#2542 - Elwood's Eleven: The Shenkeng Job


As police sirens wailed overhead, Elwood Blues and his favorite partner in crime, Sticky Fingers, marched silently through the sewers, flashlights in hand, to one of Elwood’s many secret hideouts. This one was where he kept items he “borrowed” after hashers lost them on trail: shoes, jackets, wallets, watches, dignity, virginity, hopes, dreams, and a harddrive full of the Talented Mr. Nipply’s anime girl NFTs. He opened the metal hatch to the room, turned on the air freshener, and immediately got down to business. 警笛響起之際,Elwood Blues 和他最喜歡的犯案搭檔 Sticky Fingers 正拿著手電筒、悄悄穿越地下道,前往其中一處藏匿點。這裡存放著「借來的」東西——捷兔們在跑步後遺忘的鞋子、夾克、錢包、手錶、尊嚴、童貞、希望和夢想,還有Talented Mr. Nipply 充滿動漫少女身影的硬碟。他進入金屬艙門、打開空氣清淨機之後,便立即投身於工作。 “We have been hired for a mission,” said Elwood Blues, “to steal from the Taiwan Stink Exchange.” “The what?” asked his co-hare. “Shenkeng Street, where the stink brokers buy and sell stink to add to their famous tofu,” explained Elwood Blues, pointing at a map drawn in crayon. “On Sunday, an armored van will be transporting a briefcase of untraceable, unmarked stinks from the Fort Socks Smell Depository to Shenkeng. XiaoJiJi, I mean, our anonymous client wants us to intercept the truck here, steal the stink, and then rendezvous at a restaurant here, where he can use it for some sort of bitter, penis-enlarging wine.” Sticky Fingers examined the map: the plan was flawless. 「我們被僱來執行一個任務,從臺灣臭貨交易所偷東西。」Elwood Blues說。 「偷什麼?」他的搭檔問。 「深坑老街,臭臭經紀人買賣臭臭秘方的地方,以製作出他們有名的豆腐。」Elwood Blues手指著一張用蠟筆畫的地圖解釋著。 「這個星期天,一輛裝甲車將把一件沒有標記、無法追蹤的臭臭秘方,從Fort Socks Smell Depository運輸到深坑老街,然後小雞雞,啊不是我是指我們匿名的客戶,讓我們攔截這輛車,偷走臭臭秘方,然後在這裏的餐廳碰頭,在那裏他可以用它來釀一些苦澀的、讓雞雞增大的酒。」 Sticky Fingers 檢查了地圖,計劃完美無瑕。 “How will we evade the security guards once we swipe the stink?” asked Stinky, I mean, Sticky Fingers. “I’m thinking we use Operation Zookeeper,” replied Elwood Blues. Sticky Fingers thought for a minute. “Good idea, but where can we find a bikini for a llama with such short notice?” “What? No, I mean the plan where we organize a hash run the exact time and place of our heist, so that the police won’t know which runner to follow,” said Elwood Blues. “Plus, with all those sweaty bodies in old shoes around, nobody will be able to sniff out the stolen stink either!” Satisfied, the two thieves shook their secret handshake, and started their preparations. 「一旦我們移動臭臭,我們如何躲避保安人員?」 Sticky Fingers 問道。 「我想我們就使用動物園管理員行動。」Elwood Blues 回答。 Sticky Fingers思考了一下:「好主意!但我們怎麼在這麼短的時間內,找到給羊駝穿的比基尼?」 Elwood Blues聽了說:「啥?不是啦!我的意思是我們弄個捷兔跑步活動當煙霧彈,恰好在搶劫的時間和地點,這麼多汗臭跑步的人還有臭鞋,這樣警察就不會知道應該追蹤哪個臭臭的跑者,誰也聞不出我們偷來的臭臭所在。」 兩個小偷滿意地握手為定,開始著手任務。 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Elwood Blues Cohare 副兔: Sticky Fingers ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線:A to A 7.5 km *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, February 25, 2024 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Tu Di Gong in Jianjiaokeng 土地公(梘腳坑土地公廟) https://maps.app.goo.gl/AAnL7mrenmR1G22q7 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Bus 923 from MRT Xindian Station Bus 263 or 251 from MRT Gongguan Station *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 大團園休閒農園 0226625328 https://maps.app.goo.gl/oQSjzZuxb8bQKWzM6

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When & Where

February 25, 2024 (2:00 pm) – February 25, 2024 (6:00 pm)