December 2024 – Taiwan Hash House Harriers

Monthly Archives: December 2024

December 24, 2024

#2640 – Garmin Terminator: The Man Tits Chronicles

#2640 - Garmin Terminator: The Man Tits Chronicles

Details

BROOKLYN, NEW YORK JAN. 11, 2001 Bolts of electricity crackled in the space between two lampposts. A dark portal from the future spiraled open. With a flash, two robots spawned into being. Garmin Terminator, naked and muscular on the hot tarmac, and the JustRolla 500, a state-of-the-art Flour Disbursal Unit. They scanned the shocked and quietly aroused New Yorkers gathering around them. “BEEP! How about we get you some clothes and boots?” said the JustRolla. “Negative,” replied Garmin Terminator. “We proceed with the mission: terminate the Taiwan Hash GM before he reaches adulthood. Scan 100 meters in all directions. He’s nearby.” “BEEP! CHECKING!” replied JustRolla, her dosing spout depositing a mound of flour onto the sidewalk. Down the street, Praying For Man Tits waited at the bus stop, feeding his Tamagochi. His life was about to turn upside down. 紐約-布魯克林 2001.1.11 兩盞路燈之間電流狂竄，閃得像有人在偷接電表。一個來自未來、違反所有酒後物理定律的黑色時空洞，硬生生在布魯克林街頭打開。啪！兩個東西出現了。一個是Garmin Terminator——全裸、爆肌的完美身材，站在滾燙的柏油路另一個是 Just Rolla 500——一台最先進的麵粉投放機圍觀的紐約客震驚、沉默，並且有點奇怪地被撩到了。「嗶！要不要先找點衣服穿？至少鞋子？」Just Rolla 語氣貼心。「不用了!。」Garmin Terminator 冷冷地說，「任務第一。終極目標：在台灣哈希會長成長茁壯之前終結他。掃描一百公尺。那傢伙就在附近。」「嗶！掃描中！」Just Rolla 一邊回應，一邊很 Hash 地直接在路邊灑了一大坨麵粉，完全沒管 trail 合不合理。就在同一條街上，Praying For Man Tits 正站在公車站，專心餵他的電子雞。他不知道——這將是他最後一次過著「還不是會長」的平凡人生。 *** NEIHU, TAIWAN JAN. 11 2026 Hairless Hero is bravely entertaining the hashers with a selection of sci-fi themed Down Downs. The GM is inexplicably absent, and he isn’t checking his Facebook messages. “Don’t sweat, folks. I’ve got some 90s film references that will blow your socks off!” he says, desperately. “Boo!” says literally everyone. “Where is Praying For Man Tits? We need our GM!” Hairless Hero realizes the only force strong enough to keep the GM from his beloved Taiwan Hash is his arch nemesis: Garmin Terminator. Ducking tomatoes and beer cans, he runs to the parking lot. 內湖-台灣 2026.1.11 Hash 現場一片混亂。 Hairless Hero 正硬著頭皮撐場，帶著一堆「其實只有他自己覺得好笑」的科幻主題噹噹。GM 不見了!Line 不讀不回。Facebook完全沒上線。這在哈希裡基本等同世界末日。「別擔心啦各位！」Hairless Hero 笑得非常心虛，「我還有一堆 90 年代電影梗，保證讓你們——」「噓噓噓噓噓噓噓噓~~~~~~~~~」全場一致，毫不留情表達著不滿。「我們要會長！」「Praying For Man Tits 在哪？」 Hairless Hero 突然靈光一閃。唯一能讓 GM 消失的存在——只有那個傳說中的宿敵：Garmin Terminator。在番茄、啤酒罐、還有不知道誰丟的舊哈希 T-shirt 攻擊下，Hairless Hero 轉身狂奔，衝向停車場。 *** BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, AGAIN JAN. 11, 2001 As Praying For Man Tits searched for his bus pass, he looked up to see a totally ripped mandroid and what looked like a minifridge sprinting straight towards him. A Ford Fiesta screeched to a halt at the bus stop. “Get in, GM!” said Hairless Hero. ‘GM’? Praying For Man Tits looked back at the gun-wielding guy-borg. This wasn’t time to ask questions. He ran towards the bald stranger’s car, just as a shotgun shell ripped through his backpack, exploding in a cloud of Pokémon cards and D20s. Man Tits scrambled into the passenger seat, and Hairless Hero put his foot down. “You okay, kid?” “Zoiks! I think so. Who are those hunks of metal? And where are you taking me?” “That was Garmin Terminator and the JustRolla 500. They wanna blow your brains out. I’m taking you to 2026.” “Will we be safe there?” “That bro-bot and his sidekick are sure to follow, but don’t worry. Reinforcements will be waiting for us. Soon the hunters will become the hunted.” “These reinforcements… Are they your army or something?” “No kid. They’re yours.” *** 又回到紐約-布魯克林 2001.1.11 Praying For Man Tits 正低頭找他的公車票。一抬頭——一個全裸猛男機器人，和一台像是迷你冰箱的東西，正朝他狂奔而來。這畫面非常不合理，而且非常不妙。一輛福特嘉年華尾急煞在公車站前。「快上車，會長！」Hairless Hero 大吼。「會長？」 Praying For Man Tits 來不及細想，因為 Garmin Terminator 已經舉起武器。砰！霰彈槍子彈直接打穿他的背包。寶可夢卡、20面骰，在空中炸開。「靠北——！」Man Tits 一個翻滾跳進副駕駛座，Hairless Hero 油門踩到底。「你還活著嗎，小子？」「應該吧！剛剛那是什麼鬼？那兩個是誰？」「Garmin Terminator，還有 JustRolla 500。他們想殺你。」「為什麼？」「因為你未來會成為台灣哈希會長。」「……蛤？」「我們要去 2026。」「那裡安全嗎？」「不安全，但至少有酒、有哈希、還有人會幫你。」 Praying For Man Tits 吞了口口水。「那些援軍……是你的部隊？」 Hairless Hero 咧嘴一笑。「不是，小子。」「那是你的哈希。」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Garmin Terminator Cohare 副兔: Just Rolla ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 430 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 11 Jan 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 內溝溪觀景涼亭 https://maps.app.goo.gl/GpeVpCejZrmEJKcR6 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Nangang then Bus 281 to Nanliao then walk to the run start 捷運南港站然後公搭車小1到奇頭然後走到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBD

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2640 Inquiry

When & Where

January 11, 2026 (2:00 pm) – January 11, 2026 (2:00 pm)

