#2534 - The Death of 2023 Run 2023末日亂


Time was running out, and Tiny Balls, having already hared two runs in the past month, had forgotten something important: the last run of 2023! “Crap!” said the puny ginger, as he one-by-one contacted every hasher he knew to see who could help him co-hare the Dec 31 run. “Sorry, I hurt my foot,” said Limp of Shame on his way to another 40k run. “Sorry, I’m retired,” said Mexican Handjob from a beach in Cancun. “Sorry, you’ll never satisfy a woman with that thing,” said everyone who’s ever seen Tiny Balls naked. “Fuck you!” said Fucking Sucks. Out of options, he went to the nearest park and found a hopefully-just-sweaty Cum Stain by the pull-up bars, doing muscle-ups and trying very hard not to get too excited while doing so. 2023年接近尾聲,Tiny Balls 在過去的一個月裡忙活著兩場兔子秀,幾乎已經忘記了重要的末日亂。「媽呀!」這個小傢伙逐一聯絡認識的兔子們,想知道誰可以幫幫他,充當副兔。 剛跑完40公里的 Limp of Sham 說:「真抱歉,我的腳受傷了。」 悠閒躺在坎昆海灘上的Mexican Handjob說:「真抱歉,我退休了。」 每個見過 Tiny Balls 光溜溜的人都說:「真抱歉,迷你版是無法滿足任何一位女性的。」 Fucking Sucks說:「去你的!」 別無選擇,他來到最臨近的公園,在單槓旁遇上(希望只是香汗)鹹濕淋漓的Cum Stain,正在做引體上升的運動,他一邊爆發上半身的肌肉,一邊又非常努力地讓下半身不要跟著爆發。 “Help me, Cum Stain, you’re my only hope,” begged the diminutive redhead. “Fine, just let go of my legs, you’re too heavy,” said Cum Stain from the top of the bars. “The trail is set,” set Tiny Balls, “with city, mountain, graveyard, all the best places to celebrate New Year’s. All I need are New Year’s themed down-down ideas.” Cum Stain wiped his face with a rather crusty towel and thought. “In Madrid people celebrate New Year’s by trying to cram 12 grapes into their mouths by midnight. We can do that.” “Okay,” said Tiny Balls, “but we’re Taiwan Hash, so replace mouth with butthole. And replace 12 grapes with 12 betel nuts.” “Or one 12 inch dildo,” said Mexican Handjob, thousands of kilometers away. “Wait, why did I just say that?” 「Cum Stain,幫助我吧!你是我唯一的希望。」向小紅頭哀求著。「好說,但你先放開我的大腿,你太重了。」還掛在單槓上面的 Cum Stain,快撐不住了。」 Tiny Balls 接著說:「路線已經做好了,為了慶祝新年的到來,末日亂將跑遍所有最好的地方,一覽都市、山景和夜總會。現在只缺新年主題的噹噹點子了。」 Cum Stain 用相當硬的手巾擦拭自己的臉,並且思考:「在馬德里,人們試圖在午夜前把12顆葡萄塞進嘴巴裏來慶祝新年。 」 「這個可以!」Tiny Balls 說:「既然我們是台灣捷兔,那就用下面的嘴巴挑戰吧,並且用12顆檳榔代替12顆葡萄。 」 「或是一根12英寸的假陽具。」千里之遙的 Mexican Handjob 吶喊著。「等等,我為啥會冒出這句話?」 “Do you have any plans for 2024,” asked Tiny Balls? “I resolve to not get caught when haring, to not go through so many pairs of underwear in a day, and to do more muscle-ups,” said Cum Stain. “I hope to watch the New Year’s balls drop,” said Tiny Balls. “Do you mean the New York City NYE Ball Drop,” asked the well-traveled Cum Stain? “No,” said the short-statured fire-crotch, “that’s when every New Year I stand naked in front of a mirror and check to see if my balls will drop before midnight so that I can finally start puberty and become a man.” Cum Stain groaned. “Well, there goes my second resolution.” Tiny Balls 問道:「你有新年新希望了嗎?」 Cum Stain 回答:「我要下定決心,當兔子的時候不要被獵犬們追到。不要一天換穿太多套內褲。還有練習更多的引體上升運動。」 Tiny Balls:「我希望看到新年掉彩球。」 去遍各地的 Cum Stain 問:「你是指紐約時代廣場的報時球,那個跨年夜的降球儀式嗎?」 Tiny Balls說:「不是的,我是指我在每個跨年之夜,都會光溜溜的站在鏡子前面,觀察我的蛋蛋能否在午夜前降球?這意味著,我終於迎來青春期,可以轉大人了。」 Cum Stain 痛苦的吟呻道:「噢!這樣讓我想起我的第二個決心。」 ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Balls in Your Cort Cohare 副兔: Cum Stain ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線:A to A 7 km + Elevation: 250 m 長度:7公里、爬升: 250 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, December 31, 2023 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Xinhai Ecological Park 辛亥生態公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/t5oVFRDridPFpWo1A ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take brown line to Xinhai MRT and walk. 搭捷運到辛亥站,出站後走路3分鐘可達 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 新味珍復古熱炒 0229331289 https://maps.app.goo.gl/wt9YBu9mL65vrSYt6

When & Where

December 31, 2023 (2:00 pm) – December 31, 2023 (6:00 pm)

Xinhai Ecological Park 辛亥生態公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/t5oVFRDridPFpWo1A