports Park 馬公友誼運動公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/nN27ex6d3kwz4yP17 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT / Bash – walk *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Xin Yuan Xin Restaurant 0286650688 https://maps.app.goo.gl/FgQWzqk7m4A5TYSd9
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2546 Inquiry
March 24, 2024 (2:00 pm) – March 24, 2024 (6:00 pm)
Magong Friendship Sports Park 馬公友誼運動公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/nN27ex6d3kwz4yP17
“Why are we doing this, again,” wheezed Tiny Balls? “Because I promised the Committee that I would find a real leprechaun to hare the St. Patrick’s Day run, and we are sure to find one at the end of the rainbow,” said XiaoJiJi. “Gay…” said Tiny Balls, but as they followed the rainbow into the heart of Ximending, they found Big John in a green dress sitting by a pot of 50NTD coins. “Well, shove a potato up me arse and call me an air fryer,” said Big John, “It’s another Irishman! Haigh laddies, what’s the craic?”* “What the hell is he saying?” asked Tiny Balls. “He thinks you are a leprechaun,” said XiaoJiji. “What? Why?” asked Tiny Balls. “Because you are short. And ginger. And drunk,” explained XiaoJiJi, who then turned to Big John: “Greetings, creature! We are the great GMs of Taiwan Hash, and we have traveled to the end of the rainbow to demand you hare our St. Patrick’s Day run!” “Stall the ball there, gobshite,” replied Big John in his indecipherable slang, “ye have serious notions, innit? But I’m cream crackered and my runners are banjaxed.”** “Sorry, I don’t speak Cantonese,” said Tiny Balls. 「又來了,爲什麼我們要再做一次?」喘呼呼的小蛋蛋問。 「因爲我答應台灣健龍委員會,我會找到一個真正的愛爾蘭妖精來當聖派翠克節(愛爾蘭的 St. Patrick’s Day)的兔子,而且我們肯定會在彩虹的盡頭找到一個。」小雞雞回答道。 「有夠gay的…」小蛋蛋抱怨地說,當他們沿着彩虹進入西門町的核心時,他們發現穿着綠色洋裝的 Big John 坐在一個裏面裝滿50元硬幣的罐子旁邊。 「來吧,把一顆馬鈴薯塞進我屁股裡,叫我氣炸鍋。」Big John 說著:「唷!這是另一個愛爾蘭人~小傢伙們,有什麼好玩的嗎?」 「瘋了嗎?他到底在說什麼?」小蛋蛋問。 「他以爲你也是個愛爾蘭妖精。」小雞雞說。 「啥?爲什麼?」小蛋蛋問。 「誰叫你這麼矮,又有紅頭髮,還喝很ㄎ一尢。」 小雞雞解釋完,然後轉向 Big John:「你好,神秘的生物!我們是 Taiwan Hash 的王牌搭檔 GMs,我們走到彩虹的盡頭,想邀請你擔任我們的聖派翠克節的兔子!」 「把蛋蛋擺在那裏,蠢貨!」Big John 用他難以辨認的謾罵回應。 「你有很有意思的想法,不是嗎?我累壞了,而且我的跑者們都醉得一塌糊塗。」「真抱歉,我不會講廣東話。」小蛋蛋說。 “I’ll be your GM,” said Big John, switching to Protestant English, “if you can answer me these riddles three. One: What’s the first thing up at the top of the mornin’?” The GM’s pondered the riddle. “A rooster,” said Tiny Balls. “No, a cock,” said Big John. “That’s what I said,” complained Tiny Balls! “Riddle Two: what’s white, sticky, and is better to spit than swallow,” asked Big John? “Toothpaste,” said XiaoJiJi, innocently. “No, my cock,” said Big John. “Why would your cock be sticky,” asked Tiny Balls? “Last riddle,” said Big John, “what is hard, sometimes drips, and feels good when you blow it?” XiaoJiJi was about to say “a nose” before Tiny Balls slapped him. “Your cock,” said the diminutive GM. “Aye, grand! You win! Okay, I’ll hare your run,” said Big John. “Hooray, I knew I could get a real leprechaun to be our hare” celebrated XiaoJiJi. “What the bejaysus? I’m not a leprechaun, ye half eejit ye,” exclaimed Big John, “the leprechaun is over there.” The GM’s looked at where he was pointing and saw a Taiwanese gentleman in a green dress. “Hello,” said Ding Bu Dong, “I am a leprechaun. I’ll be your co-hare.” “Hooray,” said XiaoJi, and they all riverdanced a jig all the way home. 「我將成爲你的新任GM!」切換成新教英語的 Big John 說:「如果你能解出我的三道謎題,第一題,什麼東西會最先在一早翹起來?」 王牌搭檔 GMs 琢磨著謎題… 「公雞?」