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“Why are we doing this, again,” wheezed Tiny Balls? “Because I promised the Committee that I would find a real leprechaun to hare the St. Patrick’s Day run, and we are sure to find one at the end of the rainbow,” said XiaoJiJi. “Gay…” said Tiny Balls, but as they followed the rainbow into the heart of Ximending, they found Big John in a green dress sitting by a pot of 50NTD coins. “Well, shove a potato up me arse and call me an air fryer,” said Big John, “It’s another Irishman! Haigh laddies, what’s the craic?”* “What the hell is he saying?” asked Tiny Balls. “He thinks you are a leprechaun,” said XiaoJiji. “What? Why?” asked Tiny Balls. “Because you are short. And ginger. And drunk,” explained XiaoJiJi, who then turned to Big John: “Greetings, creature! We are the great GMs of Taiwan Hash, and we have traveled to the end of the rainbow to demand you hare our St. Patrick’s Day run!” “Stall the ball there, gobshite,” replied Big John in his indecipherable slang, “ye have serious notions, innit? But I’m cream crackered and my runners are banjaxed.”** “Sorry, I don’t speak Cantonese,” said Tiny Balls. 「又來了，爲什麼我們要再做一次？」喘呼呼的小蛋蛋問。 「因爲我答應台灣健龍委員會，我會找到一個真正的愛爾蘭妖精來當聖派翠克節（愛爾蘭的 St. Patrick’s Day）的兔子，而且我們肯定會在彩虹的盡頭找到一個。」小雞雞回答道。 「有夠gay的…」小蛋蛋抱怨地說，當他們沿着彩虹進入西門町的核心時，他們發現穿着綠色洋裝的 Big John 坐在一個裏面裝滿50元硬幣的罐子旁邊。 「來吧，把一顆馬鈴薯塞進我屁股裡，叫我氣炸鍋。」Big John 說著：「唷！這是另一個愛爾蘭人～小傢伙們，有什麼好玩的嗎？」 「瘋了嗎？他到底在說什麼？」小蛋蛋問。 「他以爲你也是個愛爾蘭妖精。」小雞雞說。 「啥？爲什麼？」小蛋蛋問。 「誰叫你這麼矮，又有紅頭髮，還喝很ㄎ一尢。」 小雞雞解釋完，然後轉向 Big John：「你好，神秘的生物！我們是 Taiwan Hash 的王牌搭檔 GMs，我們走到彩虹的盡頭，想邀請你擔任我們的聖派翠克節的兔子！」 「把蛋蛋擺在那裏，蠢貨！」Big John 用他難以辨認的謾罵回應。 「你有很有意思的想法，不是嗎？我累壞了，而且我的跑者們都醉得一塌糊塗。」「真抱歉，我不會講廣東話。」小蛋蛋說。 “I’ll be your GM,” said Big John, switching to Protestant English, “if you can answer me these riddles three. One: What’s the first thing up at the top of the mornin’?” The GM’s pondered the riddle. “A rooster,” said Tiny Balls. “No, a cock,” said Big John. “That’s what I said,” complained Tiny Balls! “Riddle Two: what’s white, sticky, and is better to spit than swallow,” asked Big John? “Toothpaste,” said XiaoJiJi, innocently. “No, my cock,” said Big John. “Why would your cock be sticky,” asked Tiny Balls? “Last riddle,” said Big John, “what is hard, sometimes drips, and feels good when you blow it?” XiaoJiJi was about to say “a nose” before Tiny Balls slapped him. “Your cock,” said the diminutive GM. “Aye, grand! You win! Okay, I’ll hare your run,” said Big John. “Hooray, I knew I could get a real leprechaun to be our hare” celebrated XiaoJiJi. “What the bejaysus? I’m not a leprechaun, ye half eejit ye,” exclaimed Big John, “the leprechaun is over there.” The GM’s looked at where he was pointing and saw a Taiwanese gentleman in a green dress. “Hello,” said Ding Bu Dong, “I am a leprechaun. I’ll be your co-hare.” “Hooray,” said XiaoJi, and they all riverdanced a jig all the way home. 「我將成爲你的新任GM！」切換成新教英語的 Big John 說：「如果你能解出我的三道謎題，第一題，什麼東西會最先在一早翹起來？」 王牌搭檔 GMs 琢磨著謎題… 「公雞？」小蛋蛋答道。 「錯！是雞雞。」Big John 駁應。 「我們說的是同一件事吧！」小蛋蛋抱怨著。 「第二題：什麼東西是白色、黏糊糊的，吐出來比吞嚥好。」Big John 問。 「 牙膏。」天真的小雞雞回答。 「錯，是我的雞雞。」Big John 再次駁應。 「為什麼你的雞雞是黏糊糊的？」小蛋蛋質問。 「最後一題：什麼是硬邦邦，有時候會滴水，吹起來很舒服？」Big John 問。 小雞雞正準備說：「鼻子。」就被小蛋蛋扇了一巴掌，並搶答：「你的雞雞。」 「耶！讚喔！你答對了，好吧～我會當你的兔子。」Big John 說。 「萬歲！我就知道我可以得到一個真正的妖精做我們的兔子。」小雞雞歡呼道。 「什麼！我不是妖精，你們傻了嗎？」Big John 驚呼道：「妖精在那邊。」 GM們望向 Big Joh 指的方向，看到一個穿著綠洋裝的臺灣紳士。 「你好！我是愛爾蘭妖精，我將擔任你們的副兔。」Ding bu dong說。 「 萬歲！」小雞雞再次歡呼，然後他們跳著愛爾蘭踢踏舞一路回家。 * “Hello, gentlemen. How are you?” ** “Slow down, fool. You are overly prideful, but I am tired and my shoes are damaged.” 「哈囉，紳士們，你們好嗎？」 「慢點呀，傻瓜！你太驕傲了。我累了，而且我的鞋子壞了。」 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Big John Cohare 副兔: Ding Bu Dong ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:B run / 路線：A to B Less than 8 km + Elevation: 78 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, March 17, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* A Point: Taipei City Hakka Cultural Park 臺北市客家文化主題公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/rgT2Xi8bELNtUTgU7 B Point: https://maps.app.goo.gl/TeSU6sSwiTQKushG9 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Public transportation to the run start MRT SECTION (Runners will run underground from Beimen to Taipei Main Station and take train to Sun Yat Sen) Green Dresses Run – This run takes us through all of the busiest places of Taipei City so please dress as ridiculously as possible to maximize potential mortification. *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* REV-NOW 0983167597 https://maps.app.goo.gl/T5F1L1o24CE4Lchy9

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2545 Inquiry

When & Where

March 17, 2024 (2:00 pm) – March 17, 2024 (6:00 pm)

A Point: Taipei City Hakka Cultural Park 臺北市客家文化主題公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/rgT2Xi8bELNtUTgU7 B Point: https://maps.app.goo.gl/TeSU6sSwiTQKushG9

Dress code

Green Dress Run