Monthly Archives: December 2023
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December 27, 2023

#2592 – The TwH3/BH3 Double Birthday Joint Run

#2592 - The TwH3/BH3 Double Birthday Joint Run

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This week’s run is a joint run between Taiwan Hash and Birthday Hash, which only happens on a hare’s birthday! Whose birthday is it this week? Why none other than our totally-not-a-communist-spy co-GM, 70% Gay! To plan this run, our GM distracted WWTTBBWW with a shiny ball, then took off in the opposite direction towards the secret entrance of the Birthday Lair. Once inside, past the confetti and cake tins, she found B-day Hash GM Maple Semen and the Birthday Computer, containing information on every hasher’s birthdate, favorite birthday cake flavor, and internet browser history. 本週的路跑是臺灣捷兔團和生日捷兔團的聯合跑步，這種事只會發生在當這是某個重要野兔的生日時！ 所以這周到底是誰生日？ 果然不是別的任何人，正是我們那個絕對不可能是中共內地間諜的會長 – 70% Gay！ 為了計劃這次跑步，她用一個會發光的蛋蛋去影響WWTTBBWW的注意力，然後對著反方向出發，跑向慶生基地的秘密入口。 一進去，經過五彩繽紛的碎紙花和蛋糕罐頭，在盡頭她找到了生日捷兔團的會長 Maple Semen和慶生專用的電腦，電腦中的大數據包含每個野兔及成員的出生年月日、最喜歡的生日蛋糕口味和他們上網的瀏覽器歷史記錄的資訊。 “Happy early birthday,” said Maple Semen, “I wasn’t sure what flavor you like, but I made you a cake. Please try it.” “Thanks,” said 70% Gay, picking up a fork, “what flavor is it?” “Maple,” said Maple Semen. 70% Gay politely put her fork down. “I’ll pass. Can you recommend a good co-hare er?” she asked in a totally-not-mainlander-accent. “Yes,” said Maple Semen, “Sweaty Panty shares a birthday with you. I invited him to join us. Oh, here he is now!” On cue, Sweaty Panty entered. He placed a cake on the table, wiped his forehead with a soggy handkerchief, and gave each GM an unpleasantly wet handshake. “Happy early birthday,” he said, sweating profusely, “I made you a cake. Please try it! It’s very, very moist.” “I’ll pass, but I look forward to haring with you er,” said 70% Mao. “提前祝妳生日快樂，”Maple Semen說，“我不確定你喜歡什麼口味，但我給你做了一個蛋糕。 來試試看。” “謝謝你！”70% Gay說，拿起叉子，“這是什麼口味？” “楓葉糖漿汁液，”Maple Semen回答。 70% Gay 禮貌性地放下了她的叉子。 “噢，我忽然發現我不太餓了。對了，你能推薦一個好的副兔儿嗎？” 她盡量隱藏著她那與生俱來的內地口音問道。 “有有有，”Maple Semen說，“Sweaty Panty 跟妳同一天生日，我邀請他加入我們。 哦，他來了！” 就在這時，Sweaty Panty進來了。 他也帶了一個蛋糕並放在桌子上，然後用一條溼透了的手帕擦了擦他充滿汗珠的額頭，再用他那充滿手汗令人不蘇胡的掌心握了兩位會長的手。 “提前祝妳生日快樂，”他滿頭大汗地說，“我特地為妳做了一個蛋糕。 請試一試！ 它非常非常溼潤綿密。” “我不餓謝謝，但我期待著和你一起做路線，”70% Gay 禮貌性回答。 “What will the run be like?” asked Maple Semen. “It’ll be great er,” said comrade 70% Gay, “easily accessible from the Brown Line er.” “Hehe, you should run in your ‘birthday suits,’ and do a naked run,” said Tiny Balls, appearing suddenly. “I’m not doing that,” said 70% Gay, “also, what are you doing here er?” “I just came to erase my browser history and drop off this cake for you,” said the diminutive redhead, “Happy early birthday! Please try it.” “Thanks,” said 70% Gay, picking up a fork and taking a bite. “This tastes odd. What did you put in it er?” “A little ginger,” said Tiny Balls with a wink. 70% Gay put her fork down, into Tiny Ball’s thigh. “這個路線大概會是什麼樣子？” Maple Semen問。 “這會非常棒，就在文湖棕線的旁邊儿。”70% Gay說。這時Tiny Balls興奮地附和道：“呵呵，妳應該穿著妳的「生日套裝」跑步。” “我才不要，”70%Gay說，“還有，你在這儿做啥啊？” “我只是來這裡刪除我的瀏覽器歷史記錄，然後把這個蛋糕交給你。 提前祝妳生日快樂！ 來，吃吃看，”他說。 “謝謝儂，”70%Gay 感動地說，於是拿起叉子嚐了一口。 “這味道怪怪的。 你在裡面放了什麼呢？” 身為紅髮的Tiny Balls賊眉鼠眼笑著回答： “我「親身自製」的祖傳秘方紅薑口味鮮奶油。” 70% Gay停下正在吃蛋糕，然後用手上的叉子用力刺向他的大腿。 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: 70% Gay Cohare 副兔: Sweaty Panty, Shot Girl ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 300 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 9 Feb 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Jiaxing Park 嘉興公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/PJsqsHwYupqu8k2x8?g_st=ic ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Liuzhangli Station 捷運六張犁站 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBA

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2592 Inquiry

When & Where

February 9, 2025 (2:00 pm) – February 9, 2025 (6:00 pm)

Jiaxing Park 嘉興公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/PJsqsHwYupqu8k2x8?g_st=ic

