#2670 – Houtong Biohazard
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When Hard Fuck heard that Houtong was “the town of pussy”, this was not what he had in mind. He stood on the main street, two mewling tabbies nuzzling about his ankles. A young couple fawned over a ginger tom while angling a selfie wand. A gaggle of summerschoolers ripped wrappers from catshaped popsicles. A horsefly scrambled across a mound of discarded kibble. “Not what I had in mind at all,” he mumbled. He started down the road, hands in his pockets, passing a gang of gapyear language students of various European nationalities. “Wo hen ai Taiwan mao,” said one Italian-looking girl, her pronunciation about as good as the town’s brothel options. Hard Fuck sighed. But then he looked up and saw a sign in a second floor window: A-MA’S HARRIETTE TEAHOUSE “Now we’re talking,” said Hard Fuck. A narrow staircase led from the street to a dark doorway, and a bell tinkled as he opened the door and stepped inside. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw a tea parlour filled with lady hashers draped across overstuffed velvet chaises longues, dressed as cats, drinking tea. A sweet older woman with gray curly fur and long whiskers approached him. “I’m A-ma. Welcome to our teahouse. Achoo! Excuse me. I don’t believe we’ve seen you here before, Mr…?” “Hard Fuck.” “Ah, yes. This week’s hare for Taiwan Hash, I hear.” A-ma pulled an embroidered handkerchief from her sleeve and parped her nose into it. “You must excuse me. Allergies, I’m sure. Anyway, let me introduce you to Oh-Face. She’s over there on the scratching post.” Hard Fuck looked over and saw Oh-Face, dressed as a sleek Siamese, sharpening her claws on a pole wrapped in hemp string. She, too, had a runny nose. “Thoroughbred?” Hard Fuck asked A-ma. “For the right price.” Hard Fuck gazed around the room. Why had he wasted all these years at a men’s only hash? Taiwan Hashers were much more pleasing to the eye, with the possible exception of Walkie Walkie, who was perched on a pouffe doing a fine impression of a hairless sphynx. It’s just a shame they all had a cold, and poor mask-wearing habits… BANG! Tinkle tinkle tinkle. The door flew open. Hard Fuck watched as the bell flew off the wall and skittered across the floor, stopping at Free Boob’s hind paws. He turned back to see a man standing in the door, wearing a white face mask and green windbreaker, and carrying a microphone with (today) an orange foam cover. “I am Just Chen Shih-chung. This teahouse has been infected by the highly contagious Hash Virus!” The room gasped. Walkie Walkie coughed up a furball. Goodness knows whose fur. “This place is officially quarantined, and Taiwan Hash shall today be cancelled.” Atop the freshly ejected furball, the microscopic Hash Virus rose to his feet, holding a tiny plastic bag filled with RNA. “You’ll never catch me – soon I shall infect the world. If there’s one thing hashers don’t understand, it’s social distancing!” With that, he was picked up by a draught, and flew out of the door. Just Chen Shi-chung was infected immediately. He fell to his knees, removed his shoe, and drank a beer from it as if possessed. Gargling through Taiwan Beer, he shouted: “On on!” Credits Story: Hairless Hero ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Hash Virus Cohare 副兔: Hard Fuck ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 6 km + Elevation/爬升: 400 m L: 8 km + Elevation/爬升: 500 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 9 August 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Houtong Activity Center 猴硐活動中心 https://maps.app.goo.gl/JTKzCDhNdsBWdDE29 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take a TRA train to Houtong Station then walk to the run start 搭台鐵到猴硐站然後走到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 瑞三福利餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Ng9DLbBNgv71qG8r9 *******On After (Potential location/候選地點 ~9pm/大概九點)******* Nangang Station BravoCafe https://maps.app.goo.gl/n5hJoUsSmqoSdhqTA?g_st=ic *******Upcoming/接下來 ******* #2671 Period/Vulture Jinguashi 金瓜石 #2672 The Devil Within/??? Nanshijiao 南勢角 #2673 Häagen-Dazs/??? ??? *******Dick Check******* Although we want you to have fun on the party bus and other hash events, remember that you being drunk isn’t an invitation to grope, harass someone or generally be a dick. Any inappropriate behavior will be met with an immediate 1 year ban from all Taiwan Hash events regardless of your gender and sexual orientation. We’re here to have fun and that’s it! Just remember, think about your mother before you act, that should get rid of your horn. *給全部跑友的提醒* 我們希望大家都在聚會和派對上玩得開心，但請注意，就算喝醉也不代表你可以隨意去摸 來摸去、騷擾別人或是變成一個混蛋。當我們發現有任何不適當的行為發生，不論你的性別或性向是如何，我們 將馬上禁止你一年內不得再來TwH³聚會或派對! 請記住，我們來TwH³開心的，請大家三思而後行! *******Disclaimer******* 1- First time runners! Bring a change, a set of clean clothes and shoes. Trail might be muddy, crossing rivers may happen, and hares are responsible if it is raining (blame them during the down-downs). 2- Hashers bringing first time runners, please, be in charge to babysit them along the trail. 3- It is recommended to 1st Time runners to bring their cell phone on the trail. 4- This is a running event, it may include trails, climbing, snakes … runners are informed they are RESPONSIBLE for their OWN safety. Late Walkers/Runners will be rescued if missing at the finish line… 5- Eat before joining to avoid low blood sugar. 6- This event includes alcoholic beverages, please be responsible and don’t drive. 1- 第一次來參加的兔友們，請攜帶更換的衣服及鞋子。路線可能會泥濘，也有可能會穿越 一些河。如果下雨的 話，就怪兔子吧(你可以在down down時唸他們一下)!! 2- 帶第一次來跑的兔友們，請自行負責照顧你的朋友! 3- 我們建議第一次來跑的朋友們，帶著你的手機一起跑，以備不時之需 4- 這是一個跑山的活動，這代表會有未開發的小徑、攀岩、蛇等等，參加者自行對自身安全負責。遲到或是走比 較慢的兔友，我們如果發現你沒回到終點，我們會去找你 5- 參加此活動前，請確保你來之前吃些東西，避免低血糖血壓狀況發生 6- 這是一個提供酒精飲料的活動，喝酒不開車，開車不喝酒 *****【Give up the legal right of prosecution if accident, injury and death】***** Attending this group’s activities are based on personal will. Participants are responsible for their own health condition, safety, and insurance. This announcement is against the legal right of prosecution if any attendant or group members has any form of accident, injury or death that occurred on all group activities. *****【放棄意外及傷亡法律追訴權】***** 參加本社團活動為個人自主意願參加，身體健康無礙能自行負責個人安全者，且在活動務必能確保自身安全或自行處理保險，如個人在活動中如發生任何形式「意外」或「傷亡」，皆不得以任何法律追訴，本社團及任何領隊或其他團員，得以放棄法律追訴權者得以參加本社團活動，依此公告為證生效
Book Now
mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2670 Inquiry
When & Where
August 9, 2026 (2:30 pm) – August 9, 2026 (6:00 pm)
Houtong Activity Center 猴硐活動中心 https://maps.app.goo.gl/JTKzCDhNdsBWdDE29
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