Details

Details will be published in the week before the run.

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2649 Inquiry

When & Where

March 15, 2026 (2:00 pm) – March 15, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Details

Praying For Man Tits looked… different. His pasty skin was pastier than usual. In fact, it had the consistency of some kind of smeared paste, covering him from head to toe. Fresh facial scars matched those typical of Korean “Westernization” eye surgery. His hair was clean. Too clean. Emma Stone clean. And he was about six inches shorter than everyone remembered, meaning his shorts went down almost to his shins. “Howdy, fellow Americans,” shouted the questionable Man Tits, addressing the crowd of hashers, “I am your old friend, Playing For Man Tits. I would like to introduce my cohare. Yee-haw!” Praying For Man Tits 看起來……不太一樣。 他那原本就蒼白的皮膚，比以前更蒼白——不，與其說蒼白，不如說像某種被抹勻的白色糊狀物，從頭到腳塗滿全身。 臉上多了幾道新鮮疤痕，看起來像韓式「西化雙眼皮手術」常見的痕跡。頭髮乾淨得過分。艾瑪史東等級的乾淨。 而且——他矮了整整六英寸。短褲幾乎垂到小腿。 「哈囉，各位美國同胞！」這位可疑的 Man Tits 對著捷兔群眾大喊， 「我是你們的老朋友——Playing For Man Tits！今天介紹我的 副兔：Yee-haw！」 Another ghoulish figure took to the stage. He had the same white, patchy complexion, but this man seemed to be shaking, and trying to hide it. He wore a Union Flag mankini, and instead of rock hard abs, appeared to have half a dozen uncooked sausages glued to his stomach. He winced as Praying For Man Tits elbowed him in the ribs. Looking at the crowd nervously, he pulled a deck of prompt cards from the crotch of his mankini. “I are last year GM: Walking Walking Talking Talking Bitching Bitching Wanking Wanking Kitchen Kitchen Cumming Cumming. Today have very new run, very amazing run in…” He paused as he turned to the next card in the deck. “…Beitou. Very new erection run.” 另一個詭異身影走上台。 同樣斑駁的慘白膚色，但這人明顯在發抖，還努力掩飾。 他穿著美國國旗的V型比基尼，本該是六塊肌的位置，卻像黏了六條沒煮熟的香腸。 Praying For Man Tits 用手肘頂了他一下，他痛得皺眉。 他緊張地從V型比基尼的胯部抽出一疊提示卡。 「我是去年的會長：Walking Walking Talking Talking Bitching Bitching Wanking Wanking Kitchen Kitchen Cumming Cumming。今天有非常新的路線，非常厲害的路線在……」 他翻到下一張卡。 「……北投。非常新的交接跑。」 The hashers murmured. Their memories were especially cloudy, and did the beer taste funny today? All past trails were a blur. Amongst them, only Shitty Shrinkage and Cockenheimer weren’t drinking. Their eyes met knowingly across the crowd. Hadn’t the erection run been and gone? They seemed to remember three consecutive Beitou runs. They wouldn’t do a fourth, right? “Yes indeed, very original trails,” interjected Globefucker, ringing his hands and sweating even more than usual, “Please, go on, respected hares!” Praying For Man Tits continued, “Now we run. Then after run you can erecting me GM!” Shitty Shrinkage’s brain composed a thought. “Isn’t he already…” His train of thought tailed off. Shadows of old memories tried to surface, but couldn’t. 捷兔跑者們開始竊竊私語。 大家記憶有點模糊。而且今天啤酒是不是怪怪的？ 過去的路線全都糊成一片。 只有 Shitty Shrinkage 和 Cockenheimer 沒在喝。 他們在人群中對視——交接跑不是早就辦過了嗎？ 好像還連續辦了三場北投？不會來第四次吧？ 「沒錯沒錯，非常原創的路線！」Globefucker 插嘴雙手緊握、汗流更多於平常。 「請繼續，尊敬的兔子們！」Praying For Man Tits 繼續說：「我們現在開始跑。跑完你們就可以開始舉辦選舉並投給我！」 