#2519 - Le Tour de Zoo


Standing somewhere between the panda enclosure, the flamingo pond, and the cage where they keep the *thing* Mexican Handjob lost his virginity to; Mein Kuntf and Just Fiona were disguised as tourists, but stealthily recce-ing a trail for, they hoped, New Taipei Hash. “This place has so much history,” said Mein Kuntf. “In that area, for example, lived an elephant who served in the war against Japan. And over there is where Teenwolf spent his first years in Taiwan before someone realized he’s a human.” Just Fiona listened appreciatively, taking notes, until they reconvened at the Hare-bunker for a meeting. 站在貓熊柵欄、紅鶴池塘和那個養著讓墨西哥手工活失去童貞的”生物”的籠子之間; 我的勃起(Mein Kuntf)和就是費歐娜(Just Fiona) 喬裝成遊客,但其實他們是在偷偷地幫新北Hash探路。 “這個地方有著悠久的歷史,”我的勃起說。 “像是啊,在那區以前曾有一頭參加過抗日戰爭的大象。啊另一邊,是少年狼(Teenwolf) 度過了他在台灣的第一年歲月,直到有人意識到他其實是人類。” 就是費歐娜欽佩的一邊聽著,一邊筆記,直到他們在野兔地堡重新開會。 “I have the perfect plan,” declared Mein Kuntf, unrolling a map labeled with what Fiona strongly hoped were symbols for Buddhist temples. “Recently the hashers have been solving checks quickly through use of a wide front, so we shall lead them through the narrows of the Rainforest Area, with checks in the south by the Waterfowl Zone and the Penguin house. We will secure our route with checks at Bird World in the north and the Reptile House in the east. A beer check at the giraffe area will bring everything under control.” Just Fiona paled. “My hare…” she stammered, “the beer truck… the beer truck will not be allowed into the Zoo. New Taipei Hash has rejected your run.” “我有一個完美的計劃,” 我的勃起說道,同時展開了一張地圖,上面標記著就是費歐娜強烈希望是佛教寺廟的符號。 “最近,hasher常常用寬闊的前方道路來快速找到check,所以我們應該引導他們穿過狹窄的雨林區,接著在南邊的水鳥區和企鵝小屋附近來做check。我們將用check來確保我們的路線北邊會是鳥世界,東邊是爬蟲館,然後在長頸鹿區的來一下啤酒check,一切就都在掌控之中了~~。” “我的偉大兔子……”就是費歐娜臉色慘白結結巴巴的說,“啤酒車……啤酒車不被允許進入動物園。新北Hash回絕了你的路。” Mein Kuntf, with shaking hands, removed the sweatband from his head. “That was an ORDER! The beer truck in the zoo was an order! So this is what it has come to! The trailmasters have been lying to me. Our GMs are just a bunch of contemptible, drunken cowards.” Just Fiona was shocked, “My hare, this is outrageous! I cannot allow you to correctly call the GMs drunks.” Mein Kuntf raged on, “For years, the trailmasters have hindered my plans! I should have liquidated the committee, like Stalin! They shall pay in beer! They shall drown in their own beer!” Just Fiona quickly reacted, “Don’t worry, my hare. This is not your Downfall. If we make the route go mostly around the zoo, then Taiwan Hash will surely approve it! It’s your mother hash, and their GM looks like he surrenders quickly.” Mein Kuntf studied the new trail Fiona drew out. “That’s brilliant! You have saved my run! My mind is blown.” 我的勃起用顫抖的雙手取下了頭上的防汗帶。 “那是命令!讓啤酒車停在動物園裡面是命令!!那是應該達成的結果!!!!路徑委員一直在騙我。我們的會長們就是一群可悲的醉鬼懦夫。” 就是費歐娜嚇到了,“我的偉大兔子,這太超過了!!我不能允許你正確地叫會長們為醉漢。” 我的勃起繼續憤怒地說:“多年來,路徑委員們一直在阻礙我的計劃!我應該像史達林一樣清算委員會!他們將將用啤酒還債!他們將被自己的啤酒淹死!” 就是費歐娜很快反應過來,“請不用擔心,我的偉大兔子。這不會是你的失敗。如果我們把路線改成主要圍繞著動物園,那TwH3一定會批准的!那是你的母會,而且他們的會長看起來就是會馬上投降的類型。” 我的勃起研究了就是費歐娜發現的新路徑。 “太神了!你救了我的命!我真是大開眼界了!!” ****** WHO / 誰 ****** Hare 主兔: Mein Kuntf/我的勃起 Cohare 副兔: Just Fiona/就是費歐娜 ****** WHAT / 蝦咪 ****** A:A run / 路線:A to A Long: 9.1 km + Elevation: 430 m / 爬升: 430 m Short: 7.5 km + Elevation: 200 m / 爬升: 200 m ****** WHEN / 啥時 ****** Date: Sunday, September 17, 2023 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 ****** WHERE / 哪兒 ****** Taipei Zoo MRT Station 動物園捷運站 https://goo.gl/maps/iPnHDeXgPqeARXNW6 ****** HOW / 怎去 ****** Take the Brown Line MRT to Taipei Zoo Station Exit 1 and cross the road. 搭捷運棕線到台北動物園站,1號出口出去過馬路 ****** PRICE / 價格 ****** Men / 男人: $250 Women / 女人: $200 ****** BASH / 晚餐 ****** 新味珍復古熱炒 https://goo.gl/maps/sKCZNKazBhDdr9fa7

When & Where

September 17, 2023 (2:00 pm) – September 17, 2023 (6:00 pm)

Taipei Zoo MRT Station 動物園捷運站 https://goo.gl/maps/iPnHDeXgPqeARXNW6