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Dr. Anal Technology had finished calibrating his new invention, the caffeinated prostate massager. He switched it on and had just set the dials to “full-auto” and “double expresso” when he got a text from Cums Once A Year to join him for a recce. “Looks important! I guess I’ll test this machine out later,” he said, turning off the lights and leaving his workshop. “But… my butt,” said GM and volunteer product tester WWTTBBWW, still strapped tightly to the now rapidly whirring device. Dr. Anal Technology 剛剛完成校準他最新的發明 – 一台會釋放咖啡因的睪丸按摩器。他啟動這個按摩器，將設定排在「全自動」以及「雙倍濃縮（咖啡）」來做測試。就在這時，他收到Cums Once A Year傳來的簡訊，找他一起去探路。「這個探路的事感覺上很重要很緊急，看來我只能再找時間測試這台機器了。」他邊說邊關燈，準備離開工作室。「喂…..但是….等等….我的屁屁啊…….」身為今年會長，也是產品自願測試員的WWTTBBWW呻吟道，仍然緊緊地被綁在正在快速嗡嗡作響的裝置上。 The good doctor drove to Xindian, where he found Cums Once A Year at a temple, preemptively apologizing to the priests for all the offenses the hashers might commit there. “Why here, so close to a cemetery?” asked Dr. Anal Technology. “I was enchanted by the beauty of the corpses, I mean, the tombs,” said Cums Once a Year. The recce confirmed the location was indeed enchanting, with a little climbing and some very scenic graves. A few appeared to have been recently opened, but Cums Once A Year said not to worry about that, or about how dirty his clothes were, or the shovel he was carrying. 這位完美博士開著車去了新店，在一座廟裡找到Cums Once A Year，那可憐人正在不斷地跟廟公道歉，預防性地為接下來週日可能會發生的任何脫序一切做最努力的彌補。「為什麼決定把路線設在這裡？這裡離墓仔埔好近啊！」Dr. Anal Technology問。「我深深著迷在那些美麗的屍體…噢不，我是說那些墓地墓碑。」Cums Once A Year說。探路的過程確實經過許多美麗並且風水極佳的路段，一些小小的爬升以及迷人景緻的墓地。一些墓地甚至看起來有被挖開還散發著新鮮濕潤的泥巴味。但Cums Once A Year反覆強調不要擔心也無需理會，這沒什麼的，不管他身上的衣服為什麼那麼髒，或是為什麼他扛著一把鏟子…. Still, Dr. Anal Technology couldn’t shake the feeling throughout the run that he was being watched. That something invisible was over his shoulder, whispering in the shadows. That he forgot something at work. Did he leave the lights on? He remained uneasy as he went home that night while Cums Once A Year stayed behind to “visit an old, old, girlfriend.” Had some entity followed him home from the graves? He couldn’t sleep. He planned to return to the temple the next day to make an offering. 儘管如此，Dr. Anal Technology 在跑這路線的過程中總是感覺有什麼一直盯著他。那個他看不見的東西坐在他肩上，在黑影裡低喃，提醒他是否在工作室裡忘了什麼。他忘了關燈嗎？那天晚上他回家，仍然有著不安的感覺。而Cums Once A Year則留下來說是要去拜訪一個”很久很久以前的前女友” 。博士整晚輾轉難眠，是不是有什麼從墓仔埔出來纏上我了？他打算隔天一早回去那間廟收個驚。 That night, neighbors of the normally quiet number 7 cemetery reported hearing unnatural grunting noises, and the night staff at Dr. Anal Technology’s workplace reported hearing continuous moaning long into the morning. How spooky! 那天晚上，通常寧靜的7號公墓社區通報說聽到了非自然的咕噥聲，同時在博士的工作室裡上夜班的人員也回報說有持續呻吟不間斷到早上的聲音。天啊，多麼詭異的事件啊！ Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Cums Once a Year Cohare 副兔: Dr. Anal Technology ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 6 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 230 m L: 9 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 330 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 30 March 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Shenzhangban (Wenshan Farm) 伸丈板(文山農場) https://maps.app.goo.gl/A5LTJp6EbwteHSAu7 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Xindian then Bus 849. Parking available at run start. 捷運新店站然後公車849. 在A點有車位 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Wen Sun Farm 新北市農會文山農場 0226667512 https://maps.app.goo.gl/eFugNggPSUkBqGmA6

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2599 Inquiry

When & Where

March 30, 2025 (2:30 pm) – March 30, 2025 (6:00 pm)

Shenzhangban (Wenshan Farm) 伸丈板(文山農場) https://maps.app.goo.gl/A5LTJp6EbwteHSAu7