內溝溪觀景涼亭 https://maps.app.goo.gl/GpeVpCejZrmEJKcR6

December 24, 2024

#2641 – Avatar 4: Cumobtanium

#2641 - Avatar 4: Cumobtanium

Details

Just Mark held still as Serial Vapist lowered the VR headset over his eyes. “Prepare yourself, buddy. You’re about to cohare the first full immersion VR Hash,” said Serial Vapist, his voice muffled by the integrated noise canceling headphones penetrating Just Mark’s earholes. Just Mark 一動也不動地站著，任由 Serial Vapist 把 VR 頭盔慢慢罩到他臉上。「準備好了嗎，老兄？你即將成為副兔史上第一個全沉浸式 VR 哈希。」 Serial Vapist 說，聲音被那副內建降噪、還很用力塞進 Just Mark 耳洞裡的耳機搞得悶悶的。 “Were the straps really necessary?” Just Mark called out. “You don’t want to act out the simulation in real life.” Serial Vapist let out a chuckle, but it sounded fake. Just Mark felt something cover his mouth. Duct tape? “Just part of the haptic interface,” Vapist’s voice whispered. His voice was in the earpieces now. “Breathe easy, my yawntutsyìp.” 「呃……真的有必要把我綁成這樣嗎？」Just Mark 喊道。「你不會想把模擬內容帶到現實生活裡演出。」 Serial Vapist 乾笑了一聲——假到不行。 Just Mark 感覺有東西貼上他的嘴。膠帶？「這只是觸覺介面的一部分。」Vapist 的聲音在他耳機裡低聲說，「放輕鬆呼吸，我的小美人。」 Darkness. Silence. Then a world flickered into life before Mark’s eyes. A trail unlike any on Earth. Knotted, throbbing vines hung heavy across trees as tall as skyscrapers. A dirt path winded gently downhill, begging to be run upon. “This is magic!” Just Mark thought to himself. He looked down to check out his body, but it was gone. In its place, a weird blue horse. 黑暗。寂靜。接著，世界在他眼前亮了起來。一條地球上從未存在過的路線。粗壯、糾結、微微搏動的藤蔓垂掛在摩天大樓般高的樹上。一條土路緩緩向下蜿蜒，彷彿在低聲說：來跑我啊。「這也太魔幻了吧！」Just Mark 在心裡吶喊。他低頭想看看自己的身體——沒有了。取而代之的，是一匹詭異的藍色馬。 His arms had become muscular forelegs. His hands were now hooves of insensate keratin. He tried to reach up and feel his long face, his tiny laterized eyes, the two long antennae growing out of his head, but instead he reared onto his hind legs. He tried to curse, but the words would not form themselves, and came out as a bestial roar. He landed on all fours again. Before him stood Serial Vapist, his skin a bright azure, his eyes huge and reptilian. “He’s one of those fucking Avatars!” thought Mark, “That creep has turned me into his fucking nerdhorse…” “Pa’li! Oeng tsaheyl sìyi,” said Serial Vapist, walking towards Mark with reins and bridle in his hand. Mark tried to turn and run, but he was clumsy in his new body. He fell heavily into the alien dust. 他的手臂變成結實的前腿；雙手變成毫無知覺的角質蹄子。他想摸摸自己那張拉長的臉、那對小小側向的眼睛、還有頭上冒出來的兩根長觸角—— 結果卻直接後腳站立。他想罵髒話，卻只發出一聲野獸般的嘶吼。他重重落回四肢著地。眼前站著 Serial Vapist——皮膚亮藍、眼睛巨大又像爬蟲類。「靠……他是那種該死的阿凡達！」 Mark 心想，「那個變態把我變成他的宅宅藍馬了……」「Pa’li! Oeng tsaheyl sìyi。」Serial Vapist 一邊說，一邊拿著韁繩和馬勒走向他。 Mark 想轉身逃跑，但新身體完全不聽使喚，一個踉蹌，臉朝下摔進外星塵土裡。 “Syor… Tìng oe ngeyä tswin!” the blue Vapist declared, standing over Mark. From this angle, his loincloth was at best insufficient. Mark couldn’t even close his eyes as Serial Vapist’s legs wrapped around his thick neck. He felt Vapist’s braid seek out the antennae on his own head. They intertwined like mating snakes. Mark felt his identity disappearing. “Is this what hashing is?” he thought, as Vapist’s memories, mostly of erotic Avatar fan-fiction and Czech New Wave cinema, flooded his head. Vapist’s carnal desires became his own. He rose, with his new master perched atop his back. Vapist kicked his flank and tugged his mane. “Pa’li! Tul nìwin!” Vapist shouted. Just Mark understood now. Vapists thoughts were his thoughts. He galloped down the trail as fast as he could. Soon the hounds would follow. 「放輕鬆⋯ 給我你的辮子！」藍色 Vapist 站在他上方宣告。從這個角度看，那塊纏腰布怎麼看都防護不足。 Mark 連閉眼都辦不到，Serial Vapist 的雙腿已經夾住他粗壯的脖子。他感覺 Vapist 的辮子尋找著自己頭上的觸角——兩者纏繞在一起，像正在交配的蛇。 Mark 感覺自我正在消失。「這……就是哈希嗎？」Vapist 的記憶湧入他的腦海—— 大多是色情版阿凡達同人文，還有捷克新浪潮電影。 Vapist 的慾望，變成了他的慾望。他站了起來，新主人騎在他背上。Vapist 踢了踢他的側腹，拉扯他的鬃毛。「跑快點！恐馬」Vapist 大吼。 Just Mark 懂了。Vapist 的想法，就是他的想法。他沿著路線狂奔起來，速度快到不能再快。很快地，獵犬們就會追上來。 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Serial Vapist Cohare 副兔: Just Mark ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7.5 km + Elevation / 爬升: 300 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 18 Jan 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Tianmu Park 天母公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/BLLTvnkz2fBrvMkm6 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Shipai then take any of multiple buses (508, S36, 224, etc) then walk to A point 捷運石牌站然後可以搭很多公車（508， S36，224，等等）然後走路到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Cyclamen Garden Seafood Restaurant 仙客來海鮮庭園餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/LjK92j5YghXekT4z7

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2641 Inquiry

When & Where

January 18, 2026 (2:00 pm) – January 18, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Tianmu Park 天母公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/BLLTvnkz2fBrvMkm6