December 27, 2023

#2591 – Exit the Dragon, Enter the Snake

#2591 - Exit the Dragon, Enter the Snake

Details

Weeping Pussy was on his way back from the annual Taiwan Hash Name Awards, smiling proudly. He had just won the “Best Hash Name” award. Again. Of course, he was the only nominee, and the only person at the awards, which he organized himself because he loves his name so much, but still! As he carried his trophy through the Shilin area, he suddenly found himself in a thick fog, and then bumped into Serial Vapist, puffing on two vapes at once while peeing on a tree. “Ah, it’s you!” said Weeping Pussy. “Oh, hey, Mad Dog!” greeted Serial Vapist, mid-stream, “I’m just ‘draining my snake.’” “Excuse me! My name is Weeping Pussy, and I insist on being called such,” corrected Weeping Pussy. “Sorry,” said Serial Vapist, “so, what are your plans for Lunar New Year?” “Well…” began Weeping Pussy. Weeping Pussy 剛剛參加完一年一度的台灣捷兔名字頒獎典禮，他的臉上充滿驕傲的笑容。 他又再一次地獲得了“全台最佳捷兔名”獎。 當然，他是唯一的提名人，也是這個頒獎典禮唯一的參與者。他愛他自己的兔名愛到自己弄了一個頒獎典禮給自己，神經病！就在他帶著他的獎盃穿梭在士林區時，突然被困在一陣濃霧中，然後就撞上了Serial Vapist，這個人一邊同時在著兩隻電子煙，一邊在樹下撒尿。 “啊，是你啊！” Weeping Pussy說。 “哦，哈囉，Mad Dog！” Serial Vapist吐著煙問候道，“我只是在樹邊「榨乾我的蛇」”他解釋樹下撇尿這件事。 “等等，不好意思喔但我的名字是Weeping Pussy，我很堅持要這樣稱呼我！”Weeping Pussy糾正道。 “拍謝喔”Serial Vapist說，“那麼，你農曆新年有什麼計劃嗎？” “嗯……”Weeping Pussy準備回答。 “Excuse me! It’s Chinese New Year, er” said 70% Gay in her heavy Shanghai accent, as the two GMs suddenly appeared. Serial Vapist, not finished peeing, tried to hide behind a cloud of smoke. “I’ll be sad to see the year of the dragon go,” said WWTTBBWW, wearing a limited-edition Taiwan Hash Year of the Dragon t-shirt. “Year of the snake is just as good er,” said 70% Gay in her heavy mainlander accent. “If we’re doing snake-themed down-downs, can you please not make me whip my dick out in front of everyone?” asked WWTTBBWW. “Sorry,” said 70% Gay in her heavy communist accent, “your dick is the People’s dick now er.” “咳咳咳～各位！ 大家儿新年好呀！”70% Gay 操著她陰陽怪氣的上海內地口音喊道， 兩個會長這時粉墨登場。Serial Vapist 還尿到一半，看到那麼多人趕快躲在自己吐出的煙霧之中。WWTTBBWW穿著限量版臺灣健龍捷兔T恤說：“看到龍年要過去，真有點不捨得。” “蛇年也一樣好的伐，” 70% Gay 用她沉重的內地上海口音說。 “如果我們要用蛇年為主題做這個噹噹，妳能不能不要讓我當著所有人的面甩出我的小雞雞？” WWTTBBWW問道。 “真是對不住了呀，”70% Gay 繼續用她那共產黨口音說，“儂的雞雞儿現在是全國人民的雞雞儿了。” “Excuse me! I was trying to say something,” said Weeping Pussy, “I think we should celebrate the new year with a post-bash karaoke at a nearby lounge bar!” The two GMs were silent: that was actually a really good idea! “Ow!,” cried Serial Vapist, “I think a snake just bit me on the snake!” Everyone looked down by his feet and saw a green tree viper, angry and covered in piss. “Quick! Someone suck out the poison,” said Serial Vapist. The boys turned to look at 70% Gay. “Sorry,” she said, “but there’s a 70% chance you are going to die er.” “靠腰耶各位！我正在說話，我要來說一下，”Weeping Pussy插嘴進來，“我想晚餐後我們應該在附近的卡拉OK酒吧來慶祝新年！” 兩位會長沉默了：這其實真的是一個很棒的主意！ “哎喲喂啊！！！”Serial Vapist哭喊，“我想我的小小蛇被一隻真的蛇咬到了！” 每個人都低下頭去看著他的腳，那邊有一條非常憤怒的青竹絲，身上都是尿尿。 “快！誰來幫我把毒素吸出來？，”Serial Vapist說。 所有的男生們轉過頭看著70% Gay。 “哎呀真是抱歉啦，”她說，“但儂有70%儿的機率會死的呀。” Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Weeping Pussy Cohare 副兔: Serial Vapist ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 9 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 150 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 2 Feb 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Huangxi Park 磺溪公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/bJxXLkjCSMJYVk1V8 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Zhishan MRT EXIT 2 捷運芝山站出口2 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 一極鮮熱炒 0228331722 https://maps.app.goo.gl/K7vuaH7Hw3Gd25rX7

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2591 Inquiry

When & Where

February 2, 2025 (2:00 pm) – February 2, 2025 (6:00 pm)

Huangxi Park 磺溪公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/bJxXLkjCSMJYVk1V8

