Details

In their quaint apartment, veteran hasher couple You Are My Son and Maybe were preparing decorations for a Halloween Bash. Maybe had just finished stringing up the fake cobwebs, and her husband was folding origami bats out of voided alimony checks and discarded paternity test results. “Have you finished making the jack-o-lanterns?” asked You Are My Son. “Maaayyybe,” said the Formosa Hash GM, turning to the camera and winking as the studio audience laughed. “I find your lack of pumpkin carving skills disturbing,” he replied, “but I guess I will have to do this myself,” and he whipped out a lightsaber-shaped machete and began to hack away at the pumpkin. “Hmm… I see the force is strong with this one.” Cue laughs. 在他們古色古香的公寓裡，老司機Hasher夫妻”你是我兒”( You Are My Son) 和”可能”( Maybe) 正在為萬聖節趴替準備裝飾品。 “可能” 剛剛串起來了假蜘蛛網，她老公則是正在用失效的贍養費支票和廢棄的親子鑑定結果摺成紙蝙蝠。 「你南瓜燈做好了嗎？」”你是我兒”問。 「摳玲~~，」FH3 會長說，她轉向鏡頭，眨了眨眼，錄影室的觀眾笑了起來。 「我很不安的發現你缺乏雕刻南瓜的技巧，」他回答道，「看來我得自己做這件事了。」然後他掏出一把光劍形狀的砍刀，開始劈砍南瓜。「嗯……我看這顆南瓜有很強的原力」。(下指令: 請發出笑聲) “Have you thought of what costume you are going to wear?” asked Maybe. “Naturally,” said You Are My Son, “I shall go as Darth Vader.” “How original,” said Maybe, “but are you going to be the ‘scary’ Darth Vader or the ‘dad jokes’ Darth Vader?” You Are My Son scowled: “Do not underestimate the power of dad jokes. And I assume you will be Princess Leia again?” “Maaayyybe,” said Maybe, turning to the camera and winking as the studio audience laughed. “I can’t decide between ‘‘rebel leader’ Leia or ‘sexy slave girl’ Leia. Any thoughts?” 「啊你想好了你的扮裝了嗎？」 “可能”問。「東聯~」”你是我兒”說，「我要變裝成達斯·維達。」 「是喔…好有創意喔…」”可能”說，「啊你要扮成『可怕的~~』達斯·維達還是『老爸玩笑』的達斯·維達呢？」”你是我兒”皺眉：「不要低估了老爸玩笑的力量。 那我猜你會再次扮成莉婭公主？」 「摳玲~~」”可能”說，她轉向鏡頭，在錄影室觀眾大笑時又眨了眨眼。 「人家沒辦法在『反抗軍領袖』莉婭和『性感女奴』莉婭之間做出選擇。 有什麼想法嗎？」 Just then, who should appear through the apartment door but Mexican Handjob. “It’s the GM!” said You Are My Son and Maybe at the same time, as the studio audience cheered. “Shut the fuck up! I am here to rescue you!” said the GM. “From what?” asked You Are My Son. “None of this is real! You are trapped in a sitcom. You’re supposed to be recce-ing the next run, not re-enacting an idealized version of suburban American marital harmony.” The studio audience booed, agitated. “What do you mean,” asked You Are My Son, “how can you tell this is fake?” “Because Taiwanese people don’t know what Halloween is,” said the GM, “plus, can’t you hear that studio audience react to your catchphrases?” “Mm… mmaaaybbee?” said Maybe, stiffly turning to the camera and winking involuntarily as the studio audience laughed demonically. “Help… us…” she mouthed through a frozen smile. “We’re out of time! I have to use my secret weapon” shouted Mexican Handjob, pulling out a remote control and pushing a button. 