December 24, 2024

#2630 – Down Island 2025

#2630 - Down Island 2025

Details

SIGN UP: https://forms.gle/eFPt3uPBoRWKEue56 Pack your bags and grab your butts, because Down Island 2025 is finally announced, I mean, finally here! “I thought it was going to be Up Island this year?” said some asshole. Well, our GMs tried, but it turns out Northern Taiwan is full of People, and People don’t like it when over a hundred loud, drunken, half-naked hashers make noise all night long. Thus, the GMs did what every good GM does when their down-down ideas flop: stall and wait for a mystery whip. WWTTBBWW bitched and wanked, and 70% Gay blamed un-harmonious agitators for disrupting her Great Leap Upward. Luckily, Homersexual came to the rescue, with an absolute beauty of a venue in Hengshan, Hsinchu. So it’s Down Island, but just barely! 收拾行李、拍拍屁股，因為南島亂奔 2025 終於成了，我是說，終於來啦！！！「我還以為今年是說要弄北島往上走？」某些不知名不重要的混蛋們竊竊私語。欸，我們的會長們確實盡力嘗試還去了場勘，但後來發現北邊上面那裡的人民太多了，而那些特定的勞動階級人民並不喜歡一百多個吵鬧、醉醺醺、半裸的捷兔跑者整晚亂叫亂吼。於是，我們的會長做了每個好會長都會做的事：擺爛，然後插著腰等待奇蹟出現。WWTTBBWW 一邊打手槍一邊抱怨，70% Gay 則怪罪那些破壞她大躍進勞改計畫的不和諧不配合分子。好哩加在，Homersexual來了個英勇救場絕地重生，在新竹橫山找到了一個超讚的秘境。終於我們有南島亂奔了，好啦很勉強的南到了新竹。 Make the short trip down, and you’ll be rewarded with two firsthand glorious trails from some of our most experienced hares. On Saturday you can get sticky with Maple Semen and Cums Once a Year. with that night ending with a massive catered bash. Joining Homersexual on the Sunday run is Village Idiot, on an A-to-B run that ends at another bash. 快點往南跑一趟吧！保證不虛此行。快來收割兩條由資深兔子們帶領的全新第一手精彩路線，跟任何之前橫山路線都不重複，處女等級的新鮮。星期六，可以跟著 Maple Semen 還有他的副兔Cums Once a Year 玩得黏黏噠噠，晚上還有一場大型包場晚宴派對等著你！星期天，主兔Homersexual 將與 Village Idiot 一同帶隊進行史詩般的全新神秘AB點路線，迎面而來的終點又是另一場慶典及豐盛晚餐！ Our special midnight run and morning hangover runs will make appearances too! The hotel itself is titanic, more like an amusement park secluded in the mountains where nobody can hear you scream with joy, and we’re renting out the whole space! The space is made for adventure sports. Paintball? Climbing Wall? Are you crazy? No, we can’t afford the insurance! Just drink and run, geez! 當然，經典的午夜跑和宿醉晨跑也不會缺席！這次的飯店超級無敵大，根本就像是藏在山裡的遊樂園，沒人能聽到你歡樂尖叫。我們幾乎是包下整個場地，狂歡不怕吵！只怕喉嚨叫不破。場地本身設計就是給冒險活動用的：那裡有漆彈場、攀岩牆…….靠邀你是不是瘋啦？保險費我們付不起啦！你就乖乖跑步加喝酒吧，拜託！ To make your life even easier, we are renting a bus! Included in your ticket for Down Island is a bus departing Taipei Main Station down to the hotel on Friday, and returning from the B-point Sunday. Will the driver hate us after this? Will he try to swing an axe at Tiny Balls? Almost certainly yes! So don’t delay: regsiter today! 特別設計讓你有一個輕鬆人生，我們這次也包了遊覽車！你沒看錯，這次南島亂奔的票價包含了所有的交通費：星期五晚上從台北車站出發，直達飯店；星期天載我們AB點這邊那邊最後還平安送回台北。司機會不會最後恨死我們？會不會拿斧頭砍 Tiny Balls？答案幾乎可以肯定是會的！所以別猶豫，快點報名吧！ Special thanks to the Hash Cash for doing so much behind the scenes work to make Down Island 2025 possible, and a big shout out to Eggs Donor, who went out of her way to help organize so much, with Sperm Donor helping too. 特別感謝 Hash Cash 在幕後辛苦打理一切，讓南島亂奔2025夢想成真；還要熊熊地感謝 Eggs Donor 在幕後幫忙處理一堆事情，Sperm Donor 也出了不少力按摩Egg Donor！這麼棒的安排，還不快點報名！ **WHO? / 誰?** Saturday: Hare 主兔: Maple Semen Cohare 副兔: Cums Once a Year Sunday: Hare 主兔: Homersexual Cohare 副兔: Village Idiot **WHAT? / 蝦咪** Saturday: A:B run / 路線：A to A [x] km + Elevation: [x] m / 爬升: [x] m Sunday: A:B run / 路線：A to B [x] km + Elevation: [x] m / 爬升: [x] m **WHEN / 啥時** Last Weekend of October (10/31-11/2) 十月的最後一個週末 (10/31-11/2) **TENTATIVE SCHEDULE / 暫定行程** 10/31 (Friday) 18:30 | Meet at Taipei Main Station 北車集合 19:00 | Buses OFF! 遊覽車準時出發 21:15 | Arrive at DI venue 抵達萬瑞森林樂園 22:00 | Welcome party 破冰派對 11/1 (Saturday) 8:40-11:00 | Hotel breakfast 早餐 9:00 | Hangover run 宿醉晨跑 14:00 | Hares off! 兔子起跑 17:00 | Down Down 噹噹 18:00 | Catering bash 晚宴 22:00 | Party 什麼都可以慶祝的派對 11:59 | 午夜跑 11/2 (Sunday) 8:40-11:00 | Hotel breakfast 早餐 11:00 | Hotel check out 退房 11:30 | Buses off to run point A 遊覽車出發去A點 13:00 | Hares off! 兔子起跑 16:00 | Down Down 噹噹 17:00 | bash 晚宴 19:00 | Buses off to Taipei 遊覽車回台北 20:30 | back to Taipei 抵達台北 **WHERE / 哪兒** Wanruey Resort 萬瑞森林樂園 **HOW? / 怎去** Taiwan Hash buses!!! 台灣健龍捷兔專屬遊覽車 **PRICE** Four-person room | $6200 Two-person room | $6900 四人房 | $6200 雙人房 | $6900

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https://forms.gle/eFPt3uPBoRWKEue56

When & Where

October 31, 2025 (2:00 pm) – November 2, 2025 (6:00 pm)

Wanruey Resort 萬瑞森林樂園

December 24, 2024

#2631 – The looong looong ruuuuuuuun!

#2631 - The looong looong ruuuuuuuun!