December 27, 2023

#2590 – The Muddy Little Secret Run

#2590 - The Muddy Little Secret Run

Details

Wet Secret and Pig Mud were enjoying a soak in the hidden mud pool of Yuantankeng that only they know about. “I’m so glad you showed me where this place is,” said Pig Mud. “Sure, though I’m having some regrets,” said Wet Secret, “since it used to be a clear water spring before you started coming here.” “Mud is good for your skin,” snorted Pig Mud, “anyway, let us plan our run. You said it’s with Taiwan Hash?” “Yes,” said Wet Secret, “which means, finally, we don’t have to pick a run spot near the metro!” “The Metro is good for your lungs,” snorted Pig Mud. Wet Secret和Pig Mud正享受著泡在陽明山深處一個只有他們知道的泥潭裡。 “謝謝你與我分享了這個秘密景點，”Pig Mud說。 “不客氣，雖然我有點後悔，”Wet Secret說，“因為你還沒來之前，這裡曾經是一處非常清澈的泉水……” “泥巴對你的皮膚有好處，”Pig Mud哼了一聲，“不管怎樣，讓我們計劃一下我們的路線。 你說這是與臺灣健龍一起的？” “是啊，”Wet Secret說，“太好了！我們終於不用每次都必須設計在捷運附近的路線！” “捷運跑對你的肺有好處，”Pig Mud又發出幾次豬叫聲。 “How about this area? It’s not that far from the Green line, all you need is a bus,” asked Wet Secret. “Snort! You are riding buses now? Wait until Taipei Metro and New Taipei Metro Hash hear about this. You have lost your way!” criticized Pig Mud. “Don’t worry, I picked a route that skips most of the Mud and instead has good views, challenging checks, and runnable sections,” said Wet Secret as he unfurled a map. Pig Mud squealed unpleasantly. “But this trail runs through my secret bamboo shoot gardens! Bamboo shoots are good for my colon! Make sure those sticky-fingered Taiwan hashers don’t pick my lovely bamboo shoots!” he said. “Sure, whatever,” said Wet Secret. Pig Mud stood up in the muck and grabbed Wet Secret by the shoulders: “This is important! Make sure nobody hurts my poor bamboo shoots!” “Okay, okay! I’ll make sure they get the message!” said Wet Secret. “這裡怎麼樣？地點離新店綠線不遠，只需要轉個公車，”Wet Secret問道。 “齁齁！ 你現在都坐公車了嗎？ 等臺北捷運跑和新北捷運跑的大夥們知道這件事，你就死定了！” Pig Mud批評著。 Wet Secret打開一張地圖說：“放心，我選擇了一條沒有像Pig Mud一樣泥濘的路線，還有很好的景色、具有挑戰性的檢查標記和跑步友善的小徑。” Pig Mud不爽地用尖銳的豬聲說： “但這個路線會經過我秘密私藏的竹筍園！ 那些竹筍對我的結腸有益處！ 你要保證那些臺灣捷兔跑的髒手手不會去拔我可愛的竹筍！” “好啦，隨便吧，”Wet Secret說。 Pig Mud從泥潭跳起來，抓住Wet Secret的肩膀：“認真點！這很重要！ 你要保證沒有人會去傷害我那些可憐的竹筍！” “好啦，好啦！ 我會讓大家都知道的！” Wet Secret 回答道。 Pig Mud leaned in very close, the hairs on his chin tickling Wet Secret’s ears. “Do you know what happens to bamboo shoots after a pig has eaten them?” he asked. Wet Secret, more aroused than afraid, waited for the response. “The same thing that happens to everything else.” Pig Mud突然靠得很近，下巴上的毛在Wet Secret的耳朵上撓癢癢，恐嚇道： “你知道竹筍被豬吃下去之後會發生什麼事嗎？” Wet Secret 不發一語等著Pig Mud 解答，與其害怕，竟然產生了莫名的興奮感。 “什麼事都不會發生。” ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Wet Secret Cohare 副兔: Pig Mud ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A點到 A點 L/長： 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 400m S/短 : 5 km + Elevation/爬升: 300m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 26 Jan 2025/一月26號星期日 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑，請提早二十分鐘到 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 福德宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/G6hDXXgypC5V71JK7?g_st=ic ******HOW? / 怎去******* Metro to Qizhang, take bus to the last bus stop Daxiangshan by GR9 Gengxin, then follow the flour GR9 Gengxin GR9 Gengxin Route 捷運七張站轉公車綠9耕莘坐到大香山 下車後跟著麵粉走去 *******PRICE/參加費******* Men/男 $250 Women/女 $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Please find your Taiwanese friends and go home with them for a family meal. 新年快樂！請回家團圓圍爐！

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2590 Inquiry

When & Where

January 26, 2025 (2:00 pm) – January 26, 2025 (6:00 pm)

福德宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/G6hDXXgypC5V71JK7?g_st=ic

December 27, 2023

#2589 – The [Shitty] Rainbow Road Run

#2589 - The [Shitty] Rainbow Road Run

Details

Floating in Cum wasn’t scared, she told herself. It wasn’t unusual to meet the person she’d be co-haring with on trail in the middle of the night, halfway between Hsinchu and Taipei. It wasn’t weird that he asked her to bring a red envelope full of cash “for the temple” and come dressed as a pink bunny rabbit. It wasn’t strange that this was an A-to-B run. She told herself all this, and half-believed it, as she waited for Hsinchu’s least retarded runner to appear. Floating in Cum鼓勵著自己說她並不害怕…..在大半夜裡跟她的主兔約在介於台北及新竹不知名的深山野嶺完全不是什麼不正常大不了的事。而且主兔交代她準備一個裝滿現金的紅包來「贊助寺廟」，還必須裝扮成一隻大粉紅小白兔 的樣子，這也都絕對不是什麼奇怪值得懷疑的問題。就算這是一個AB點的路線也都是合情合理的。她半信半疑地說服自己這一切，因為她已經在等待新竹那個最白目的跑者出現了。 She smelled him before she saw him: felt his presence in the air, his icy gaze upon her neck, as goosebumps formed on her skin involuntarily. Then, as the clouds parted to unsheathe the cold steel of the full moon, she noticed him standing in the middle of the road: Shitty Rainbow, a.k.a. the Fast and the Furriest, a.k.a. Fuck my Bussy, a.k.a. the Milwaukee Cannibal. GM and apex predator of Hsinchu Hash. There he stood, crazed, half-naked, more animal than man, and dripping blood. Whose blood was it? “Calm down,” she told herself, “I’m being unfair. After all, I’m probably just as terrifying to him.” And she was. For, to his retarded Hsinchu eyes, here on the side of the road was this strange, rabbit creature: crazed, half-naked, more animal than woman, and dripping cum. Whose cum was it? Why is there so much of it? Is some of it his? What happened last night? Why does this always happen every time he comes to Taipei? 還沒看到他，已經可以聞到他的氣味：她感受到那個在脖子後面冷冰冰的噁心注視，便不由自主寒毛豎起戰慄起來。 此時，天上密佈的烏雲散開露出了刺骨冷鋼鐵亮的大圓滿月，她終於看到站在路中間的新竹捷兔會長，終極變態掠奪者：Shitty Rainbow，別名the Fast and the Furriest，或是 Fuck my Bussy，也是the Milwaukee Cannibal。他站在那裡，發瘋的樣子、半裸，看起來更像一隻野獸不像一個男人，全身滴著血。 等等，這是誰的血？ “冷靜點，”她自言自語，“這樣說對他可能不公平。畢竟，他可能也有被我嚇壞” …..這邊從Shitty Rainbow最弱智的新竹眼睛視角裡， 她這個副兔：一個站在路邊奇怪的大粉紅兔子生物：發瘋的樣子、半裸，看起來更像一隻野獸不像一個女人，全身滴著…精液。等等，這是誰的精液？ 為什麼有這麼多？ 其中一些是他自己的嗎？ 昨晚到底發生了什麼？ 為什麼他每次來臺北都會發生這種情況？ What happened afterwards, the police report doesn’t say, but the two apparently became fast friends, united by a shared love of draining other people of certain body fluids and bathing in them. In a nod to their unconventional hobbies, their run will be in a remote area perfect for luring unsuspecting men to an unexpected surprise, disposing of evidence, and exposing oneself to woodland creatures. The hares look forward to others chasing them, for once, and promise you’ll be floating in beer at the proposed bash place. Put this run on your most wanted list! 之後的事情在警方做的筆錄上並沒有詳細地記載，但兩人馬上就成為了好麻吉，他們因為類似的癖愛而團結一心：就是都享受擠出別人肉體上的某種汁液然後淋滿全身。為了致敬他們共同的不傳統癖愛，這次的路線將是在一個遙遠空曠的深處，非常適合引誘毫無戒心的人，來一場意想不到的驚喜，輕鬆煙滅證據，可以隨時把自己暴露在叢林萬物野獸中。 野兔們期待著去享受被大家抓的快感，這一次，他們承諾你會漂浮在晚餐的啤酒浴中。 別忘了把這次的跑步加到人生最想跑的清單中！ ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Shitty Rainbow Cohare 副兔: Floating in Cum ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:B run / 路線：A to B 8 km + Elevation/爬升: 310 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 19 Jan 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* A: Shanjia Railway Landscape Park 山佳鐵道地景公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/QVoBr8uGKcmtPnVq6 B: 鶯歌 玄儒慈惠堂 https://maps.app.goo.gl/fPj4GdewidfU8ptt7 ******HOW? / 怎去******* TRA to Shanjia, return on TRA from Yinge. Trains every 25min, last train 23:28 台鐵到山佳，再從台鐵鶯歌返回。每25分鐘一班。末班火車 23:28 For drivers, it’s suggested to park your car at B point then take a train to Shanjia station. (1 stop-4 mins). There are many parking lots nearby B and it’s also close to Yingge train station. 建議開車的人先將車停在B點，再從鶯歌火車站坐一站(4分鐘)至山佳火車站，B點附近有很多停車場且鄰近鶯歌火車站 time table from Yingge to Shanjia before the run: 起跑前 鶯歌至山佳火車站的時間表 (建議) No. 2164 13:19-> 13:23 No. 1192 13:48-> 13:52 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 紘家餐館 +886282582428 https://maps.app.goo.gl/6N18svyviobSBtey6

