Details

“Come in,” said the Head Curator of the National Palace Museum art collection, towards the knocking on his wood-paneled door. The door swung open, and in strode Sexy Chicken and Dick You. “How can I help you?” asked the curator. “We have some amazing new artworks that we think can be a great addition to this museum,” said Dick You. “That’s… not how this museum works” said the Curator. “Behold!” said Sexy Chicken, pulling something out of his bag. “You’ve heard of the meat-shaped stone and the jadeite cabbage? Well let me show you Taiwan’s newest treasure: the egg-shaped rock!” Sure enough, in his hands was a rounded, white rock about the size of a hard-boiled egg. “Is it not breathtaking? It took me months to carve it!” “I’m sorry,” said the curator, “but I don’t think we can accept that.” “How about this,” said Dick You, who started pulling out a long, granite, phallic object from a bag. “No, no, that’s quite all right,” said the Curator, “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I cannot accept these artworks. I have lots of work to do, so if you don’t mind, please return the way you came.” 「請進，」故宮博物院藝術收藏館長對著木板門的敲門聲說道。 門打開了，性感雞和戳戳你大步走了進來。 「我有甚麼可以為你效勞的嗎？」 館長問。 「我們有一些令人驚嘆的新藝術品，我們認為它們可以為這個博物館增色不少，」戳戳你說。 「這……不是故宮運作的方式，」館長說。 「你等等，」性感雞一邊說，一邊從包包裡掏出一樣東西。 「你早就知道肉型石和翠玉白菜，那我來讓你看看台灣最新的寶藏：蛋型石！」 果然，他的手中，多了一塊約莫白煮蛋大小的圓形白色岩石。 「這不是很令人驚嘆嗎？我花了幾個月的時間才雕刻出來的！」 「我很抱歉，」收藏館長說，「但我認為我們不能接受這個。」「那這個怎麼樣？」戳戳你說，他開始從袋子裡拿出一個長長的花崗岩陰莖狀物體。 「不不，不用再給我看了，」館長說道，「抱歉，我恐怕不能接受這些藝術品。我還有很多工作要做，如果不介意的話，請自行出去吧。」 Dejected, the two hashers turned to leave… and as they turned, the Curator noticed two objects strapped to their backpacks. “Wait,” he cried, “what are those?” “What, these?” said Dick You. “They are the prizes for 1st Man and 1st Woman for the Golden Trail Runs. The last run is this Sunday.” Tears streamed down the Curator’s cheeks. “They are beautiful! I must have them!” “I thought you said the museum does not work that way?” said Sexy Chicken. “Not for the museum, but for my personal collection! Please, I will pay any price!” The Curator got down on his knees and groveled at the feet of Dick You, who wished he was wearing new shoes for this moment. “Sorry, they’re not for sale, but you are welcome to come to the hash run anyway! It’s open for everyone.” “Here,” said Sexy Chicken, “you can have my egg-shaped rock. I can always make more!” The Curator bowed profusely and thanked the hashers for their generosity… but after they left, he got up, scowled, and removed the rubber Curator mask. “Fine,” said the mysterious imposter, “I guess I will have to win the race myself…” 兩個hasher沮喪地要轉身離開…當他們轉身時，館長注意到他們的背包上綁著兩個物體。 「等等，」他喊道，「那些是什麼？」 「什麼，這些？」 戳戳你說。 「它們是黃金越野跑第一名男子和第一名女子的獎品。最後一次比賽將在這星期天舉行。」 淚水順著館長的臉頰流下來。 「它們超美的!! 我一定要擁有它們！」 「我以為你說過故宮不是這樣運作的？」 性感雞說。 「不是為了博物館，而是為了我的個人收藏！拜託，我願意付出任何代價！」 館長跪下拜倒在戳戳你的腳下，戳戳你恨不得此刻穿的是新鞋。 「抱歉，但它們是非賣品，不過不管怎樣都歡迎來參加星期天的hash跑步！所有人都可以參加的。」 「來，」性感雞說，「你可以擁有我的蛋形石。我還可以製作更多！」 館長深深地鞠了一躬，感謝了hasher的慷慨……但在他們離開後，他站了起來，皺起了眉頭，摘下了館長的橡膠面具。 「好吧，」神秘的冒名頂替者說道，「我想我得自己贏得比賽……」 ****** WHO / 誰 ****** Hare 主兔: Sexy Chicken / 性感雞 Cohare 副兔: Dick You / 戳戳你 ****** WHAT / 蝦咪 ****** A:B run / 路線：A to B L: 9.5 km + Elevation: 450 m / 爬升: 450 m S: TBD ****** WHEN / 啥時 ****** Date: Sunday, November 19th, 2023 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 ****** WHERE / 哪兒 ****** A: Waishuangxi Park (Next to the Palace Museum) 外雙溪公園 (靠近故宮) https://maps.app.goo.gl/bRkDMGupNKHyb8NC6 B: A secret MRT station 一個神祕的捷運站 ****** HOW / 怎去 ****** Take any bus to Wesley Girls High School (Indigenous People’s Park) stop. BR13 passes Dazhi MRT and several others pass Shilin MRT. 從士林或是大直搭公車到衛理女中站(原住民文化主題公園) ****** PRICE / 價格 ****** Men / 男人: $250 Women / 女人: $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Next to the B point MRT!

When & Where

November 19, 2023 (2:00 pm) – November 19, 2023 (6:00 pm)

A: Waishuangxi Park (Next to the Palace Museum) 外雙溪公園 (靠近故宮) https://maps.app.goo.gl/bRkDMGupNKHyb8NC6 B: A secret MRT station 一個神祕的捷運站