Details

Hello, friends! Are you tired of finishing early and waiting for the walkers and short-runners to cross the finish line? Do you wish the beer checks had more to offer than beer, and always drink several cans and leave nothing for the latecomers? Does the phrase “half-marathon” make your genitals engorged? If so, then you are going to love this weekend’s run… you race-ist cunts! 哈囉各位朋友～你是不是常常跑太快，結果只能在終點乾等那些他媽的走路派跟選擇短路線卻又慢慢晃進來的笨蛋們？你是不是也希望啤酒補給站不要只提供啤酒，而且能讓每個人喝超過一瓶的限制，甚至不要讓晚到的人連個屁都沒有？還是你一聽到「半馬」這兩個字，下半身就開始燥熱蠢蠢欲動（？）以上如果有中到你的點，那你絕對不能錯過這週末的跑跑，你們這些天殺的熱血跑者（或應該稱呼為……跑步狂魔）！ This week, Claw Hand and Sperm Daddy are taking hashing to new lengths. The short is a perfectly reasonable 8-9km, and the long is a whopping 20km! Where’s Just Gay when we need him? It should go without saying, but walkers: please take the short this week. We don’t want to have to search 20km for you in the dark. Some of us have work on Monday! 本週的兔兔是由 Claw Hand 跟 Sperm Daddy 帶我們捷兔跑出一個新長度一個新的世界等級！短程大概是 8～9 公里，算很合理啦，但長程直接尬到 20 公里！靠腰喔，Just Gay 這時候人在哪？我們這週真的有夠需要他的耶。不過還是要提醒一下：走路派及軟腳派請乖乖選擇短路線。沒有人想天黑還在山裡找人，大家週一還要上班欸！ To keep you fueled up, the hares have planned, not [just] beer, but food checks! One on the short, and three on the long. Hot food and desserts! How do scallion pancakes, Keelung oil rice, and taro balls sound? Sound good? And if I told you that they were free? Does that sound even better? If so, then take the long, and enjoy the generosity of our hares! If you’re planning to take the short and are worried there won’t be any taro balls for you, fret not: Sperm Daddy says he has some balls for you to suck on! 為了補充你們的體力，這次的兔兔們不只有準備啤酒，還設計了超豐盛的食～物～補～給～站！短路線有一站，長路線直接三站。有熱食、有甜點，吃好吃滿！蔥油餅、基隆油飯、芋圓，聽起來是不是超讚？而且，通通兔子們請客！你沒聽錯，感恩兔兔、讚嘆兔兔！所以想吃就來挑戰長路線，感受一下野兔們滿滿誠意與熱情！可是你要是跑短路線又怕吃不到芋圓的話怎麼辦？沒關係，Sperm Daddy 說，他還有別的蛋蛋可以給你吸喔（自己體會）。 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Claw Hand Cohare 副兔: Sperm Daddy ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:B run / 路線：A to B L: 20 km + Elevation/爬升: 750 m S: 8.5 km + Elevation/爬升: 350 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 9 Nov 2025 Time: Hares off at 11:00 兔子十一點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* A: Jieyukeng Fude Palace A點：傑魚坑福德宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/y4oaaEaQCawJ5r19A B: Ruifang Sports Park B點：瑞芳運動公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/VjzCXtaYavRSyMTb6 ******HOW? / 怎去******* TRA Train to Ruifang then walk to Run Start or Take Buses 1061 or 1062 to Run Start 台鐵到瑞芳站然後走步到A點或者公車1061或1062到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* DIY

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2631 Inquiry

When & Where

November 9, 2025 (10:00 am) – November 9, 2025 (6:00 pm)

A: Jieyukeng Fude Palace A點：傑魚坑福德宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/y4oaaEaQCawJ5r19A B: Ruifang Sports Park B點：瑞芳運動公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/VjzCXtaYavRSyMTb6

December 24, 2024

#2632 – The 40 Years of Bullseye Run

#2632 - The 40 Years of Bullseye Run

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Somewhere in Germany, legendary hasher, sausage lover, and international man of mystery, Bullseye, is drinking at the Hashbräuhaus Beer Hall with his fellow Taiwan-loving German Hashers: Hitler’s Missing Testicle, Dr. Binlang, Dr. Anal Technology, Limp of Shame, and half of Mexican Handjob. “It is almost your 40th runniversary,” said Dr. Anal Technology. Indeed, Bullseye has been running for over 40 years, before which he exclusively traveled the world by crawling on his belly like an inchworm. 在德國某個角落，號稱捷兔傳奇、同時也是大香腸愛好者，那個最神秘的國際級人物 Bullseye，正在德式啤酒屋裡，和幾個愛台兔友一起暢飲：Hitler’s Missing Testicle、Dr. Binlang、Dr. Anal Technology以及Limp of Shame。「欸，再過不久就是你的四十週年慶了耶，」Dr. Anal Technology說。沒錯，Bullseye 竟然已經跑捷兔跑了四十年了。在他開始用兩條腿跑步之前，他環遊世界的方式都是匍匐像毛毛蟲那樣扭扭扭。 “Yes, and as soon as Oktoberfest is over, my suitcase full of European Hash shirts and I will fly back to Taiwan, and I’ll celebrate by haring a run for my favorite kennel, China Hash,” said Bullseye. “It’s Taiwan Hash now,” corrected Dr. Binlang. “Bah, you young hashers with your complicated down-downs and complicated names,” whined Bullseye, “what was wrong with simple hash names like ‘Bullseye’ or ‘Hippo’ or ‘DingBuDong’ or ‘Butt’? I tell you, running was much better back in the good old days!” “We just call them ‘the old days’ here,” said Hitler’s Missing Testicle, nervously. 「是啊，等十月啤酒季結束後，我就要帶著我那一整箱在歐洲跑捷兔的酷炫T恤飛回台灣，還要親自設計一條路線跑跑來慶祝回歸，這都是打算獻給我最最最愛的捷兔團——China Hash，」Bullseye 說道。「咳咳，現在叫 Taiwan 得又複雜，現在連取個兔名也都繞口難唸，」Bullseye 抱怨說，「以前簡單的兔名不好嗎？像是 ‘Bullseye’、‘Hippo’、‘DingBuDong’ 或 ‘Butt’？我跟你說，以前那些光榮的捷兔才叫真正的捷兔啊！」「在我們這裡，我們只叫那種時代為『逝去的古早』，」Hitler’s Missing Testicle 緊張但仍不忘補了一句。 “Excuse me, meinen Herren,” said the waiter suddenly, “but do you know this woman?” Behind him stood an embarrassed Doppelbänger. “We found her outside, peeping into the men’s room and rubbing her Fleischvorhänge.” “老太婆, what are you doing here?,” asked Bullseye. “You’re the oldest one here, you old monster!,” countered Doppelbänger, but she felt better when they offered her a beer, a sausage, and a seat on Limp of Shame’s lap. “To 40 more years,” said Bullseye, “and when one Taiwanese drinks, all Taiwanese drink!” 這時，服務生突然走過來：「不好意思，先生們，請問你們認識這位小姐嗎？」他身後站著一臉尷尬的 Doppelbänger。「她剛剛一邊在男廁外偷窺，一邊還在那揉她的該邊肉。」「老太婆你怎麼在這？」Bullseye 嚇一跳問。「你才是這裡最老的好嗎？你這隻老妖怪！」Doppelbänger奧嘟嘟回嘴。不過當大家遞給她一杯啤酒、一根香腸，還讓她坐在 Limp of Shame 的大腿上之後，她馬上開心起來。「為了再跑四十年，乾啦！」Bullseye舉杯，「德國人總是說：一個台灣人喝，全台灣人一起喝！讚啦！」 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Bullseye Cohare 副兔: DingBuDong ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 250 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 16 Nov 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 湖興土雞山莊茶藝館 https://maps.app.goo.gl/H4ripBu61rtZ3LhU8 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Xindian then bus GR3 or 849 捷運新店站然後搭公車綠3或849 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 湖興土雞山莊茶藝館 https://maps.app.goo.gl/H4ripBu61rtZ3LhU8