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2589 Inquiry

When & Where

January 19, 2025 (2:00 pm) – January 19, 2025 (6:00 pm)

A: Shanjia Railway Landscape Park 山佳鐵道地景公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/QVoBr8uGKcmtPnVq6

December 27, 2023

#2588 – A New Shoe

#2588 - A New Shoe

Details

台灣健龍捷兔 #2588 – 一支新鞋 Not too long ago, in a run start not far away… 在不久的之前，在一個離起跑點不遠處…… Hairless Hero was piloting his tandem scooter, the Formosan Falcon, with his trusty co-hare Jewbacca in the sidecar. The duo was driving fast through Maokong, trying to escape a motorcycle gang, the Tai-Fighters. “Don’t worry,” said Hairless Hero, “we’ll lose them. This scooter can do the 7eleven run in less than 12 parsecs.” “OYYYYYY” roared Jewbacca. The two pulled a fantastic maneuver that was cut from the final movie, and the gang zoomed past them, but the scooter was wrecked in the process. “Bollocks! Now we’re stuck on foot, and I need to deliver the secret route of our run to the trailmasters in time to watch ‘Mr. Bean,’” whined Hairless Hero. “KH-KH-KHHH,” rasped Jewbacca, before he coughed out a latke. Hairless Hero正騎著他的拉風雙人歐兜邁 – 福爾摩沙獵鷹，坐在他側邊車座的是他最值得信賴的副兔Jewbacca。 這對絕命鴛鴦正快速駛過貓空，試圖避開重機黑道星際鈦戰幫。 “放心吧！”Hairless Hero說，“我們會甩掉他們的。 我的福爾摩沙獵鷹上次是在不到12的太空秒距差時間內完成7-11捷兔跑。“噢咿咿咿咿咿～”Jewbacca咆哮著。 兩人就像在完結篇的電影最後一幕，漂亮地完成了一個高難度的特效動作飛出大拐彎，星際鈦戰幫們呼嘯閃過揚長而去。他們安全了，但福爾摩沙獵鷹已被撞壞。 “靠邀！ 現在我們只能用走的，必須趕在我最愛看的豆豆先生開播之前，把我們的秘密路線上交給捷兔路線管理長官們 ，”Hairless Hero抱怨道。 “咔哈哈哈哈哈哈～咔哈哈哈哈哈～，”Jewbacca在咳出猶太薯餅之前說。 The two slowly made their way onwards, not knowing they were being watched. Suddenly before them appeared the most feared hare-catcher in Taipei, wearing a huge, black helmet atop his shirtless, scruffy torso. “Darth Gay! Only you could be so bold,” said Hairless Hero, “When the Hash Committee finds out you tried to steal our run map…” “Don’t be so naive, your royal baldness,” scowled Darth Gay in his heavy, Dutch accent, “I do not need maps to be first man in. I find your lack of faith in my running skills disturbing.” “KHAAA-RAAA,” roared Jewbacca. “You said it, Jewie,” said Hairless Hero. 兩人慢慢地向前走，不知道他們正在被監視。 突然，在他們面前出現了臺北最令人恐懼的捕兔者，他戴著一個巨大的黑色頭盔，赤裸地露出他毛茸茸的胴體。 “Darth Gay!！ 只有你才能如此大膽，”Hairless Hero說，“當捷兔委員會發現你試圖竊取我們的路線地圖時你就完蛋了……” “別這麼天真，禿頭王，”Darth Gay用他氣喘沉重的荷蘭口音皺著眉頭，“我根本不需要知道路線來成為第一名。 你太低估我的跑步技能，笨蛋。” “咔啊啊啊啊～，惹啊啊啊啊～”Jewbacca咆哮道。 “對，你來告訴他真相吧，Jewbacca寶貝，”Hairless Hero說。 Before Darth Gay could pull out his uncut lightsaber, all three were hit by a barrage of tapioca pearls. “It’s the dreaded mercenary, Boba Fat,” screamed Hairless Hero, jumping for cover. “That’s not my name,” replied Going Down from inside a stopped gondola car, as he fired another round of bubble tea bullets. Next to him sat his boss, Mr. Nipply the Hutt, holding an animé slave girl by golden chains. “JY SKULD MY GELD” oozed Nipply in some alien tongue. “He says you owe him hash cash,” translated Darth Gay. “GEEELT” screamed Jewbacca, wielding his Uzi. “Uh oh. Now you’ve made him mad,” said Hairless Hero. Darth Gay還沒來得及拔出他那沒割過包皮的光劍，三人都被一連串黑糖珍珠擊中了。 “這是嚇人的黑色星際僱傭兵，Boba Fat，”Hairless Hero尖叫著，跳起來想找掩護。 “那不是我的名字，”Going Down從一輛停滯的纜車裡回答道，他又發射了一輪黑糖珍珠泡泡子彈。 他旁邊坐著他的老闆Mr. Nipply the Hutt，用金色鐵鏈抱著一個性感的奴隸女孩。 “基絲姑得邁竭耳德” Nipply說著某種外星語言。 Darth Gay 翻譯道：“他說你欠他很多捷兔跑的參加費。” “嘰哩哩哩哩～～”Jewbacca尖叫著，揮舞著他的以色列衝鋒槍。 “呃，完了。 現在你讓他生氣了……”Hairless Hero說。 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Hairless Hero Cohare 副兔: Jewbacca ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:B run / 路線：A to B 7.5 km / Elevation / 爬升: 向上 300M up / 向下 550M down *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 12 Jan 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* A: Maokong Gondola Station/貓空站: https://maps.app.goo.gl/eHRX7Dm2MNEGSXGk7 B: Wanshou Bridge/萬壽橋: https://maps.app.goo.gl/KoQXvuhzgeUQGRt98 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the Gondola or take the 小10 (S10) or 粽15 (BR15) bus to Maokong Gondola Station 纜車或者小10公車或者公車粽15到貓空站 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 敘緣小館 +886229384448 https://maps.app.goo.gl/3dihMAr7EUrdZumr7