Shitty Shrinkage 的大腦勉強拼湊出一個念頭。 「他不是已經……」思緒卻斷了。 舊記憶的影子試圖浮現，卻沉了回去。 And so the run was run. At each check, Xiaojiji and Comes Once A Year intuited the correct direction first time, every time. It all seemed so familiar. As the hashers returned, the strange tasting beer was ready on ice, but See You Next Week was nowhere to be seen. “Hash hash!” shouted Praying For Man Tits, “No more waiting! Pour me with beer! Make me GM!” The former GMs staggered to the stage. Teenvolf looked queasy, Cunt of the Litter was quiet, and Xiaojiji kept having to relodge the grape in his bunghole. Only Walkie Walkie appeared sober, which itself was odd. Man Tits kneeled before them, arms raised heavenwards. “He is GM,” the ex-GMs declared in a monotone chorus. But as the beer poured over Man Tits’ skin, the white came off with it, revealing an East Asian complexion. The flow of Kirin increased, and his ginger locks dislodged and fell to the floor. A wig! “It’s Wego Shooter!” shouted Shitty Shrinkage, “He’s poisoned the beer and usurped the GM!” The shock of the announcement caused the six chiploatas to fall off of Walkie Walkie’s torso. “And that’s his friend Jerry!” shouted Cockenheimer, “He must be his accomplice!”. “That’s right,” said Wego Shooter, rising to his feet, “But now I am baptized GM of Taiwan Hash. Your precious Playing For Man Tits is gone. Bow down and worship me!” *** Will Taiwan Hashers welcome Wego Shooter into their hearts as their personal Lord and Savior? Will they discover the whereabouts of Praying For Man Tits, Walkie Walkie, and See You Next Week?? Will Hairless Hero learn enough about this Just Jerry guy to develop him properly as a character??? Find out in next week’s installment of… HASH TRASH! 於是大家還是跑了。 每個岔路點，Xiaojiji 和 Comes Once A Year 都第一次就選對了方向，一切都似曾相識。 回到終點時，怪味啤酒已經冰鎮待命，但 See You Next Week 不見了。 「鬣犬們！」Praying For Man Tits 大喊， 「不要等了！用啤酒澆我！讓我當 會長！」 前任會長們蹣跚上台。 Teenvolf 看起來想吐。 Cunt of the Litter 沉默不語。 Xiaojiji 一直把掉出來的葡萄塞回去屁眼裡 只有 Walkie Walkie 看起來清醒——這本身就很詭異。 Man Tits 跪地，雙臂朝天。 「他是新任會長。」 前任會長們齊聲單調宣告。啤酒澆下去。 白色顏料開始溶解——露出東亞膚色。 麒麟啤酒越倒越多。 他的紅色頭髮滑落地板。是假髮！ 「是 Wego Shooter！」Shitty Shrinkage 大喊， 「他下毒啤酒，篡位會長！」 震驚之下，Walkie Walkie 身上的六條香腸掉了下來。 「那是他朋友 Jerry！」Cockenheimer 補刀， 「他一定是共犯！」 「沒錯。」Wego Shooter 站起來說，「現在我已經受洗成為台灣健龍的會長，你們珍貴的 Playing For Man Tits 已經消失。跪下來崇拜我吧！」 ⸻ 台灣健龍會不會接受 Wego Shooter 成為他們的救主？ Praying For Man Tits、Walkie Walkie 和 See You Next Week 在哪裡？ Hairless Hero 能不能搞清楚這個 Just Jerry 是誰，並把他好好塑造成角色？ 請鎖定下週—— 捷兔週報 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Wego Shooter Cohare 副兔: Just Jerry ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 250 m L: 10 km + Elevation/爬升: 450 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 8 March 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Qixing Park 七星公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/jnGzJJPwjPEywVmE9 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Metro to Xinbeitou Station Exit 2 捷運新北投站出口2 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 酒加菜平價海鮮熱炒 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Lam6RfgueXNRKYor9