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2632 Inquiry

When & Where

November 16, 2025 (2:00 pm) – November 16, 2025 (6:00 pm)

湖興土雞山莊茶藝館 https://maps.app.goo.gl/H4ripBu61rtZ3LhU8

December 24, 2024

#2633 – Lara Crotch and the Temple of Poon

#2633 - Lara Crotch and the Temple of Poon

Details

We join our heroine, the globetrotting grave robber and necrophiliac Lara Crotch, on a perilous expedition in the jungles of Xingyi. Having hacked her way through vine and bramble, narrowly escaping disaster in rushing rivers and along crumbling rock faces, she thought she finally reached a checkpoint. Alas, as she sprinted towards a safe spot, she slipped on a pile of wolf shit and tumbled down a ravine. “Ow, my leg!” she cried. “Also, I thought there are no wolves in Taiwan?” 㯍㯍！我們的蓋世女英雄，那個全世界亂跑、看到古墓就手癢、還有著嚴重戀屍情節的Lara Crotch，這週來到了行義路上開始了她刺激的叢林冒險。她披荊斬棘、穿越藤蔓與荊棘，驚險躲過湍急河流與崩裂的岩壁，好不容易以為抵達一處檢查標記。沒想到，就在她奔向安全點時，一腳踩在一大坨狼屎上，整個人摔進山谷裡。「嗚啊，我的腿！」她慘叫道。「台灣怎麼還會有狼啊？」 “Don’t worry, my little egg. I’ll rescue you!” said a voice from above. Lara Crotch looked up. There, framed by the glowing rays of the sun, was her role model, the courageous Kiwi explorer Slobbo Tamer, and her sideburned sidekick TeenVolf! “My hero,” said a starstruck Lara Crotch after being rescued, “but with my leg hurt, how will I be able to hare my upcoming run?” “Don’t worry, my poppet,” said Slobbo Tamer, “I will be your co-hare! It’ll be the best run of the year. If not… then we’ll get everyone so drunk they won’t be able to remember if it wasn’t the best run of the year!” 「別怕，我的小蛋餅，我來救妳！」上面突然傳來一個充滿氣勢的聲音。Lara Crotch往上一看，只見逆光中站著她的偶像，勇敢無敵的紐西蘭奇異果探險家Slobbo Tamer，旁邊跟著鬢角濃到可以過濾咖啡的搭檔TeenVolf。被救起來後，Lara Crotch少女心大爆發：「我的英雄～～～但是我腿已經壞掉了，我該怎麼跑這次的路線呢？」「別怕啦，我的小可愛，」Slobbo Tamer拍拍胸口，「我來當妳的副兔！這將會是今年最厲害最棒的跑跑。如果不是……帶著大家喝到爛就好啦！大家喝ㄎㄧㄤ了就不會記得這場跑跑到底是不是今年之最。」 With that, Slobbo Tamer turned and marched forward, when she slipped on a puddle of wolf cum and fell into another ravine. “Ow, my leg!” she cried, “Also, I thought there are no wolves in Taiwan?” “Now what?” asked Lara Crotch, after rescuing her idol. “I guess TeenVolf will be your co-hare of record,” said Slobbo Tamer, limping, “but I still want credit!” “Great! Now, let’s get off this rock before anyone else breaks a leg,” said Lara Crotch. “You two klutzes go on ahead,” said TeenVolf, “I need to re-mark my territory.” 話剛說完，Slobbo Tamer轉身大步一跨，一腳踩在一灘狼精上，立刻滑進另一個山谷。「喔靠靠靠，我的腿啦！」她哀號。「還有我說真的，台灣到底哪來的狼啦？」Lara Crotch把她偶像再度撈起來後：「那現在怎麼辦？」Slobbo Tamer一拐一拐地說：「看來TeenVolf才是妳正式的副兔了！但我還是要掛名，這一切都是我的功勞耶！」「行行行！走啦！再不走等一下會變成行義路骨折三人組。」Lara Crotch說。TeenVolf揉揉鬢角：「妳們兩個先走吧，我要去重新在我的地盤上撒撒野，不然我的真傳都被妳們摔到沒有了。」 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Lara Crotch Cohare 副兔: TeenVolf ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 250 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 23 Nov 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Xingyi Park, Shipai 行義公園, 石牌 https://maps.app.goo.gl/9YFuWYyETyYjEA2K8 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Shipai then there are many bus options to the run start or ubike 捷運石牌站然後搭公車或騎Youbike到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Cyclamen Garden Seafood Restaurant 仙客來海鮮庭園餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/jhQdqYRUNjqum7HUA

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2633 Inquiry

When & Where

November 23, 2025 (2:00 pm) – November 23, 2025 (6:00 pm)