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2588 Inquiry

When & Where

January 12, 2025 (2:00 pm) – January 12, 2025 (6:00 pm)

A: Maokong Gondola Station/貓空站: https://maps.app.goo.gl/eHRX7Dm2MNEGSXGk7 B: Wanshou Bridge/萬壽橋: https://maps.app.goo.gl/KoQXvuhzgeUQGRt98

December 27, 2023

#2587 – It Came From O̶u̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶S̶p̶a̶c̶e̶ Taoyuan!

#2587 - It Came From O̶u̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶S̶p̶a̶c̶e̶ Taoyuan!

Details

Being a Hash House Harriers GM is a huge responsibility; a reality that is only now beginning to dawn on our new GM’s, 70% Gay and… sigh… Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie Bitchy Bitchy Wanky Wanky. [Fuck you, Tiny Balls, for changing his name! This takes forever to type!] In order to ease into this transition like a well-lubed banana easing into a well-stretched anus, the two GM’s decided the best thing they can do is maintain the traditions of the previous year… and let Taoyuan Metro Hash do all the work! Once again, it’s Space Man to the rescue, along with Comes From Behind, who will be leading from the front for a change! The new GM of TyMH3 promises this hash will still be a Taiwan Hash to the core. To that end, the hares are leaving the comfy confines of the purple line and taking us all the way to Tamsui, because nothing says “not-Taoyuan Metro” like a run start out where even the Tamsui Light Rail cannot reach. Thanks, hares! We’re so grateful for your sacrifice! Yay! Don’t worry, all these new GMs are bringing some changes, and I don’t just mean requiring protection on any fruits going into anuses. [Thus ending XiaojiJi’s reign of haemorrhoid terror.] For this run, while the starting point is familiar, the trail is brand new! The hares promise a highly runnable route that’s been freshly cut like… like… hmm, do either of our GMs shave their crotch? One probably does, but only 30%, and the other definitely doesn’t: his pubes are as long as his name. [Thus continuing XiaoJiJi’s reign of untrimmed terror… some things never change!] 台灣健龍捷兔 #2587 – 這個跑是來自外太空桃園！ 成為台灣健龍捷兔的會長是一個艱鉅的責任；我們的兩位新會長現在才慢慢意識到這個殘酷的現實：70% Gay 及….（嘆氣）Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie Bitchy Bitchy Wanky Wanky。 [去你媽的Tiny Balls改了人家的名字！ 害我們這些文書光打這些字就浪費了一輩子的時間！] 為了緩和及輕鬆地完成這個交接的過渡期，就像沾滿了潤滑劑的香蕉溫柔地慢慢進入到一個收縮完美緊緻的肛門一樣，兩位會長決定他們能做的最好的事，就是維持前一年的傳統……讓桃園捷運兔來幹所有的活。 又一次，是桃園的兔子Space Man來救援，還有副兔Comes From Behind，雖然他常常從後面的屁眼過來但這次他終於改變會從前面帶頭！ 桃園捷運兔的新會長還承諾這次的路線仍會以我們台灣健龍捷兔的核心地域為主。 為此，桃園野兔們跳脫他們紫色機捷線的舒適圈圈，領我們一路流浪到淡水。因為沒有什麼比連淡水輕軌都無法到達的跑步路線更適合形容“非桃園捷運系統”。 謝謝，桃園野兔們！ 我們真的好感謝你們的犧牲奉獻啊！ 噢耶！ 別擔心，所有的新會長們都為我們帶來了一些改變，我的意思不僅僅只是要求對任何要進入屁眼的水果採取保險套的避孕措施。 [從而結束了XiaoJiJi的痔瘡恐怖統治。] 對於這次跑步，雖然起點很熟悉，但小徑是全新的！ 野兔承諾一條剛剛新鮮修剪出來極度適合野跑的路線，就像……就像……嗯….，我們的會長們會修剪他們毛茸茸的胯下嗎？ 一個可能做到了，但只有30%，另一個肯定沒有：他的陰毛和他的名字一樣長。 [從而又開啟了XiaoJiJi的不刮毛恐怖統治……有些事情永遠不會改變！] ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Space Man Cohare 副兔: Comes from Behind ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 8 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 200 m L: 6.5 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 200 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 5 Jan 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Danshui Yishan Jiying Temple 淡水義山集應廟 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Gu7XHMssm4RqWfXr7 ******HOW? / 怎去******* There are many bus options from MRT Tamsui station and Hongshulin station 淡水捷運站和紅樹林捷運站有很多公車可以選擇 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 大老二石窯雞 +886286317272 https://maps.app.goo.gl/VEZvKJk1ECmkHXWH8

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2587 Inquiry

When & Where

January 5, 2025 (2:00 pm) – January 5, 2025 (6:00 pm)

