#2526 - The Not-So-Secret Secret Run


Bull’s Eye prides himself on his accuracy: he can throw a beer bottle at a target 200 yards away, spit at a loud hasher who won’t shut up during down downs at 40 paces, and write his name with his pee in flawless clerical script . But he was having trouble finding the spot where 5G said to meet him, at a Disaster Prevention Park in Xindian. “Hopefully the trail will be better marked than this,” he thought, as he stopped over a decorative manhole cover. Suddenly, the lid descended: it was a secret elevator! Bull’s Eye found himself in a dimly lit and unpleasant smelling lair. The walls were covered with newspaper clippings connected by a spiderweb of red strings. Pinned to one wall were photos of the Hash Committee, with Mexican Handjob circled in red and the words “Who will be the next GM?!?!” scrawled in chalk over and over from the floor to the ceiling. 正中靶心(Bull’s Eye)向來以自己的準確性自豪:他可以用啤酒瓶丟中200 碼外的目標,在噹噹的時候向40 步以外不肯他媽的閉嘴愛吵鬧的hasher吐口水,並一邊尿尿一邊用尿尿以完美隸書體簽出自己的名字。但他卻找不到5G跟他約的見面點,一個在新店的防災公園。 「希望亂的時候會有更好更清楚的標記,」他在一個裝飾井蓋前停下來想著。 突然,蓋子開始下降:這是一部秘密電梯!! 正中靶心發現自己身處在一個燈光昏暗、氣味難聞的巢穴中。 牆上貼滿了剪報,用紅色繩線編織的蜘蛛網連接。 牆上釘著hash幹部們的照片,墨西哥手工活用紅色圈起來,上面寫著「誰會是下一任會長?!?!?!?!」從地板到天花板,用粉筆一遍又一遍地潦草地寫著。 Out from behind a desk facing a dozen computer screens came 5G wearing a Guy Fawkes mask, who proceeded to spray Bull’s Eye with kaoliang. “To remove the nanobots,” he explained. “Come, let me show you the route I have planned!” 5G led Bull’s Eye to a map on the floor, on which snaked a complex route in string. “I have gone over this trail thousands of times,” said 5G breathlessly. “It bypasses all the secret government cameras, traces the ley lines that the Illuminati used when they built Taipei, and has terrible cellphone coverage, not even 3G.” “It looks… complicated,” said Bull’s Eye, “so here’s my alternative plan.” He pulled out a drawing from his pocket. “This is just a circle,” said 5G. “And the bash will be in the center,” said Bull’s Eye proudly. “I think maybe we can compromise and find something in the middle,” said 5G in a brief moment of clear thought. “Now go! I am borrowing this lair from the lizard people and they will soon be coming over for karaoke. They are really nice, once you get to know them!” ** Sunday’s bash is at The Shack — great pizza, great beer. Order and pay for yourself! ** 戴著V怪客面具的 5G 從面向十幾個電腦螢幕的桌子後面走出來,他開始向正中靶心噴灑高粱。 「為了幹掉奈米機器人,」他解釋道。「來,我讓你看看我規劃的路線!」 5G 引導正中靶心看到地板上的一張地圖,上面蜿蜒著一條複雜的路線。 「這條路我已經走過千百遍了。」5G氣喘吁籲地說。「它繞過所有政府的秘密監視器,追踪光明會在建造台北時使用的地雷線,並且手機收訊會很糟糕,甚至連 3G都沒有。」「看起來……很複雜,」正中靶心說,「所以這是我的替代計劃。」他從口袋裡掏出一幅畫。 「這只是一個圓圈」,5G說。 「罷許將在中心舉行,」正中靶心自豪地說。 「我認為也許我們可以妥協然後找到折中的辦法,」5G 在短暫的清晰思考中說道。 「走吧!這個巢穴是我向蜥蜴人借的,他們很快就會過來唱卡拉OK,只要你跟他們混熟了,他們人真的很好。」 **星期天的晚餐會是在”野菇屋” (The Shack) — 絕佳的披薩絕佳的啤酒!! 自己點自己付錢!! ** ****** WHO / 誰 ****** Hare 主兔: 5G Cohare 副兔: Bull’s Eye / 正中靶心 ****** WHAT / 蝦咪 ****** A:A run / 路線:A to A 6.5 km + Elevation: 360 m / 爬升: 360 m ****** WHEN / 啥時 ****** Date: Sunday, November 5th, 2023 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 ****** WHERE / 哪兒 ****** Taiping Sports Park (Xindian) 太平運動公園(防災公園) (新店) https://maps.app.goo.gl/6aYayXZuS7xJBKQR7 ****** HOW / 怎去 ****** Walk 1km from Xindian MRT. Or, take any bus to Xitou stop – around 20 routes pass by, so one should be convenient 從新店捷運站走1公里 ,或是搭任何公車到溪頭站,有20多條路線可到達~ ****** PRICE / 價格 ****** Men / 男人: $250 Women / 女人: $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* The Shack 野菇屋 Pizza 碧潭店 https://maps.app.goo.gl/dLtYxMfxXAdE5m2P9

When & Where

November 5, 2023 (2:00 pm) – November 5, 2023 (6:00 pm)

Taiping Sports Park (Xindian) 太平運動公園(防災公園) (新店) https://maps.app.goo.gl/6aYayXZuS7xJBKQR7