Xingyi Park, Shipai 行義公園, 石牌 https://maps.app.goo.gl/9YFuWYyETyYjEA2K8

December 24, 2024

#2634 – The Slot Strikes Back Run

#2634 - The Slot Strikes Back Run

Details

台灣健龍捷兔 #2634 – 紐西蘭獵狗他媽的強勢回歸亂 SPECIAL RUN – SPECIAL BASH *Happy Birthday F*ck You and F*ck Off* – The run will be A to A+. – There will be an MRT section. – Bring your yoyo card or 20NT, or join Comes Once a Year in racing the train. We may have to rename him “Comes Faster than a Train.” CRAFT BEER BAR BASH. – 450NT, craft beer & homecooked food & bread. – Bring your own utensils (bowl/plate/spoon) – Sign up required, 25 people limit. There will be a Bash Me post. In last week’s episode, fearless explorer and Mother of Hounds, Slobbo Tamer, had graciously allowed her partner and pup, TeenVolf, to co-hare for Lara Crotch after injuring her leg. Now it was her turn to hare, with a red-line run at Tamsui. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?,” asked TeenVolf, combing his sideburns, “the doctor said you still need to recover.” “Pff, what do those non-hasher doctors know? I wanted a second opinion, so I asked Dr. Vagina-Face, and he said I’m good to go,” said Slobbo Tamer. “Maybe get a third opinion?” worried TeenVolf. 在上週的精彩跑跑故事中，因為腳受傷，那位無所畏懼探險家，人稱獵狗們他媽的Slobbo Tamer慷慨地讓她的伴侶兼小狼狗TeenVolf代替她的位置做了Lara Crotch的副兔。這週，卻是真正輪到她當野兔，要在淡水捷運紅線做一條路線。「妳確定妳這週可以跑嗎？可是醫生不是說妳還需要休息復原？」TeenVolf 一邊梳著他濃密粗厚的鬢角一邊問。「哈囉？那些不知道也沒有跑捷兔的醫生們懂什麼？我已經跟Dr. Vagina Face 再次確認了，他說我早就可以跑了！」Slobbo Tamer不以為意地回答。「呃，也許……要不要再多問幾個醫生啊？要確定耶！」TeenVolf還是憂心忡忡。 In fact, many of the hashers were happy to provide unsolicited medical advice. “I suggest daily betel nut chewing for a week, and abstinence from sex for 12 hours,” said Dr.Binlang. “Hard pass,” said Slobbo Tamer. “I recommend a beer enema for you, and a prostate massage for TeenVolf,” said Dr. Anal Technology. “But my leg is fine,” said TeenVolf. “So what?” replied Dr. Anal Technology. They even tried traditional medicine. “When I broke my foot, I drank bottle after bottle of deer penis wine,” said XiaoJiJi. “Did that help your foot heal faster?” asked Slobbo Tamer. “No, I just like deer penis wine,” said XiaoJiJi, “plus now my testicles are the size of oranges!” 其實，很多捷兔的朋友們都非常樂意提供他們完全沒被要求或詢問的醫療建議。「我跟妳說啦，如果妳每天嚼檳榔，而且禁慾 12 小時，一週之後就好了，真的超有用的！」Dr. Binlang誠懇說道。「做不到！」Slobbo Tamer想都不想地拒絕。「我教妳，妳可以用啤酒灌腸，然後好好深度按摩TeenVolf的攝護腺。」Dr. Anal Technology說。「可是我的腿又沒有受傷！」TeenVolf滿臉黑人問號。「那又怎樣？我有提到你的腿嗎？」Dr. Anal Technology連正眼都沒看。他們甚至去研究了民間傳統療法。「我每次腳斷掉或是受傷時，都是狂喝鹿鞭酒，一瓶接著一瓶！」 XiaoJiJi說著。「所以那有讓你的腳好的比較快嗎？」Slobbo Tamer問。「當然沒有，我純粹愛喝鹿鞭酒。而且我現在的睪丸跟柳丁一樣大！超棒！」XiaoJiJi光用說的就超興奮了。 Finally, they were approached by the witchiest of witch doctors: Dr. Sausage. “I made a special pipe tobacco that will let you run through any injury,” said the sausage-maker. “It’s made from Flasher’s chest hair and Vulture’s feathers, ground up and soaked in a mixture of Weeping Pussy’s tears, Period’s blood, Maple Semen’s syrup, and the highly concentrated nicotine extract that Serial Vapist sweats out. One puff, and you can run through anything.” “Wait a minute. You’re not a doctor!” said TeenVolf. “I ain’t a sausage either, but nobody complains about that!” said Mr. Sausage. 終於，捷兔界裡最強大最資深最陰沉的巫毒醫生Dr. Sausage 靠了過來：「我專門為妳特製了一款菸草，抽了它，不管什麼傷，就算妳沒有腿，也可以跑跳蹦！」巫醫自信說道。「這裡面是Flasher的胸毛及Vulture的羽毛，兩者搗碎後再泡進我特調的藥水：Weeping Pussy的淚水、Period的經血、Maple Semen的糖液、再混合 Serial Vapist 汗液裡超高濃度的尼古丁精華製成。只需要抽一口這個菸草，保證妳今天在淡水山區直接飛起來！」TeenVolf 聽到整個呆住：「等一下……你根本不是醫生啊！」Dr. Sausage兩手一攤：「我也不是香腸啊，不過也從來沒有人抱怨申訴過，對不對？」 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Slobbo Tamer Cohare 副兔: TeenVolf ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 200 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 30 Nov 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Tamsui Sports Park Tennis Court 淡水運動公園籃球場網球場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/vKgcHtJ2Cv3AoajS8 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Tamsui then walk 捷運淡水站然後走路到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBA

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2634 Inquiry

When & Where

November 30, 2025 (2:00 pm) – November 30, 2025 (6:00 pm)

Tamsui Sports Park Tennis Court 淡水運動公園籃球場網球場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/vKgcHtJ2Cv3AoajS8

December 24, 2024

#2635 – The Erection Run!

#2635 - The Erection Run!