Danshui Yishan Jiying Temple 淡水義山集應廟 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Gu7XHMssm4RqWfXr7

December 27, 2023

#2586 – The Blind Drunk New Year’s Run

#2586 - The Blind Drunk New Year's Run

Details

“What happened to you?” asked No One Cares, as CSO walked into the table at the restaurant, her eyes covered in bandages. “Nothing, I’m fine! Just some minor eye damage,” said CSO as she sat down in someone else’s lap. “Your chair is on your left. How did you hurt your eyes?” asked No One Cares. “My eyes are fine! I can see great!” said a stubborn CSO, who proceeded to open the menu and read it upside down. “Was it an accident on trail?,” asked No One Cares, caring a bit too much. “Did a bird poop in it? Did you get in a fight with a gangster? Did someone jizz in your…” “Nothing happened,” interrupted CSO, her face turning red, “and this doesn’t change our plans! I will hare the last run of 2024 no matter what! It just may be a bit more city run-ish, that’s all.” She turned to place her order: “I’ll have the chicken, please.” “That’s the garbage man, and this is a fish restaurant,” said No One Cares. “你怎麼了？” 當CSO走進餐廳的桌子時，No One Cares 問道，CSO的眼睛被繃帶覆蓋著。 “沒什麼，我很好！ 只是一些輕微的眼睛損傷，”CSO輕鬆回答，並且一屁股坐在別人的腿上。 “你的椅子在你的左邊啦！ 你的眼睛是怎麼受傷的？” No One Cares 又問。 “我的眼睛很好！ 我能看得很好！” 固執的CSO回答，她打開顛倒的菜單，仔細閱讀。 “這是在路線上出的事故嗎？”No One Cares繼續問，似乎是有點太care了。 “有一隻鳥在妳眼睛裡拉屎嗎？ 還是你和黑幫分子打架了？ 或是有人射在你的……”“什麼都沒有發生，”CSO打斷了她的話，臉漲紅，“這不會改變我們的計劃！ 無論如何，我都會繼續當2024年最後一次的兔子！ 只是路線可能更靠近城市，僅此而已。” 她轉身點餐：“請給我雞肉。” “你正在跟一個收垃圾的人員點菜，而且這是一家魚餐廳，”No One Cares說。 “What about you?,” asked CSO, “Did you arrange what I requested?” “Yes,” said No One Cares, “I bought four bottles of fine sake for the sake check! What a creative way to ring in the new year!” “Excellent! Let me try some! You know CSO stands for ‘Chief Sake Officer,’ yes?” lied the Chief Shit Officer, grabbing a bottle and drinking heavily. “You are drinking hot sauce,” said No One Cares, “Maybe take off the bandage?” “I’m fine! I always drink hot sauce with sake! Now where is that bottle?,” she said, reaching her hand out before… ::crash:: “Great, now there are three bottles,” said No One Cares, “Please, I’m your co-hare, let me help you.” “I said, I’M FINE” shouted CSO, as two white-hot beams of energy shot out from behind the bandages, vaporizing the menu and missing No One Cares by a millimeter. The whole restaurant turned to look as the hare blushed. “Damn,” said CSO, “he told me it wasn’t contagious!” “那妳呢？”CSO問道，“我要求的那些東西妳都準備好了嗎？” “是的，”No One Cares說，“我買了四瓶頂級清酒作為清酒補給站！ 多麼有創意的迎接新年的方式啊！” “太棒了！ 讓我試試！ 妳知道我的名字CSO就是意味著“首席清酒官”，對嗎？” （其實這也可以意味著是首席吃屎官），她抓起一個瓶子，狂飲起來。 “你正在喝的這瓶是辣椒醬耶，”No One Cares說，“也許妳應該摘下繃帶？” “我很好！ 我喝清酒時總是配著辣椒醬！ 現在給我那瓶清酒，在哪？，”她說，伸出手到處尋找……::玻璃破碎::“太好了，現在我們是三瓶清酒了，”No One Cares翻白眼，“拜託，我是你的副兔，讓我來幫你。” “我已經說了，我很好”CSO喊道，兩束白熱的光芒從繃帶後面噴出，連菜單都被光芒射到蒸發，以一毫米的距離錯過了No One Cares。 正當野兔臉紅時，整個餐廳都轉過身來注意。 “該死，”CSO說，“他們告訴我這個傷沒有傳染性！” ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔:CSO Cohare 副兔: No One Cares ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 10 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 10 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, December 29, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Xizhi Sports Center 汐止區綜合運動場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/e4gyg3Rz9G2BMU7U7 ******HOW? / 怎去******* TRA train to Xizhi/台鐵去汐止 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Hao Liaoli Restaurant 好料理餐廳 +886 2 2649 0391 https://maps.app.goo.gl/qoF5XMz6p7K1xvWFA

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2586 Inquiry

When & Where

December 29, 2024 (2:00 pm) – December 29, 2024 (6:00 pm)

Xizhi Sports Center 汐止區綜合運動場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/e4gyg3Rz9G2BMU7U7