小蛋蛋答道。 「錯!是雞雞。」Big John 駁應。 「我們說的是同一件事吧!」小蛋蛋抱怨著。 「第二題:什麼東西是白色、黏糊糊的,吐出來比吞嚥好。」Big John 問。 「 牙膏。」天真的小雞雞回答。 「錯,是我的雞雞。」Big John 再次駁應。 「為什麼你的雞雞是黏糊糊的?」小蛋蛋質問。 「最後一題:什麼是硬邦邦,有時候會滴水,吹起來很舒服?」Big John 問。 小雞雞正準備說:「鼻子。」就被小蛋蛋扇了一巴掌,並搶答:「你的雞雞。」 「耶!讚喔!你答對了,好吧~我會當你的兔子。」Big John 說。 「萬歲!我就知道我可以得到一個真正的妖精做我們的兔子。」小雞雞歡呼道。 「什麼!我不是妖精,你們傻了嗎?」Big John 驚呼道:「妖精在那邊。」 GM們望向 Big Joh 指的方向,看到一個穿著綠洋裝的臺灣紳士。 「你好!我是愛爾蘭妖精,我將擔任你們的副兔。」Ding bu dong說。 「 萬歲!」小雞雞再次歡呼,然後他們跳著愛爾蘭踢踏舞一路回家。 * “Hello, gentlemen. How are you?” ** “Slow down, fool. You are overly prideful, but I am tired and my shoes are damaged.” 「哈囉,紳士們,你們好嗎?」 「慢點呀,傻瓜!你太驕傲了。我累了,而且我的鞋子壞了。」 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Big John Cohare 副兔: Ding Bu Dong ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:B run / 路線:A to B Less than 8 km + Elevation: 78 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, March 17, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* A Point: Taipei City Hakka Cultural Park 臺北市客家文化主題公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/rgT2Xi8bELNtUTgU7 B Point: https://maps.app.goo.gl/TeSU6sSwiTQKushG9 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Public transportation to the run start MRT SECTION (Runners will run underground from Beimen to Taipei Main Station and take train to Sun Yat Sen) Green Dresses Run – This run takes us through all of the busiest places of Taipei City so please dress as ridiculously as possible to maximize potential mortification. *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* REV-NOW 0983167597 https://maps.app.goo.gl/T5F1L1o24CE4Lchy9
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2545 Inquiry
March 17, 2024 (2:00 pm) – March 17, 2024 (6:00 pm)
A Point: Taipei City Hakka Cultural Park 臺北市客家文化主題公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/rgT2Xi8bELNtUTgU7 B Point: https://maps.app.goo.gl/TeSU6sSwiTQKushG9
Green Dress Run
On the side of the road somewhere between Taipei Main and Shimen Reservoir, FIAT was once again bent over the open hood of her Ducato Minivan, struggling with the engine and ignoring the catcalls from passing truck drivers. “Merda di merda! This stupid-a machine. Toasted Taint, get-a your dick out of the exhaust pipe and come make-a yourself useful.” Toasted Taint appeared, pulling up his shorts and holding some unlabeled bottles. “Honey, why did you pack your cooking stuff with my sunbathing stuff? I can’t tell if this is tanning oil or olive oil.” “Later, hold this-a wrench for me,” FIAT replied. 在臺北通往石門水庫的某一處路邊,FIAT 再次打開她的小型露營車的車蓋,彎腰應付故障的引擎,無視經過的卡車司機們的口哨聲。「真是糟透了!這台爛車,Toasted Taint,把你的老二從排氣管抽出來,當個男人過來幫忙!」 Toasted Taint 邊穿上他的短褲邊走來,手裏拿著幾瓶沒有標籤的瓶子。「 親愛的,你爲什麼把我的日光浴用品跟廚具打包在一起?這樣我會分不清楚這是助曬油還是橄欖油。」 FIAT回應道:「等一下再說,先幫我拿扳手。」 “So, about this run of ours…” asked FIAT. “Cosa nostra?” Toasted Taint asked, practicing his Italian. “CORSA nostra,” corrected FIAT, looking around nervously, “and must it be a bus run?” “Absolutely,” said Toasted Taint, “and it’s totally worth it. My standards for my runs are high. Gorgeous scenery along the ridge of the reservoir, amazing views, and long, runnable trails. Who knows, maybe this will be the run we actually get caught?” Both looked at each other briefly, then burst into race-ist laughter. “Can you convince the GMs to arrange a bus,” asked Taint? “Don’t worry, I’ll make them an offer they can’t refuse,” FIAT said, winking seductively. “Can you get Praying for Man Tits to write the event post early to get-a more people excited for this-a run,” she asked? “Don’t worry, I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse,” Toasted Taint said, winking seductively. 