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After finishing a particularly mediocre cold shower, Shitty Shrinkage went outside to check the mail, wondering if Willem Dafoe had received his fan letters yet. Instead he found a golden envelope sealed with a single drop of red sealing wax. At least, he hoped it was wax. “Oh for fuck’s sake,” he said, already knowing the contents. It was the annual invitation from Period to co-hare the Jinguashi POW memorial run. Shitty Shrinkage set up an appointment to meet, hopped on his Goblin Glider, and sped off wondering how he could get out of this. 沖完一個超級平常的冷水澡後，狗屎縮陽(Shitty Shrinkage) 走到外面去看他的郵箱，想知道威廉·達佛有沒有收到他的粉絲信。 結果，他收到了是一個用一滴紅蠟密封的金色信封。 至少…他希望那真的是蠟。 “尬，你馬幫幫忙”他說，然後已經可以知道信的內容了。 那是月月有(Period)1年1度的邀請，請他當金瓜石戰俘營紀念亂的副兔。 狗屎縮陽約好了見面，跳上他的綠惡魔滑翔翼飛馳而去，然後一邊想著要怎麼才能擺脫這件事。 “Are you excited for this run,” asked Period? “I can’t run,” said Shitty Shrinkage, “I injured my ankle.” “That was months ago, and I’ve seen you run since then,” said Period, “plus I injure myself all the time. Look, I hurt my knees just speaking to you!” “I can’t run,” said Shitty Shrinkage, “I owe Balls in your Cort a lot of money from gambling.” “Nonsense, he’s a terrible poker player and everyone knows it,” said Period, applying gauze to his knees. “I can’t run,” said Shitty Shrinkage, “I… I am too shy.” “You are literally shirtless right now,” said Period, “plus, you have nothing to be shy about. I’ve heard you are hung like a Ken Doll… after an ice bath.” “Eh, fuck you,” said Shitty Shrinkage, Canadianly. “你對這次的亂興奮嗎？”月月有問道？ “我沒有辦法跑… ”狗屎縮陽說道，“我的腳踝受傷了捏。” “那都是幾個月前的事了?而且我明明就有看過你之前已經開始跑了，”月月有說，“而且，哼哼~我也是一直在弄傷自己啊。看，我只是和你說個話我的膝蓋就要廢了” “我沒有辦法跑…”狗屎縮陽說，“我賭博還欠蛋蛋在你的髒窩很多錢。” “放屁，大家都知道他撲克牌玩得有夠爛，”月月有一邊說，一邊給他自己膝蓋敷上紗布。 “我沒有辦法跑…”狗屎縮陽說道，“人家……人家太害羞了啦。” “你打赤膊在那邊給我睜眼說瞎話，”月月有說道，“而且，你有甚麼可害羞的? 我聽說你在沖了涼浴以後，下半身看起來簡直就像是肯尼娃娃。” “欸，去你的!! ”加拿大人狗屎縮陽說道。 “Fuck you!” said Fucking Sucks, suddenly appearing in the bushes. “Fuck you,” greeted Shitty Shrinkage, “fuck you?” “Fuck you? Fuck you! Fuck yooouuuu” argued Fucking Sucks, then he made a face and receded into the undergrowth. “Fuck you,” answered Shitty Shrinkage, then he turned back to Period: “Fine, I’ll do the run.” “What? He convinced you? How?” asked Period. “I learned to speak Fucklish in college,” replied Shitty Shrinkage. “去你的!” 突然從灌木叢中出現的操蛋(Fucking Sucks)說道。 “草尼馬，”狗屎縮陽跟他打招呼，“法克？” “法克？法克！法克油油油油油!!”操蛋爭論著，然後他做了個鬼臉，退回了灌木叢中。 “操你媽的，”狗屎縮陽繼續說道，然後他又轉向月月有：“好啦好啦，我會做你的副兔。” “啥？他說服了你？怎麼辦到的？” 月月有問道。 “我在大學裡學會了怎麼說法克語，”狗屎縮陽回答道。 EPILOGUE: ‘Twas the weekend before the run, and everything was set to go, when Shitty Shrinkage got the call. “I am replacing you,” said Period, “I have found a better co-hare: Chaofan.” “What? After all that, you’re replacing me?” complained Shitty Shrinkage. “When did you decide this? What does she have that I don’t?” “I decided at the Bikini Run,” said Period, “which also answers your second question.” “Eh, fuck you,” said a deflated Shitty Shrinkage, who proceeded to drown his sorrows with shots of maple syrup. 故事的尾聲: 戰俘紀念亂的前一個周末，一切都準備妥當，這時狗屎縮陽接到了一通電話。 “你出局了，”月月有說，“我找到了一隻更好副兔: 炒飯。” “蛤?哩共蝦?! 之前搞那麼大一齣，啊你現在要一腳把我踢開? ” 狗屎縮陽抱怨。”那你是甚麼時候改變心意的？ 她又有什麼是我沒有的？” “我在比基尼亂的時候決定的，”月月有說道，“我想這也順便回答了你第二個問題。” “去，法克油，”洩氣了的狗屎縮陽說道，然後他開始藉楓糖漿來澆他的悲傷。 ****** WHO / 誰 ****** Hare 主兔: Period / 月月有 Cohare 副兔: Chaofan / 炒飯 ****** WHAT / 蝦咪 ****** A:A run / 路線：A to A Long: 7.5 km + Elevation: 450 m / 爬升: 450 m Short: 5 km + Elevation: 300 m / 爬升: 300 m ****** WHEN / 啥時 ****** Date: Sunday, August 20, 2023 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 ****** WHERE / 哪兒 ****** Taiwan POW Memorial and Peace Park (Kinkaseki POW Camp) 國際終戰和平紀念園區 https://goo.gl/maps/PtxXsNSRfZXMg6Xm7 ****** HOW / 怎去 ****** Take bus 1062 from MRT Zhongxiao Fuxing Station Bus Stop. Bus time is approximately 1hr 20min. Departs every 20 minutes. 從捷運忠孝復興站搭1062巴士，車次間隔約20分鐘，大概需要1小時20分到達目的地 ****** PRICE / 價格 ****** Men / 男人: $250 Women / 女人: $200 ****** BASH / 晚餐 ****** 阿嬤的廚房 https://goo.gl/maps/jfNi94ybDGcc19aW8

When & Where

August 20, 2023 (2:00 pm) – August 20, 2023 (6:00 pm)

Taiwan POW Memorial and Peace Park (Kinkaseki POW Camp) 國際終戰和平紀念園區 https://goo.gl/maps/PtxXsNSRfZXMg6Xm7