December 27, 2023

#2585 – The 2024 Hash-mas Run and Gift Exchange

#2585 - The 2024 Hash-mas Run and Gift Exchange

Details

’Tis the season, hashers! Our penultimate run of the year is the weekend before Hash-mas, which celebrates the day that our scribe and saviour Praying for Man Tits had his first cumming! For this festive occasion, the hares Nanobird and Sucky Fucky $5 have decided to spice up the annual Hash-mas run with a tree-decorating challenge! Scattered along the trail, the hares have littered, I mean, scattered some Christmas decorations. The hounds will be divided into groups, and your task will be to pick up the decorations and find a suitable piece of wood to prepare as your tree. This is totally not just us cleaning up after Nanobird’s drunken pub crawl the night before! Then, at the end of the run, you can add your beer cans as baubles and see which team has the most holiday spirit / consumed the most holiday spirits. Can’t find any branches? Use a hasher! It probably won’t be the first time Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie has had ornaments hanging off his yule log. But wait, there’s more! Like the legendary Hash-nukkah bottle of beer whose contents lasted for eight days, this run keeps delivering! After the run but before down-downs, the venereal, I mean, venerable Mr. Sausage will be barbecuing for us! Think of it as a bonus pre-bash bash! Another Hash-tivus miracle! Like previous years, we also will be doing a White Elephant gift exchange. That means you bring a wrapped gift of something you don’t need (like whatever you got at last year’s gift exchange), and at the end of down-downs whoever brought a gift can take another with them! Who knows what you might get!? Maybe a venereal disease! Wouldn’t be the first time Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie had one of those. On top of all this, the run itself will have what the hares describe as “Christmas Elevation,” with a split for two paths: one for those who are naughty and one for those who are nice! So jingle your Tiny Balls and come one and all to celebrate another successful year of drinking and running! I’d like to close this off with a song. You know the tune. Ready? On the 12th day of Hash-mas, my GMs gave to me: 12 Front-running bastards 11 Harriettes dancing 10 Hashers singing 9 km of shiggy 8 red dresses 7 sprained ankles 6 first time runners 5 PRE-MARKED CHECKS! 4 mystery whips 3 new shoes 2nd Man In and a cooler full of Taiwan Beer! 節慶的季節又到了，Hashers！我們今年的倒數第二次跑步活動將在 Hash-mas 之前的週末舉行，這一天是我們的耶穌 Praying for Man Tits 初次轉大人的日子！為了這個歡樂的場合，Hares Nanobird 和 Sucky Fucky $5 決定在一年一度的 Hash-mas 跑步活動中加入一個聖誕樹裝飾挑戰！沿著路徑，Hares 散布了一些聖誕裝飾品——不，這不是他們喝醉後隨意丟的垃圾哦！參加者將被分成小組，你們的任務是撿起裝飾品並找到一塊合適的木頭，將其打造成你們的樹。最後，還可以把啤酒罐當作裝飾球掛上去，看哪一組最具節日氣氛（或喝得最多）。找不到樹枝？用個 Hasher 當樹也行！對 Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie 來說，這應該不是第一次有人把裝飾品掛在他的「聖誕樹」上吧！ 但是，還有更多驚喜！就像傳說中的 Hash-nukkah光明節啤酒瓶，其內容足足喝了八天，這次的活動同樣精彩連連！跑步結束後，在進行 Down-downs 之前，我們尊敬的 Mr. Sausage 會為大家烤他的大香腸！把它當作一次額外的 Hash-tivus 慶祝吧！與往年一樣，我們還會進行廢物交換禮物活動。記得帶一份包裝好的禮物，最好是你不需要的東西（比如去年交換到的禮物），Down-downs 結束後，凡是帶了禮物的都可以拿一份別人的禮物！誰知道你會拿到什麼呢？或許會是某種「傳染病」！對 Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie 來說，這也不是第一次吧。 除此之外，這次跑步路線還將帶來兔子所說的「聖誕挑戰」，分為兩條路徑：一條是給「頑皮」的，一條是給「乖巧」的！ 所以，搖響你的小蛋蛋，一起來慶祝這一年又一次成功的跑步喝酒吧！最後，讓我用一首歌作結尾。你一定知道旋律，準備好了嗎？ 不知道的看這裡https://youtu.be/1pukI7x-CBM?si=itWeuDuidPFq2T5P 在 Hash-mas 的第十二天，我的 GMs 給了我： 12 個領跑的混蛋 11 個跳舞的 Harriettes 10 個唱歌的 Hashers 9 公里的泥濘路 8 件紅裙子 7 隻扭傷的腳踝 6 個新手跑者 5 個預撒的checks！ 4 個神秘的鞭子 3 雙新鞋子 2nd Man In 還有一個裝滿台灣啤酒的冰桶！ ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Nanobird Cohare 副兔: Sucky Fucky $5 ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 9 km + Christmas Elevation/ 聖誕節爬升 *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, December 22, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Yongchunpi Wetland Park/永春坡生態公園 https://g.co/kgs/hXKLs1j ******HOW? / 怎去******* Metro to Xiangshan/捷運到象山 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* He Ba Re Chao Seafood Restaurant 喝霸熱炒海鮮餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/BPcoS5GqHZQMs2yCA

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2585 Inquiry

When & Where

December 22, 2024 (2:00 pm) – December 22, 2024 (6:00 pm)

Yongchunpi Wetland Park/永春坡生態公園 https://g.co/kgs/hXKLs1j

December 27, 2023

#2584 – The 2024 Taiwan Hash Erection Run

#2584 - The 2024 Taiwan Hash Erection Run

Details

As is tradition, for the Taiwan Hash House Harriers Erection Run, the outgoing and incoming GMs co-hare the trail. Since we now have two GMs per year, that means this year’s erection Run has four hares. Four hares! That’s twice as many! Surely you’ll be able to catch at least one of them! And by “you” I mean Just Gay. Good luck. We’re all counting on you. Double the GMs means two separate routes for double the challenge! The GMs-erect will be haring the ball-breaker route. “But… my balls…” said Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie. “It’ll break the runners’ balls, not yours-,” said 70% Gay, not caring either way. The flaccid and spent GMs will be doing the different but no less challenging ass-breaker route. “Hooray, my ass!” said XiaoJiJi. “Why do you have to make it weird?” whined Tiny Balls. Are we going to miss this dynamic duo? Not at all, but I’ll sure miss making fun of them. Rumor has it there will be a shadowy, anarchic, third pair of hares running in protest. They represent a splinter group of disgruntled, former GMs who reject the duopoly system of Hash government. They long for the days of a single GM, who dutifully gave up an entire year’s worth of Sundays to serve the Hash as an enlightened, Philosopher King. I’m not saying the leader of these monarchists is 2nd Man In, but their manifesto called the current GMs “a bunch of fucking pussies, man,” and was written on the back of a Diplomático Rum label, so draw your own conclusions. Bash Sign-up ($500): https://forms.gle/tPNY3bUFURBuCbZu8 *You can’t Erection Bash if you don’t Erection Run, unless you pre-approve with an exceptionally good reason. 按照傳統，台灣 Hash House Harriers 的交接亂由即將卸任和新任的GM 一起當兔子。現在我們每年有兩位兔子，這意味著今年的交接亂有四隻兔兔。四隻！！是平常的兩倍！你一定能追上至少一隻吧！當然，我說的「你」是指 Just Gay。祝你好運，我們都指望你了。 雙倍的GM也意味著雙條路線，挑戰加倍！新上任的GM們將負責規劃「破蛋路線」。 「蛤？ 我的蛋……」Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie 抱怨道。 「破其他人的蛋，不是你的。」70% Gay 不以為然地說。 而那些卸任的GM們則將負責不同但同樣具有挑戰性的「破屁股路線」。 「萬歲，我的屁股！」小雞雞高呼。 「你為什麼要把這搞得這麼奇怪？」Tiny balls 抱怨道。 我們會想念這對活寶嗎？一點也不會，但我肯定會想念取笑他們的日子。 據說，還有一對神秘的、充滿反叛精神的第三組兔子會以抗議的方式跑完全程。他們是對現有雙GM制不滿的分裂派成員，懷念起單一GM的時代，當時的GM全心奉獻每個星期天，像一位開明的哲學王一樣服務 Hash。我並不是說這些君主制擁護者的領袖是 2nd Man In，但他們的宣言稱現任GM們是「一群沒種的傢伙！」，而且是寫在一張 Diplomático 蘭姆酒標籤的背面，你可以自己去判斷真相。 Bash 報名 ($500): https://forms.gle/tPNY3bUFURBuCbZu8 這場要先來跑步才能參加bash !不能純bash! 除非你有好理由有先跟GM講好 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hares 主兔: 70% Gay, Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie, Tiny Balls, XiaoJiJi ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A TBD *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, December 15, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* TBD; Near Huilong MRT 還沒確定；在迴龍站附近 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Huilong Station, at the end of Orange Line *******PRICE******* Men/Women $200 男女都$200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 雙岩幸福囍事會館 https://maps.app.goo.gl/t1HLPFY81jcDEmBdA Bash Sign-up ($500): https://forms.gle/tPNY3bUFURBuCbZu8