「所以,關於我們這次的亂…」FIAT提起。 「Cosa nostra?」Toasted Taint 練習他的意大利語。 「是CORSA nostra!你說成黑手黨了。」 FIAT糾正他,然後緊張地環顧四周,問:「一定要巴士特跑嗎 ? 」 Toasted Taint 說:「當然!這完全是值得的。我對做路的標準很高。沿着水庫邊的山脊有壯麗的景色,令人驚歎的視野,綿延的小徑,而且可跑性高。」 「誰知道呢,也許這次真的會有人追到我們。」 兩人互看對方,然後爆發出速度跑者的譏笑聲。 Taint 問:「你能說服GM們安排一輛巴士嗎?」 「別擔心,我會給他們一個無法拒絕的提議。」FIAT 回答,誘人的眨眨眼。 「你能讓 Praying for Man Tits 早點寫活動文案嗎?讓大家先期待期待安排一下時間。」她問道。 「 別擔心,我會給他一個他不能拒絕的提議。」Toasted Taint 說,誘人的眨眨眼。 “Speaking of teabagging, I have to take care of a sunburn in a sensitive area. I think this bottle is aloe vera…” he said, and left behind the van. FIAT had by then fixed the engine and started to prepare her pre-run snack of five kilos of pasta. “Hey, wait a minute. This isn’t my chili oil, it’s…” Her thoughts were interrupted by a toe-curling scream, followed by a distressed and undressed Toasted Taint rushing over with some serious inflammation and the bottle of what apparently wasn’t aloe vera. FIAT surveyed the damage and laughed: “Mamma mia, that’s a SPICY meatball!” 「說到吊茶包,我必須護理一處敏感地方的曬傷。 我想這瓶是蘆薈…」他說著,然後走到露營車的後面。FIAT 這時已經修復了引擎,並開始準備她跑步前的小點心 ,五公斤的意大利麵。 「欸!等一下,這不是我的辣椒油,這瓶是 …」 還沒講完就被個淒厲尖叫聲打斷了思緒,接著沒有穿衣服的 Toasted Taint 表情痛苦、帶些嚴重的發炎和顯然不是蘆薈的瓶子衝過來。FIAT 查看了損傷情況,大笑:「媽媽咪呀,那是顆辣肉丸!」 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Toasted Taint Cohare 副兔: FIAT ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* BUS RUN!! A:B run / 路線:A to B L: 7.5km + 450m Elevation S: 6km + 350m Elevation *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, March 10, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* A Point: 崑崙仙山太極殿 https://maps.app.goo.gl/CQrGdSXVCrb6xor3A Drivers: The distance between A and B is nearly 6km and the road is not suitable for walking. You will need to Uber/taxi pool back to the A point. 駕駛:A、B兩地距離近6公里,路段不適合步行。 您需要搭乘 Uber/計程車返回 A 點 ******HOW? / 怎去******* This is a bus run! Please confirm your presence by answering “BUS ‘YOUR HASH NAME’ ” in the comments below. Or click on “Book Now” button and send email to confirm your seat. 這次是巴士亂!!! 請在活動底下留言”巴士「你的兔名」” DO NOT BE LATE! You will owe 1 case of beer for every minute you are late after 12:00PM 不要遲到!中午 12:00 後每遲到一分鐘,您將欠 1 箱啤酒 SCHEDULE 11:45AM – Meet at Taipei Main Station East 3 / 上車點:臺北車站東三門集合 12:00PM – Start off / 發車往A 13:30PM – Arrival at A https://maps.app.goo.gl/XLQfWeHhdMdxHzvp6 14:00PM – Hares Off ————— 17:30PM – Leave for Bash 18:00PM – Bash 20:30PM- Depart bash and back in Taipei by 21:30PM *******PRICE******* $950 includes run, bus, and bash *******BASH / 晚餐******* 炒翻天 033908000 https://maps.app.goo.gl/eCQZ1fW4zcvtkvty7
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2544 Inquiry
March 10, 2024 (2:00 pm) – March 10, 2024 (6:00 pm)
A Point: 崑崙仙山太極殿 https://maps.app.goo.gl/CQrGdSXVCrb6xor3A Drivers: The distance between A and B is nearly 6km and the road is not suitable for walking. You will need to Uber/taxi pool back to the A point. 駕駛:A、B兩地距離近6公里,路段不適合步行。 您需要搭乘 Uber/計程車返回 A 點