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2648 Inquiry

When & Where

March 8, 2026 (2:00 pm) – March 8, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Qixing Park 七星公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/jnGzJJPwjPEywVmE9

Details

The battle on the Forest Moon of Shenkeng was not going well. The infiltration team of the Walker Rebellion had literally walked into a trap, set by the Emperor Once a Year. If only someone had brought chalk! Up above the clouds, the rebel fleet, the so called Sky-Walkers, were trying to engage the Drunk Star superweapon, but couldn’t penetrate its tight shield, and were being shot down by the emperor’s apprentice, Darth Vapist. 深坑森林月球之戰打得一團糟。 Walker Rebellion 的滲透小隊真的「走」進了陷阱—那是 Emperor Once a Year 精心設下的埋伏。 要是有人帶粉筆就好了！ 雲層之上，反抗軍艦隊—自稱 Sky-Walkers—正試圖攻擊終極武器 Drunk Star，卻始終無法突破那該死的緊密防護罩，還被皇帝的學徒 Darth Vapist 一架架擊落。 “I’m hit! I’m hit!” said Spaceman. “It’s a trap!” said Admiral Akbar u Fag. “Meesa mui no likey,” said annoying character Xiao Jar-Jar. Hairless Hero, the temporary leader of the Rebellion, didn’t know what to do. He rubbed his shiny scalp trying to come up with a plan. Everything had gone wrong! Jewbacca had been captured and was being shaved and interrogated by General Jizzinya. His girlfriend, Princess Elmo, had been enslaved on Tatoolumbia by the drug lord Jabba the Hippo. Even his droids, Chat3PO and Grok2D2, were useless. Everyone from Wookies to Walkie Walkies was counting on him to give them orders. Written orders. He had to write something. Anything! But what? 「我中彈了！我中彈了！」Spaceman 喊道。 「這是陷阱！」Admiral Akbar u Fag 喊道。 「偶不喜歡啦～」煩人角色 Xiao Jar-Jar 抱怨。 暫代反抗軍領袖的 Hairless Hero 完全不知道該怎麼辦。他摸著自己閃亮亮的頭皮，苦思對策。一切都出錯了！ Jewbacca 被抓走，正在被 General Jizzinya 剃毛兼拷問。 他的女友 Princess Elmo 被毒梟 Jabba the Hippo 奴役在塔圖倫比亞。 連他的機器人 Chat3PO 和 Grok2D2 都毫無用處。 從 Wookies 到 Walkie Walkies，大家都在等他下命令。書面的命令。 他必須寫點什麼。任何東西！ 但到底寫什麼？ “Use the Horniness,” said a voice. Hairless Hero turned to see the ghostly blue image of Praying for Man Tits in an open bathrobe. “The Horniness is a tension that binds the universe together. Like this,” said the ghost, inserting one finger into a circle made with his other hand. “Master Man Tits?” asked Hairless Hero, “Where are you? Are you traveling again?” “Never mind where I am,” snapped Praying for Man Tits, “just use the Horniness, and you will always have inspiration for writing. And if that fails, try movie references.” Hairless Hero thought, and thought, and finally, he got it. He had been using the wrong head. 「使用那股性衝動力。」一個聲音說。 Hairless Hero 轉身，看見 Praying for Man Tits 的幽藍鬼魂影像，穿著敞開的浴袍。 「性慾是一種把宇宙連結起來的張力。」 鬼魂說著，一隻手比出圓圈，另一根手指插進去示範。「就像這樣。」 「Man Tits 大師？」Hairless Hero 問，「你在哪？又在旅行嗎？」 「別管我在哪。」Praying for Man Tits 不耐煩地說。「享受那性吸引力，你就會有無限寫作靈感。 如果還是不行，就多用電影梗。」 Hairless Hero 思考，再思考，終於頓悟— 他一直用錯顆頭。「我要相信本能，使用性慾的力量。」他說。 “I’m going to trust my instincts and use the power of the Horn,” he said. He jumped into his spaceship, the Millennium Hare, and began fingering the buttons while grabbing his joystick. “Of course… Princess Elmo is the key! I’ll rescue her first, and everything else will fall into place! Plus, I bet she looks sexy in her plot armor!” Hairless Hero got off, took off, and set a course at 69% light speed for the white sands of Tatoolumbia. “And remember,” said Man Tits, stroking his lightsaber, “the Horniness will be with you, always!” 他跳進飛船 Millennium Hare， 一邊撥弄按鈕，一邊抓著自己的操縱桿。 「對了……Princess Elmo 才是關鍵！我先救她，一切自然迎刃而解！而且我敢打賭她穿著劇情護甲一定很辣！」 Hairless Hero 爽完、起飛、設定航向—以 69% 光速飛向塔圖倫比亞的白色沙灘。 「記住，」Man Tits 說著，一邊撫摸他的光劍， 「情慾會與你同在，永遠同在。」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Hairless Hero Cohare 副兔: Just Elmo ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 6.5 km + Elevation/爬升: 270 m L: 8.5 km + Elevation/爬升: 270 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 1 March 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 天龍宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/VVN66ZwJwBCN1BCUA ******HOW? / 怎去******* From Muzha MRT, take the 251 to Wenshan Road Section 3, or the 660 or 666 bus to Shenkeng Post Office 捷運木柵站然後搭公車251到文山路三段，或搭公車660/666到深坑郵局，然後走到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Ba Jia Restaurant 八家餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/448MbPN3GeDvp3aB6