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TwH³ #2635 – The Erection Run! 台灣健龍捷兔 #2635 – 2025台灣健龍捷兔會長交接亂 And, lo, the Great GM in the Sky sent down His only son, whom He loved, to Taiwan to be a shepherd to the hashers and lead them in His ways. And they cursed and crucified him for it. And so Just Gay went back to the Netherlands. “Great, now who will be next year’s GM?” asked the hashers? “We don’t need him, Motherfuckers,” said 2nd Man In, “we have Jesus!” And so hashers from across Taiwan went on a pilgrimage to the Sacred Heart Love Motel. There, Praying for Man Tits preached the Gospel of the Hairy Nipple while writing the Holy Hash Trash and many tomes of Hash-themed erotica. The former TwH3 GMs got on their knees and presented offerings to seek his favor. 《捷兔福音書》節選：這一天，天上最偉大的那位派下祂最親最愛的獨生子到台灣，成為捷兔團體的牧者，引導大家走在祂的路徑上。然而，眾人不領情，不斷抱怨並拒絕了祂。於是Just Gay離開且回去了荷蘭。捷兔的眾人說：「靠邀喔，那明年的會長要誰來當啊？」「你們這群愚昧的笨蛋，我們不需要他，我們有耶穌啊！」2nd Man In大聲說道。於是全台灣的捷兔跑者（信徒）們全部起身到了那個名為聖心愛的小摩鐵尋找耶穌。在那裡，Praying for Man Tits正在對著所有卸任的會長們佈道，宣講著「毛茸茸的奶頭」福音，並且在捷兔聖經裡撰寫了許多關於捷兔的情色故事與文集。在場的信徒們都跪下祈求他的指導與祝福。 “Oh Hash Jesus,” said 2nd Man In, “I offer you a bottle of the finest rum in all the Mexicos, if you could only be our GM.” “And I,” said 70% Gay, “offer you my boyfriend’s hairy, ginger butthole, if you could only be our GM.” “And I… wait, what?” said Tiny Balls. “I also offer you my boyfriend’s tight, pink, bussy,” said Minor Pusher, “if you could only be GM and stop making me translate this pervy shit.” “But… my butt,” said WWTTBBWWKKCC. “Honey, are you going to offer my virgin anus to Praying for Man Tits too?” asked XiaoJiJi. “No! Why do you keep asking me this?” said XiaoMeiMei. 「噢，捷兔耶穌，我願奉上墨西哥最上等的萊姆酒，只求你成為我們的新會長。」2nd Man In誠心說到。「噢，我也願意呈上我男友那棕紅色毛茸茸、吹彈可破的屁眼，只求你成為我們的新會長。」70% Gay也說著。「ㄟㄟ，我….？蛤？」Tiny Ball傻眼貓咪。「我也可以把我的男友獻給你。你看看他那緊緻粉嫩的小洞菊花，只求你可以成為我們的新會長。然後停止讓我繼續翻譯你這些電腦都不願意翻的色情故事。」 Minor Pusher五體投地真心吶喊。「蛤？！我的卡撐啊～～～」WWTTBBWWKKCC哀嚎。「老婆，妳也會把我的第一次屁眼眼奉獻給Praying for Man Tits對吧？」XiaoJiJi藏不住興奮地問道。「當然不可以！不要再一直問這個問題了！」XiaoMeiMei毫無猶豫。 And the GMs argued, but none could convince the venerable sage to take their place. Suddenly from the crowd of hashers, a robed figure stood. He pulled down his hood: it was Fucking Sucks. “Fuck you,” he addressed the crowd, then turned towards the altar. “Fuck you. Fuck you! Fuck you. Fuck you? Fuck you!” No one spoke. A single tear rolled down Cunt of the Litter’s face. “Your words can move mountains! With a well-reasoned argument like that, how could I possibly say no?” said Praying for Man Tits. 會長們爭論不休，但誰也沒能說服這位德高望重《身為翻譯表示無奈…》的智者《還是無奈…》代替他們。突然，人群中站起一個身穿長袍的人影。他拉下兜帽：原來是Fucking Sucks。「幹拎涼，」他對著人群大聲喊道，然後轉向祭壇看著耶穌，「幹拎涼！幹拎涼！幹拎涼！幹拎涼！幹拎涼！」眾人鴉雀無聲。此時Cunt of the Litter臉上留下了一滴淚。Praying for Man Tits嘆了一口氣然後開口，「噢，你的話語足以移動山河！有瞭如此條理清晰的論據，我又如何拒絕呢？」 And the hashers cheered and celebrated, with table down-downs and the passing around of bottles and the absence of songs. And all were merry, until the new GM’s first disciple, Second Cumming, raised a question: “Who’s going to write the event stories from now on?” 於是捷兔眾人大聲歡呼，在晚餐餐桌噹噹時開心慶祝。酒瓶在人群中傳來傳去，按照傳統依然沒有任何歌聲，但大家都十分愉快。直到新任會長的第一位首席門徒 Second Cumming 開口發問：「那以後活動故事要誰來寫啊？」 Huh… Well, don’t worry. I’m sure they’ll do a great job! 「嗯……別擔心，他們一定會做得很棒的！」 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man-Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ————————————————- ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: 70% Gay and WWTTBBWWKKCC Cohare 副兔: Praying for Man-Tits ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 250 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 7 Dec 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Fuxing Park 復興公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/NdkjkcycCiX99iW88 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Xinbeitou then walk 捷運新北投站然後走路到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $200 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 水都溫泉會館 https://maps.app.goo.gl/J7LP7AKQodQW9kKE9 Signup required! No bash-only option; if you wanna bash, you gotta run! 需要報名！很抱歉沒有僅晚餐選項；想參加晚餐看戲就必須跑步！

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2635 Inquiry

When & Where

December 7, 2025 (2:00 pm) – December 7, 2025 (6:00 pm)

Fuxing Park 復興公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/NdkjkcycCiX99iW88

December 24, 2024

#2636 – Specimens for the Buggery

#2636 - Specimens for the Buggery

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Praying For Man Tits looked up from his desk as Small Potential burst through the door, wielding three plastic boxes. “I have the specimens you requested, GM!” With calm superiority, Professor Man Tits ushered Small Potential into his insectorium, leaving his typewriter dangerously unattended. “Now, Small Potential, show me the Minimus testiculii.” “Eh?” “Let me see the Tiny Balls you captured,” explained Mantits, growing more urgent, and aroused. Praying For Man Tits從辦公桌前抬起頭，只見Small Potential猛地推門而入，揮舞著手中三個塑膠盒。「會長！你要的標本我拿到了！！」 Praying For Man Tits帶著一絲沉穩的優越感，領著Small Potential走進他的昆蟲標本室，任由打字機處在無人看管且十分危險的處境。「現在，Small Potential，給我看看迷你睾丸蟲」「蛤？」「讓我看看你抓到的Tiny Balls！！」Praying For Man Tits語氣急促並帶著一絲興奮 Small Potential opened the first container, extracting a writhing pink worm. “Useless!” bemoaned Mantits, “This is clearly a Walktalkus cumii. Note the lack of freckles, and the loose anal cavity. This won’t do at all.” Small Potential打開第一個盒子，取出一條扭動的粉紅色蟲蟲「不對！」”Praying For Man Tits哀嘆道，「這明明是庫米步足蟲，它身上沒有雀斑，肛門也很鬆弛，這根本不行！」 “Sorry, boss” whimpered Small Potential. He opened the second box, and lifted out another pitiful creature. “Wrong again!” bellowed the new GM. “For starters, what possible use could I have for a female? Next, this is a Sexagintanovem percentigae. Notice the lack of boobs and whiny vocalizations. Interestingly, this one is known to occasionally mate with the Tiny Balls.” “Not if I can help it!” squeaked the S. percentigae. 「對不起，老闆…」Small Potential哭哭啼啼的說著並打開第二個盒子，又拿出一條可憐的生物。「又錯了！！！」新GM怒吼道「首先，我到底要個雌性生物做什麼？再來，這是七彩蟻。它沒有ㄋㄟㄋㄟ，叫聲也像個怨婦。不過有趣的是，據說這種生物偶爾會和Tiny Balls交配。」「只要我是有用的就不是錯誤！」七彩蟻吱吱叫著。 “You’ve got one more chance, Small Potential,” Man Tits said, wagging a finger, and more besides. SP could hardly release the lid of the third box, his fingers quivering much like Professor Man Tits’ running shorts. He extracted from the damp soil a filthy German man. Mantits looked more disappointed than angry. 「你還有最後一次機會，Small Potential」Praying For Man Tits搖著手指不斷地說著 Small Potential費了好大勁才打開第三個箱子的蓋子，他的手指顫抖得就像Praying For Man Tits的跑步短褲一樣，他從潮濕的泥土裡掏出一個髒兮兮的德國男人 Praying For Man Tits看起來更多的是失望而不是憤怒。 “A common Shitface… I suppose it’s my fault for giving you too much responsibility.” The professor sighed. The sigh of a man looking ahead at 50 more weeks of stupidity. “I’ll tell you what. Try again, Small Potential, and take that vile creature with you. I’ll lock up the other two. Look around Yangmingshan, and this time take some flour. It’ll do for this week’s run.” 「一個普通的Shitface…我想這都是我的錯，我不該給你太多責任」Praying For Man Tits嘆了口氣。那是一聲嘆息，彷彿預告著接下來還有五十週的愚蠢工作要做。「我告訴你…Small Potential，再試一次，把那個卑鄙的生物帶走。我會把另外兩個關起來。去陽明山附近轉轉吧！這次帶點麵粉，這週跑步用得著。」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Small Potential Cohare 副兔: Shitface ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:B run / 路線：A to B 8.5 km + Elevation/爬升: 200 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 14 Dec 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* A: Yangmingshan Bus Terminal 陽明山總站 https://maps.app.goo.gl/ziZWX7XVTzdXnXSM8 B: Beitou5hao Park 北投5號公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/qr7UG1pa4vNE5iLz5?g_st=ipc ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take any bus to Yangmingshan Bus Terminal. The 260 bus goes from Taipei Main Station to the YMS bus terminal with many stops along the way. This bus is quite frequent. Another option is MRT to Shipai then Bus S8 to the run start, but this bus is less frequent, only once every half hour. 有很多公車可以選擇去陽明山總站。比如說捷運石牌站轉搭公車小8到A點 For drivers, you can park at A point or B point. Buses 230 and S9 run between A point and just across from Xinbeitou station. You have to walk a few hundred meters from the bus stop to the precise location of the B. 開車的人可以把車停在A點或B點然後搭公車230或小9, 會在A跟B之間來回 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Kahu Craft Beer Garden Pizza Bash 0903 432 639 https://maps.app.goo.gl/eK9DUtg4R74aGTbm8