“Enter,” said a voice behind the door. Maple Semen and Just LuLuMe pushed the heavy wooden door and entered the tribunal chamber / sex dungeon of the TwH3 Committee, formerly Redpoint Taproom. “You wanted to see us?” asked Maple Semen, wiping his sap-covered hands on his denim suit. “Yes,” said 2nd Man In, “we are having problems with your proposals for the Double Three Run. Like this one, on Shiding Street? There’s too many stairs.” “Stairs, stairs…” said LuLuMe, creepily. “What’s wrong with stairs?” asked Maple Semen. “Everything is wrong with stairs!” said Supercalifragilisticexpialidome. “We can’t have hashers go all the way to Shiding and face a kilometer of stairs. What will the retards at Hsinchu hash say?” 「進來吧!」聲音從門後響起。 Maple Semen 和Just LuLuMe 推開沉重的木門,進入了台灣健龍委員會的特別法庭/性地牢,前身爲Redpoint Taproom。 「你想見我們?」Maple Semen問,在他的牛仔服上擦拭他沾滿汁液的手。 「 是的。」2nd Man In 回答:「我們對你們提出的雙三跑計畫有疑慮。就像這個,在石碇老街嗎?階梯太多了!」 「階梯,階梯…」LuLuMe怯生生地說。 「階梯怎麼了?」Maple Semen問。 「只要是階梯,一切都有問題!」Supercalifragilisticexpialidome說。 「我們不能讓捷兔們大老遠跑來石碇,跑他媽一公里的上坡樓梯。新竹hash的那堆智障會怎麼說我們?」 “Your trails all have the same problem,” said Toasted Taint, “Dakeng, Yangmingshan… Elephant Mountain?” LuLuMe giggled, “Stairs, heh heh, Staaaiiirs.” “Not acceptable,” said BBC, “and what about this one, the one in Xinyi? Why is it 0km distance, 1km elevation?” “Oh, that’s the Taipei 101,” said Maple Semen, “500 meters up the stairs one way, 500 meters down the other.” “Stairs, STAIRS! Hee hee, so many pretty stairs, hee hee,” laughed a crazed LuLuMe, jumping up and down and touching herself. Toasted Taint 發言:「你的路線都有同樣的問題,大坑、陽明山…還有象山?」 LuLuMe 咯咯地笑:「都是階梯,呵呵!階~梯。」 BBC說:「無法接受!還有這是什麼,信義區的這條路線,為什麼海拔1公里,距離只有0公里?」 Maple Semen回答:「噢!那是臺北101,直上500加直下500。 」 「階梯~階梯!嘿嘿,好多美妙的階梯,嘿嘿。」LuLuMe 瘋狂地笑,摸著自己,跳來跳去。 “I have a solution,” said 2nd Man In, “which is still in Shiding, but a little south, skipping the stairs and cutting through farmland instead. Hashers love farms.” “Farms, FARMS” said XiaoJiJi, “so many animals cocks!” “All in favor?” asked Tiny Balls. All present raised their hands yes. “Then it’s settled, but I’m curious, LuLuMe: why do you like stairs so much?” LuLuMe stopped vibrating and replied: “In Taiwan, people go down stairs. But in Taiwan Hash, stairs go down on you!” 「我有一個解決辦法。還是石碇亂,但靠南方些,省略掉那些階梯,直接從農地切。捷兔們喜歡!」2nd Man In 提議。 小雞雞開心道:「農場~農場!會有很多動物的雞雞!」 小蛋蛋問:「大家都贊成嗎?」所有在場的人都舉起了手,一致通過。「那麽這件事情就解決了!但我很好奇,為什麼LuLuMe 妳那麼喜歡階梯?」 LuLuMe 停止擺動,回答說:「對於一般人,上下階梯只是腿部運動,但跑台灣健龍,階梯還可以輔助你訓練口腔肌群。」 Important info from the hares: Not Pet Friendly Bring cash for drinks half way down the mountain and Maqaw Sausage stop “Long” closes at 15:45. Bring gloves (optional). The long has a bit of rope grabbing and climbing in steep terrain, not recommended for the weaklings Super fun trail, under 200m elevation of stairs ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Maple Semen Cohare 副兔: Just LuLuMe ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線:A to A S: 6.2km + Elevation 430m L: 9km + Elevation 736m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, March 3, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Down the road from Shiding Old Street https://maps.app.goo.gl/9ejn6W2tg4sMgZmd8?g_st=ic ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the 666 bus from Muzha MRT (brown line) to Shiding Old Street OR Take the 679 bus from Nangang Exhibition Center MRT (blue line) and transfer to bus 666 at Shenkeng Elementary School. Get off at Shiding Old Street *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 驛站小吃 0226631652 https://maps.app.goo.gl/dSjkpVksHggm1zwr9
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2543 Inquiry
March 3, 2024 (2:00 pm) – March 3, 2024 (6:00 pm)
Down the road from Shiding Old Street https://maps.app.goo.gl/9ejn6W2tg4sMgZmd8?g_st=ic
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