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2584 Inquiry

When & Where

December 15, 2024 (2:00 pm) – December 15, 2024 (6:00 pm)

Zhongshan Park 樹林區三龍公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/yTUVGEDYRN8Wd6bS6?g_st=com.google.maps.preview.copy

December 27, 2023

#2583 – The Pipe Riders

#2583 - The Pipe Riders

Details

It all started with Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie’s weekly efforts to impress Minor Pusher, because apparently being next year’s GM wasn’t enough to convince her to sleep with him again. Having misheard “sexual orientation” as “sexy orienteering,” his plan was to wear a bikini and follow trails he found on mapy.cz that don’t actually exist. What he found made him almost forget his horniness: A virgin area, never before hashed, with incredible views of the west coast, lots of temples, lots of shiggy, lots of runnable areas, old houses, an abandoned bunker, and a massive pipe. When he found the pipe, it was belching steam, but when he looked inside he saw Serial Vapist, puffing up a storm and looking dazed and confused on a pile of empty whiskey bottles and vape cartridges. “Are you here to rescue me, pretty lady?” said Serial Vapist, squinting through the vape clouds. “What are you doing in there?” asked the “lady.” “I was recce-ing a trail, and was distracted by the beautiful cherry blossoms and fell in,” said Serial Vapist. “That was months ago,” the future GM replied, and he threw down his long, blond wig as a rope. “Aw man,” said the Vapist, “I am definitely getting fired from work.” After he escaped, and after he had overcome his disappointment that his rescuer was not a fuckable woman, but a fuckable man, Vapist offered to co-hare the trail the two co-discovered in exchange for Walkie not telling anyone how long they had been fucking before he realized his mistake. Is the opportunity to be the first ever hashers to deflower what may be a contender for trail of the year not enough for you? As a bonus, the two confident hares have promised this run will have a “dubious new gimmick.” What does that mean? What makes it dubious? They are keeping it secret, so I don’t know, but GM Tiny Balls gave it his seal of approval in exchange for Walkie not telling anyone how long they had been fucking before Tiny Balls realized his mistake. 這一切都始於 Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie 每週努力對 Minor Pusher求愛 ，因為顯然擔任明年的GM 並不足以說服她再次和他上床。由於將“性取向”誤聽為“性感定向越野”，他的計劃是穿上比基尼，沿著他在 mapy.cz 上發現的實際上並不存在的踪跡前進。他所發現的一切讓他幾乎忘記了自己未被滿足的性慾：一片從未被跑過的處女地，擁有西海岸令人難以置信的景色，有很多寺廟，有很多雜草的地方，有很多可跑的路，老房子，一個廢棄的基地，還有一個巨大的管道。當他找到這個大管道時，它正在噴出煙霧，但當他向裡面看時，他看到了Serial Vapist，他正狂抽電子煙，對著一堆空威士忌酒瓶和電子煙盒，看上去茫然而困惑。 “美麗的女士，你是來救我的嗎？” Serial Vapist 瞇著眼睛透過煙霧雲說道。 “你在裡面做什麼？” 「女士」問。 「我當時正在探路，被美麗的櫻花吸引了注意力，然後就掉進去了，」Serial Vapist 說。 「那是幾個月前的事了，」未來的GM把長長的金色假髮當作繩子扔了下來。 Vapist 說道，“完蛋了我肯定會被解僱。” 在他逃脫後，他發現救他的不是一個性感的女人，而是一個性感的男人⋯小小失望之後其實覺得也還幹得下去,事後Vapist 提出當他的副兔這個主意，以換取Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie 不告訴任何人他們在山上幹了多久。 成為有機會當選年度最佳路線的機會對您來說還不夠嗎？這兩隻自信的兔子承諾這次跑步將有一個「有趣的新花招」。這意味著什麼？是什麼很令人懷疑？他們保守秘密，所以我不知道，但是tiny balls給了它批准印章，以換取Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie 不告訴任何人在tiny balls 跟Vapist一樣分不清男女而在意識到他的錯誤之前他們已經幹了多久 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Walkie Walkie Talkie Talkie Cohare 副兔: Serial Vapist ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: ~7km + 200m elevation gain L: ~9km + 300m elevation gain *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, December 8, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 天寶殿 https://maps.app.goo.gl/xzZdxrvdE6cjy5U86 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Transport options in order of how good they are: * 868 bus from Danshui MRT, 1:08pm, get off at Bihu lake at 1:23pm, flour from there (15 min walk) * 631 bus from Danshui MRT, 12:38pm, get off at Bihu lake at 12:53pm * F101 shuttle from Danshui MRT, 1:19pm, get off at Baishijao at 1:37pm, 5 minute walk. But it’s a shuttle, not much space. High risk. *Taxi pool from Beitou is also a good option. *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 168海鮮熱炒餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/MinTuQjmcovyg1HN9

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2583 Inquiry

When & Where

December 8, 2024 (2:00 pm) – December 8, 2024 (6:00 pm)

天寶殿 https://maps.app.goo.gl/xzZdxrvdE6cjy5U86

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