就在這時，可想而知的，墨西哥手工活從公寓門口粉墨登場。「是會長大大!! 」 “你是我兒”和”可能”異口同聲說，錄影室觀眾歡呼雀躍。 「都給我他媽的閉嘴！ 我是來救你的！」 會長說。「救我? 為何?」”你是我兒”問。 「這一切都不是真的！ 你被困在情境喜劇中。 你本來應該是要去為了下一次的亂探路的，而不是在這邊重新演繹和諧的美國郊區理想化婚姻版本。」 錄影室觀眾激動的不斷發出噓聲。 「你是什麼意思?」”你是我兒”問道，「你怎麼知道這都不是真的？」「因為台灣人不知道萬聖節是什麼，」會長說，「而且，你沒發現錄影室的觀眾都會對你的口頭禪做出反應嗎?」「嗯……摳…摳玲？」”可能”說，她僵硬地轉向鏡頭，不由自主的眨了下眼，錄影室的觀眾則邪惡地笑了起來。 「幫幫……我們……」她從僵硬的微笑中擠出這句話。 「我們沒時間了！ 我必須使用我的秘密武器。」墨西哥手工活喊道，同時拿出遙控器並按下按鈕。 “What have you done! Where are we now,” said Maybe, smoldering at the camera as a wind machine blew her hair. “I changed the channel. You are now in a Telenovela,” said Mexican Handjob, who started passionately kissing the maid. “Gasp! How could you?” said Maybe, slapping Mexican Handjob. Just then, 2nd Man In arrived with a bunch of Formosa Hashers dressed as nuns. “Wait! You cannot slap the GM! For he is… my twin brother!” Everyone gasped. Lick a Slower Spick appeared. “Gasp! How could you!” and slapped 2nd Man In. “Darling!” he replied, looking away and quickly looking back, “Don’t worry! I am still your husband!” “No…” said a sinister voice, as everyone turned to see who said it. “You… are… my son!” 「你做了什麼！ 我們現在在哪裡?」當一台風扇吹起她的頭髮時，”可能”對著鏡頭悶悶不樂問道。 「我轉台了呀， 你現在在鄉土劇裡面。」墨西哥手工活說著，然後開始熱情地親吻女僕。 「歐買尬！你怎麼可以這樣?!」”可能”一邊打墨西哥手工活巴掌一邊說。 就在這時，第二名的辣個男人帶著一群裝扮成修女的FH3 Hashers 來了。 「修但幾勒！ 誰准你打會長！ 他…他可是……我的雙胞胎兄弟！」 所有人都倒吸了一口氣。 舔個比較慢的拉美這時出現了。 「歐買尬！你怎麼可以這樣?!」並打了第二名的辣個男人一巴掌。「 哈妮！」 他回應，眼神轉開，又很快的轉回，「別擔心！ 我還是你老公！」 「不……」一個陰險的聲音響起，所有人都轉頭看是誰說的。 「你……是……我兒！」 ****** WHO / 誰 ****** Hare 主兔: Maybe / 可能 Cohare 副兔: You Are My Son / 你是我兒 ****** WHAT / 蝦咪 ****** A:B run / 路線：A to B 7 km + Elevation: 350 m / 爬升: 350 m ****** WHEN / 啥時 ****** Date: Sunday, October 29th, 2023 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 ****** WHERE / 哪兒 ****** A: Nanxing Park, Nangang Station 南港車站南興公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/qCNindu39kN8wU6L6 B: Chunguang Park, Houshanpi MRT 後山埤春光公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/pjPeWqo2qXKANjku5 ****** HOW / 怎去 ****** A and B points are both next to MRT stations 不論A點還B點都很靠近捷運站~ ****** PRICE / 價格 ****** Men / 男人: $250 Women / 女人: $200 ****** BASH / 晚餐 ****** 喝霸熱炒海鮮 0287858788 https://maps.app.goo.gl/SF3a9FmvkvFhu1qj8

When & Where

October 29, 2023 (2:00 pm) – October 29, 2023 (6:00 pm)

A: Nanxing Park, Nangang Station 南港車站南興公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/qCNindu39kN8wU6L6 B: Chunguang Park, Houshanpi MRT 後山埤春光公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/pjPeWqo2qXKANjku5