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2636 Inquiry

When & Where

December 14, 2025 (2:00 pm) – December 14, 2025 (6:00 pm)

A: Yangmingshan Bus Terminal 陽明山總站 https://maps.app.goo.gl/ziZWX7XVTzdXnXSM8 B: Beitou5hao Park 北投5號公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/qr7UG1pa4vNE5iLz5?g_st=ipc

December 24, 2024

#2637 – Porkshank Redemption 烤乳豬將功贖罪跑跑跑

#2637 - Porkshank Redemption 烤乳豬將功贖罪跑跑跑

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Setting: A courtroom. Old wood panels line the walls. A large TwH³ logo mounted above the judge’s throne. Judge presiding: His Dishonour Justice Man Tits Prosecutor: 2nd Man In Defence: Just John * 場景：法庭。牆壁上鑲嵌著老舊的木板。法官寶座上方懸掛著一個巨大的 TwH³ 標誌。主審法官：恥辱大法官，Justice Man Tits 檢察官：2nd Man In 辯護律師：Just John MAN TITS: Bring in the prisoner! The defendant, Loves Two Swallows is shoved into the room, decked in chains. His bare feet drag across the cold stone floor. His jailer, Mr. Sausage Esq. leers from behind. SAUSAGE: Hurry up ya cunt! MAN TITS: Thank you, Mr. Sausage. 2nd Man In? IN: Thank you, Your Dishonor. This motherfucker is charged with haring a trail with too much river tracing, not enough flour, and stupid fucking checks. MAN TITS：把犯人帶進來！被告Loves Two Swallows被推入房間，全身戴著鐐銬。他赤腳拖在冰冷的石板地上。他的獄卒Mr. Sausage在後面不懷好意地盯著他。 Mr. Sausage：快點，你這混蛋！ MAN TITS：謝謝你，Mr. Sausage。2nd Man In？ 2nd Man In：謝謝你，恥辱大法官。這混蛋被控告做的路線太多的溯溪、太少的麵粉和愚蠢的謎題。 MAN TITS: Understood. Defence? JOHN: Aww, go on, cut him some slack, guvnor. He’s a nice enough lad. He doesn’t know no better. It’s a fair cop, but society’s to blame. MAN TITS: Is this lawyer even a hasher? Stand up, prisoner. Loves Two Swallows shuffles nervously in his rags. JOHN: He’s already standing, Your Dishonour. MANTITS: Never mind. Young man, have you learned your lesson? SWALLOWS: Yessir. MANTITS: It says here you’ve planned a new trail to pay for your crimes. SWALLOWS: Yessir. MAN TITS：明白了。辯護律師？ JOHN：哎呀～別這樣，長官，饒了他吧。他是個挺好的孩子，只是不懂事。他確實有錯，但是是社會該負起相應的責任! MAN TITS：確定這律師是捷兔跑者嗎？？？！！！站起來，囚犯。 Loves Two Swallows穿著破爛的衣服，坐立不安地挪動。 JOHN：他已經站起來了，恥辱大法官。 MAN TITS：算了。年輕人，你學到教訓了嗎？ Loves Two Swallows：是的，長官。 MAN TITS：上面寫著你已經計畫了一條新的路線來償還你的罪行。 Loves Two Swallows：是的，長官。 MANTITS: And no river tracing this time I hope, you little rascal? SWALLOWS: Oh no, mister. This one starts at the same A-point as last year. The Short only has 450 meters of elevation, and we’re preparing a whole roast pig which will definitely be ready on time! MANTITS: Whatever. I only came to this trail because someone said “See you in Cort.” MAN TITS：這次沒有溯河路線了吧？你這小傢伙！ Loves Two Swallows：哦，不，先生。這次的起點和去年一樣。短的路線只有450公尺的爬升，並且我們會準備一整隻烤乳豬，保證能準時出爐！ MANTITS：隨便。我參與這次的路線只是因為有人說「等等法院見！」。 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Loves Two Swallows Cohare 副兔: Just John ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 450 m L: 9 km + Elevation/爬升: 450 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 21 Dec 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 汐止興善宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/87xLxx2dARc2gQkL7 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Dahu Park then Bus S3 to Xingshan Temple then walk to A point 捷運大湖公園站然後公車小3到興善宮站然後走到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 千里達企業有限公司 https://maps.app.goo.gl/87xLxx2dARc2gQkL7

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2637 Inquiry

When & Where

December 21, 2025 (2:00 pm) – December 21, 2025 (6:00 pm)

汐止興善宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/87xLxx2dARc2gQkL7

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