#2511 - The Amphibiousexual Run / 乾濕大作戰亂


Once upon a time, in the far away land of Wulai, lived two magical creatures: a spirit of the land, and a spirit of the water. Their names are unpronounceable by human mouths, so we shall call them Just Tammy and Just Linna. They were having an argument by the riverbank over what kind of trails human runners liked best. “It’s hard ground,” said Linna of the Land, “where mankind belongs, where legs can push off solid earth and socks don’t get all wet and gross.” “Nay, it’s in the water,” said Tammy the Tracer, “where humans can cool off from the hot sun, make excuses to take their clothes off, and pee without anyone knowing.” “Land!” “River!” “Dry!” “Wet!” 從前從前,在那很遠很遠的大地–烏來,住著兩個神奇的生物:地之靈和水之靈。 他們的名字平凡的人類無法發音出來,所以我們就稱他們為“就只是Tammy”和“就只是Linna”。 他們正在河岸邊爭論人類跑者最喜歡什麼樣的路徑。 “絕對是堅硬的大地,”地之靈Linna說,“這是人類的歸屬,雙腿可以感受硬實的土地,襪子也不會弄得濕濕噁噁的。” “才不是,絕對是在水裡,”水之靈Tammy說,“人類可以在那得到涼爽並躲避烈日,還可以有藉口脫掉衣服,然後偷尿尿也沒人會發現。” “大地!” “溪河!” “乾!” “濕!” Unbeknownst to the fair nymphs, standing above them on Jiajiuliao Suspension Bridge was none other than the future GM of Metro Hash: Cherry Popper, the Hero of Hymentear, the Vanquisher of Virginities, the legendary deflowerer permanently banned from both St. Chastity’s School for Nuns and the Taipei Botanical Gardens. At the word “wet” he jumped down and addressed the two nature spirits. 兩位美麗的精靈沒有注意到,在她們上方的加九寮吊橋上,正站著未來的MH3會長:破處者(Cherry Popper),膜界的討伐者,童貞的征服者,被永久禁止進入聖貞潔修女學校和台北兒童樂園的傳奇破處者。 聽到“濕”這個詞,他跳了下來,對兩個自然精靈說話。 “Fair maidens, let us settle your argument with a Hash Run. It shall be half trail running, half river tracing, guaranteed to get the hashers all wet. You two shall be the hares.” “But we’ve never hared before,” said the spirits. “That makes you virgin hares. I can help with that,” said Cherry Popper, licking his lips. “We don’t even have hash names,” said the spirits. “I can help with that,” said a suddenly materialized Limp of Shame, licking his lips. “美麗的女孩們,讓我們用一場hash亂來解決你們的爭論吧 ~~ 這將會是一半在路徑上跑,一半在河裡溯溪,保證把hasher都弄濕~~ 然後你們兩個來當兔子。” “但我們從來沒當過兔子也…”精靈們說道。 “這樣你們就是處女兔,讓我來幫忙你們。”破處者舔著嘴唇說。 “可是我們也沒有兔名捏… ”精靈們再說道。 “讓我來幫忙這個~~”羞羞跛行突然出現並舔著嘴唇說道。 ****** WHO / 誰 ****** Hare 主兔: Just Tammy / 就只是Tammy Cohare 副兔: Just Linna / 就只是Linna ****** WHAT / 蝦咪 ****** A:A run / 路線:A to A 6 km + Elevation: 200 m / 爬升: 200 m ****** WHEN / 啥時 ****** Date: Sunday, July 23, 2023 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 ****** WHERE / 哪兒 ****** Jiajiuliao Suspension Bridge 加九寮景觀大橋 https://goo.gl/maps/uTQF3SR3drcSkPdf7 ****** HOW / 怎去 ****** Take bus 849 and get off at “Chenggong” bus stop. 公車849《成功》站下車,再步行850公尺 ****** PRICE / 價格 ****** Men $250 Women $200 ****** BASH / 晚餐 ****** TBD

When & Where

July 23, 2023 (2:00 pm) – July 23, 2023 (6:00 pm)

Jiajiuliao Suspension Bridge 加九寮景觀大橋 https://goo.gl/maps/uTQF3SR3drcSkPdf7