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“This is my favorite kind of vessel,” said Shipwreck, “freshly polished and covered in seamen.” Toothpick stood by him on the dock, chewing on a bamboo stem and watching the dozens of shirtless Taiwanese uncles shuffling slowly to their stations across Shipwreck’s new riverboat, The Geriatric. “I’m not sure about this crew,” said Toothpick, “they seem a bit… weathered.” “Nonsense! They are the best of the best!,” said Shipwreck, “Some of them sailed here in 1949! And all of them are hashers, very fast runners. Well, fast walkers.” “That one is using a walker,” said Toothpick, now chewing on a lollipop stick. “Don’t worry, we can’t possibly sink,” said Shipwreck. 「這種船真的很屌！」 Shipwreck兩眼發光繼續說著， 「剛剛上完蠟然後船上都是強壯的水手辣男們。」Toothpick跟他一起站在碼頭上，嘴裏咬著一根竹籤，看著十幾個赤裸上半身阿公級的哥哥們邁著年老的步伐走向Shipwreck的新船 – Geriatric號。「你確定這是你要用的船員嗎？」Toothpick問，「他們看起來好像有點….日積月累的風化了。」「胡說八道！他們是我特選出來菁英中的精英！」 Shipwreck說 「其中有些在民國三十八年還是航行來台灣的！而且他們全部都有在跑捷兔，他們跑很快耶！噢不，走很快啦！」 「蛤，真的嗎？你看那一位，他還拿著一根手杖。」Toothpick 問道，現在他正在舔一根棒棒糖。「放心啦，再怎樣船是不可能會沉的！」Shipwreck拍胸保證。 “Well, we sank,” said Shipwreck a few hours later, up a creek somewhere in Shiding district. Toothpick said nothing, wringing river water out of his clothes while chewing on a plastic straw. “To think, it all started from a pinhole-sized leak. If only we had a thin, pointed, wooden item to plug the hole with,” said Shipwreck. “I can’t imagine what object you are talking about,” said Toothpick, “but at least now I can recce my run for 4/20.” “Who will be your co-hare?” asked Shipwreck, cracking open a Taiwan Beer on a walker that washed ashore. “Well, I asked the German hashers, but they said something about a birthday party that day,” said Toothpick, cleaning his teeth with a metal chopstick, “and I asked the Americans, but they said they will all be smoki… chewing betel nut that day.” 幾個小時後： 「好吧，我們確實沉船了，」Shipwreck載浮載沉在石碇區的某個小溪支流上喊道。Toothpick 沈默不語，他一邊嚼著一條塑膠吸管，一邊從衣服裡擰出河水。「檢討起來，這一切都始於一個針孔大小的破洞。如果我們有一個小小的尖尖的細細長長的木製的東西來堵住這個洞，後來也不會進水進到沉船…..」Shipwreck 暗示到。「真的！我還真想不到有什麼東西是長這個樣子可以來補船上那一開始的洞。」Toothpick深思道，「但至少現在我可以在這裡來探路我四月二十號要做的路線！」 「誰是你的副兔啊？」Shipwreck 問，他邊用著這一支被沖上岸的手杖，邊開了一瓶台啤。「我問了那些德國人捷兔，他們說那天有一個什麼生日趴要去忙，」Toothpick回答，現在正在用一支不鏽鋼牙籤剔牙，「然後我問了那些美國人捷兔，他們說那天要忙著吃整天的檳榔（大麻草藥）…..」 “How about me?” asked Shipwreck, who was piling up the driftwood and grandpas that were washing on the shore. “After what just happened? I don’t know…,” said Toothpick, fishing in his pockets for something to chew on, but finding nothing. “Trust me,” said Shipwreck, holding out his hand. Inside… a small, thin, intricately carved splinter of whale ivory no bigger than a needle. “Is that… a life-size scrim-shaw replica of XiaoJiJi’s dick?” said Toothpick. “It’s perfect! I can use this to clean my ears! Okay, you can be my co-hare!” 「那我呢？不如找我做你的副兔啊！」 Shipwreck 提議，他正在堆放被沖刷上岸的那些浮木以及阿公水手們。 「 啊…..這些剛剛發生的一切之後，我不知道耶……你能勝任副兔嗎？」Toothpick面有難色，他伸手在口袋裡找著任何可以刁在嘴巴裡的東西，卻什麼也沒找到。 「安啦！」Shipwreck說著，伸出手給主兔一個東西。 手裡面……是一個小小的、細細長長的、複雜精緻雕刻的鯨魚象牙做的刺，就像一根繡花針。 「這難道是……現場真人版大小完美復刻一比一的XiaoJiJi的鳥鳥嗎？」 Toothpick驚嘆。 「讚啊！ 我可以用這個來挖耳朵！ 好吧，你可以做我的副兔！」 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Toothpick Cohare 副兔: Shipwreck ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 5 km + Elevation / 爬升: 200 m L: 7 km + Elevation / 爬升: 300 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 20 April 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 耳空龜福德宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/5GhUckSioBhtru5j6 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Muzha then take Bus 795 to Wukeng 捷運木柵站然後公車795到五坑然後走路5分鐘 Parking available nearby 附近有車位 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 笠林茶棧 2 2663 2690 https://maps.app.goo.gl/LVr7pGeUrNfp42C98

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2602 Inquiry

When & Where

April 20, 2025 (2:00 pm) – April 20, 2025 (6:00 pm)

耳空龜福德宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/5GhUckSioBhtru5j6