#2504 - The Yinggelorious Basterds Run / 陰溝(鶯歌)混蛋亂


The rain showed no sign of relenting as Ass Pimp tried to shelter himself under a bus stop near the nondescript industrial warehouse. He wasn’t sure it was the right place, until he saw a large, handsome form limping shamefully out the side door. “Yes, this must be the place,” he thought. As he walked to the main entrance he noticed the sign stolen from an old amusement park and set high off the ground: “You must be this tall to ride.” “Yes, definitely the right place,” he said, as he descended into the dark labyrinth of Taipei’s most exclusive underground techno dungeon, ‘Haus Riesenwurst.’ 當仲介屁股者(Ass Pimp)試圖躲在一個不起眼的工業倉庫附近的公共汽車站時,大雨滂沱,一點都沒有要減緩的樣子。 他不確定這是不是正確的地方,直到他看到一個高大英俊的身影羞愧的從側門裡一瘸一拐地走了出來。 “耶使! 一定是這個地方,”他想。 當他走到正門時,他注意到一塊從舊遊樂園偷來的標誌,高高地豎立在地上:“你必須要有這個高度才能騎乘。” “耶使!! 絕對是正確的地方,”當他步入台北最獨特的地下地牢俱樂部“巨腸之家”的黑暗迷宮時,他說。 But Ass Pimp wasn’t here to dance. He made his way through the towering throngs of sweaty, lanky partygoers to the VIP room in the back, where the Size Queen herself presided over the long-legged multitude. “You,” she said, getting off of her bed/throne and releasing the chains to the speedo-clad, 195cm Bavarian hunk sitting obediently at her feet. “You are far from your home of New Taipei. But I have no time to deal with a mere barterer of buttocks. I am in the middle of a resource war. Doppelb?nger has been trying to muscle in on my merchandise, and even Praying for Man Tits is trying to convert my inventory.” 但仲介屁股者不是來跳舞的。 他穿過汗流浹背、身材瘦長的聚會人群,來到後面的貴賓室,尺寸女王(Size Queen)親自駕馭著這群長腿的人。 “你,”她說,從她的床/寶座上下來,鬆開系在身穿泳褲、身高 195 公分的巴伐利亞大塊頭上的鎖鏈,他轉而乖乖的坐在她腳邊。 “你居然遠離了新北來到了這裡,但我可沒時間去應付一個仲介屁股者,我正處於重要的資源搶奪戰中,只騎德國人(Doppelbanger)一直想染指我的貨色,甚至連祈求男人ㄋㄟㄋㄟ( Praying for Man Tits) 都想要偷我的庫存。” Ass Pimp did not back down: he knew the rights afforded him as former GM, and, more importantly, he knew he was tall. “Honorable Size Queen,” he said taking the knee, “have mercy on this hare, who has poor physical strength and runs slowly. I have come to ask you to favor my run and volunteer as my co-hare this Sunday.” Size Queen looked relieved. “Oh, is that all? Of course, I’ll co-hare for you! The Hash is the best place for me to find new product, after all. Let us toast!” she said, raising a glass of Riesling. “When one German drinks…” “ALL ZE GERMANS DRINK” shouted the entire nightclub in unison. 仲介屁股者並沒有退縮,他知道作為已故會長可以用的權力,更重要的是,他知道自己長的也很高。 “高貴的尺寸女王啊~”他單膝跪地說道,“請可憐可憐這隻體力不好又跑的不快的兔子吧。我是來這邊拜託你支援我做的路,然後這個星期天自願當我的副兔。” 尺寸女王看起來鬆了一口氣。 “哦~就降?那當然好,我會當你的副兔!畢竟,Hash是我狩獵新貨色的最佳場所。讓我們來乾杯吧!” 她說,然後舉起一杯甜白酒。 “當一個德國人喝酒時……” “在場所有的德國人都要喝!!! ”整個夜總會一起吶喊~ ****** WHO ? / 誰 ? ****** Hare 主兔: Ass Pimp / 仲介屁股者 Cohare 副兔: Size Queen / 尺寸女王 ****** WHAT ? / 蝦咪 ****** A:A run / 路線:A to A 7 km + Elevation: 250 m / 爬升: 250 m ****** WHEN ? / 啥時 ****** Date: Sunday, June 4, 2023 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 ****** WHERE ? / 哪兒 ****** New Taipei City Art Museum 新北市美術館 https://maps.app.goo.gl/RFErB3Hmbmh2EJqL6?g_st=ic ****** HOW ? / 怎去 ****** Take the local train to Yingge Station. 火車搭乘區間車至鶯歌站 ****** PRICE ****** Men $250 Women $200 ****** BASH / 晚餐 ****** 烤霸 https://maps.app.goo.gl/xfWmXC6kBckFMWQz8?g_st=ic

When & Where

June 4, 2023 (2:00 pm) – June 4, 2023 (6:00 pm)

New Taipei City Art Museum 新北市美術館 https://maps.app.goo.gl/RFErB3Hmbmh2EJqL6?g_st=ic