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“Ah, if only life could be as simple as a pig’s,” thought Loves Two Swallows, strumming a banjo and leaning on the fence of Mountain Pig’s Swine Farm. “Rolling around in filth, eating garbage, having 30 minute long squealing orgasms…” [It’s true, look it up!] As he was lost in thought and before his hand could unconsciously move down into his pants, BBC arrived by pickup-truck. “Where is your dog?” asked Loves Two Swallows. “Right here,” said BBC as his Big Black Canine bounded up from out of the truck bed, “I never go anywhere without it. And where is your shirt?” “My what?” asked Loves Two Swallows. “Never mind,” said BBC, “let’s go inside. I promised the hashers we would have a whole pig BarBeCue during down downs, so we need to find the perfect one.” “But I know nothing about pigs,” said Loves Two Swallows. “That’s Ok,” said BBC, “I have assembled a team of experts.” “啊~~要是生活能像豬的一樣簡單就好了。”愛吞燕(Loves Two Swallows) 一邊彈著班卓琴，一邊靠在山豬養豬場的柵欄上想道。 “在一片髒兮兮中打滾，吃垃圾，然後可以有著持續30分鐘長的尖叫高潮…”【真心不騙，去問谷哥大神!!】正當他陷入沉思，手差一點不自覺地就要伸進褲子裡時，BBC的皮卡車來了。 “你們家的狗勒？” 愛吞燕問。 “這邊啊~”當他的大黑狗從卡車車廂裡跳出來時，BBC 說道，“沒有他我哪兒都不會去。啊你的襯衫呢？” “我的什麼？” 愛吞燕問。 “當我沒問，”BBC 說，“我們進去吧。我有跟hasher們保證，DI的時候我們會吃到全豬的巴比Q，所以我們必須要找到一隻完美的。” “可我是豬隻小白捏。”愛吞燕說。 “沒關係，”BBC 說，“我已經徵召了一組專家團隊。” Sure enough, a large truck rolled up, and out of the seats came Pig-Gina, Pig Skin, Pig Mud, and Mexican Handjob, who immediately hopped the fence and ran off into the barn. “Why did you bring the GM?” asked BBC. “He insisted,” said Pig-Gina, “something about 30 minute long orgasms.” BBC shrugged and the group entered the farm gates to Choose the Best Boar. “This farm is special,” said Pig Skin. “It’s run by a hasher so all the pigs have hash names. We have Mijo Swine, Limp of Spam, Future Sausage, Make me a Hotdog, Ham Rag, Arthur’s Bacon, Pork Vindaloo, Homo Hog-o, Suckling Fucks, Overboared, The Loin, Willing Sow…” 果不其然，一輛大卡車開過來，從座位裡鑽出豬吉娜( Pig-Gina)、豬皮(Pig Skin)、豬泥( Pig Mud)和墨西哥手工活(Mexican Handjob)，他們立刻跳過柵欄，跑進了穀倉。 “你怎麼把會長都帶來了？” BBC問。 “他堅持要跟，＂豬吉娜說＂因為他聽說了 30 分鐘高潮的事＂。 BBC 聳聳肩，一行人進入農場大門，準備選擇最好的公豬。 ＂這個農場很特別。＂豬皮說。 ＂他是由一個hash經營的，因此所有的豬都有兔名。 我們有豬公米酒(Mijo Swine)、肉罐跛行(Limp of Spam)、未來香腸(Future Sausage)、來跟熱狗(Make me a Hotdog)、火腿抹布(Ham Rag)、亞瑟的培根(Arthur’s Bacon)、辣豬肉(Pork Vindaloo)、恐同腸(Homo Hog-o)、X乳豬(Suckling Fucks)、豬叫(Overboared)、後腿肉(The Loin)、開心母豬(Willing Sow)… “There are so many, how can we ever choose?” argued the hungry, hungry hashers. “Should we choose the fastest pig?” “The fattest?” “The blackest?” “The gayest?” “The sluttiest?” As they pondered, with a large *crash* the wall near them broke down, and a massive hog stinking of alcohol tottered towards them and passed out at their feet, having broken into the farmer’s moonshine distillery and eaten all the fermented corn. “The drunkest!,” agreed the hashers in unison. So they hog-tied the giant animal, loaded it onto the pickup-truck, and, once the GM returned 30 minutes later, poured out some Taiwan beer and officially bestowed on the pig its new hash name: BBQ! “這麼多，我們要怎麼選哩？” 飢腸轆轆的hasher們爭論著。 “我們應該選擇跑得最快的豬嗎？” “最肥的？” “最黑的？” “最快樂的？” “最放蕩的？” 正當他們沉思的時候，一聲巨響，他們附近的牆倒塌了，一頭散發著酒臭的大豬搖搖晃晃地向他們走來，在他們腳邊昏倒了，它闖進了農民的私酒釀酒廠，吃掉了所有的發酵玉米。 “最醉的那個!!” Hasher們異口同聲地說。 於是，他們把這頭巨型動物綁起來，裝上皮卡，等會長30分鐘回來之後，倒了一些台啤，然後正式幫這頭豬起了一個新的兔名：BBQ !! ****** WHO / 誰 ****** Hare 主兔: BBC Cohare 副兔: Loves Two Swallows ****** WHAT / 蝦咪 ****** A:A run / 路線：A to A 8 km + Elevation: 220 m / 爬升: 220 m ******* WHEN / 啥時 ******* Date: Sunday, October 22nd, 2023 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 ******* WHERE / 哪兒 ******* No. 12, Changqing Rd., Xizhi District, New Taipei City 新北市汐止區長青路12號 https://maps.app.goo.gl/5LsXTcsA2KEYcoKX6 ****** HOW / 怎去 ******* Take the 小3 bus to Xingshan Temple (興善宮) from Kunyang MRT or Neihu MRT. Or, get thirsty with a 3.6 km run from Dahu Park MRT. 從昆陽站或是內湖站搭小3公車到興善宮 或是從大湖公園站run to run，短短3.6km先暖身 ****** PRICE / 價格 ****** Men / 男人: $250 Women / 女人: $200 ****** BASH / 晚餐 ****** Per the hares: “We hold a WHOLE PIG BBQ Party at point A” 兔子們說，我們將有烤全豬BBQ趴踢!

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2524 Bash Me

When & Where

October 22, 2023 (2:00 pm) – October 22, 2023 (6:00 pm)

No. 12, Changqing Rd., Xizhi District, New Taipei City 新北市汐止區長青路12號 https://maps.app.goo.gl/5LsXTcsA2KEYcoKX6