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2647 Inquiry

When & Where

March 1, 2026 (2:00 pm) – March 1, 2026 (6:00 pm)

天龍宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/VVN66ZwJwBCN1BCUA

Details

TwH³ #2646 – Homersexual’s Oddity木馬政變-老骨灰的反攻 “Finest quality Mexican cigars!” declared 2nd Man In. He held open a box of dark brown Casa 1910s, and the Hash Committee members snatched them with their greasy hands. The Margherita Social Club was decked in Taiwan Hash flags. A banner proclaimed: “HASH COMMITTEE MONTHLY FEAST”. “Let the indulgences begin!” shouted Praying For Man Tits, “All expenses paid by hash cash!” 「頂級墨西哥雪茄！」2nd Man In 高聲宣布。 他打開一盒深褐色的 Casa 1910，捷兔幹部立刻用油膩的手一把搶光。 Margherita Social Club 掛滿台灣健龍旗幟。橫幅高掛： 「捷兔幹部月度盛宴」 「放縱開始！」Praying For Man Tits 大喊， 「全部由捷兔金庫買單！」 Servants appeared bearing platters of pheasant tacos topped with gold leaf, ibex empanadas topped with caviar, and a foot-long wagyu burrito topped with shrimps meticulously carved into tiny dicks. Doppelbänger draped herself over Pussy Magnet’s shoulder and took a gulp of Veurve Cliquot. “So I told those fucking morons the AIR bash and sarong would cost them 1100NTD per person! We can easily skim off half of that for vital Committee expenshesh…” Doppelbänger’s final word was muffled as Serial Vapist placed a quail’s egg mini-quiche onto her tongue. A voice piped up from under the table. It was Cums Once A Year, wearing a burlap sack, flanked by his starving daughters who were fighting over the pastry crumbs falling from above. “Can I get paid for my sarong design this time? Enough to get my girls some soup, perhaps?” 僕人們魚貫而入——金箔雉雞塔可、魚子醬野山羊餡餅、還有一條超長和牛捲餅，上面擺著精雕細琢成小雞雞形狀的蝦子。 Doppelbänger 靠在 Pussy Magnet 肩上，豪飲一口凱歌香檳。 「我跟那些白癡說全島島晚餐 加紗籠一人 1100 台幣！ 我們隨便就能抽一半當作重要的 幹部開銷……」 話還沒說完，Serial Vapist 把一顆鵪鶉蛋迷你鹹派塞進她嘴裡。 桌子底下傳來聲音。是 Cums Once A Year，穿著麻布袋，旁邊是兩個飢餓的女兒，正搶著從桌上掉下來的餅屑。 「這次我的紗籠設計能拿到錢嗎？至少能買碗湯給孩子……？」 Doppelbänger kicked Cums Once A Year directly in the face. “Shut up, designer! You should give US money! It’s good publicity for you.” “Perhaps we should change his name to Pays For Exposure,” said Hairless Hero. All the Committee burst into loud, entitled laughter. Doppelbänger 一腳踹在他臉上。 「閉嘴，設計師！你應該給我們錢！這對你是宣傳！」 「不然改名叫 Pays For Exposure 好了。」Hairless Hero 說。 幹部們爆出一陣自以為是的狂笑。 *** Outside, in a dark alley, an argument was in progress. “I said distract them with whores, not a horse!” shouted Homersexual. Diamond stood beside a large model horse made of popsicle sticks, remembering the hot glue burns, and the long hours of popsicle sucking. Around them, the old bastion of China Hashers looked on in confusion. “I think I can climb into its ass,” said Dragon, and he slipped up the horse’s balsa wood rectum. “Wait for me,” said Brown Owl, clawing her way up behind him. Soon the Hashers of old were forming an orderly queue: Vulture, A-Ma, Dr. Strangeglove, and a reluctant Homersexual one-by-one, up the beast’s wooden wazoo. 外頭暗巷裡，一場爭吵正在發生。 「我說用妓女分散注意力，不是馬！」Homersexual 大吼。 Diamond 站在一匹用冰棒棍做成的大型模型馬旁，回想著熱熔膠燙傷，以及那些漫長的「含冰棒」歲月。 旁邊圍著一群中國捷兔老骨灰，一臉困惑。 「我應該能從牠屁股爬進去。」Dragon 說，然後滑進那輕木直腸。 「等等我。」Brown Owl 抓著邊緣爬上去。 接著——Vulture、A-Ma、Dr.Strangeglove，甚至不太情願的 Homersexual，一個接一個鑽進那匹木馬的屁股。 “You think this will really work?” he called from inside the horse’s belly. “Hold on, my dear,” called Diamond, as she wheeled the horse and its unlikely sextuplets to the Margherita Social Club. “I’ve brought the Committee a gift!” she shouted, using the last of her strength to push the horse through the doors. “That’s a fucking weird piñata,” said 2nd Man In. “Let’s smash it!” shouted Globefucker. He grabbed the footlong burrito, and with all his strength brought it down upon the horse’s back. The Committee could hardly contain their Châteauneuf-du-Pape as the horse shattered into ten thousand pieces, and half a dozen wrinkled hashers poured out from its belly. Homersexual staggered to his feet. 「你覺得這真的有用嗎？」他從馬肚子裡喊。 「親愛的，抓好。」Diamond 說著，把馬連同那六個意外乘客推向 Margherita Social Club。 她用最後力氣把馬推進門。 「我帶禮物給幹部們！」她喊。 「這他媽是什麼怪皮納塔？」2nd Man In 說。 「砸了它！」Globefucker 大喊。 他抓起那條超長捲餅，用盡全力砸向馬背。 幹部們還來不及吞下嘴裡的教皇新堡葡萄酒，木馬已炸裂成碎片—— 六個皺巴巴的老捷兔跑者從肚子裡滾出來。 Homersexual 蹣跚站起。 “This new generation doesn’t respect the old ways of the Hash! It’s time to take back the Committee – back 50 years to be precise!” The gray-haired rabble let out a cheer, and perhaps a little urine. “Impertinance!” shouted Praying For Man Tits. “Let’s hurt him!” screamed Second Cumming. Homersexual ran out into the night. “No need to chase him,” said Praying For Man Tits, “Let the hashers pay for the privilege!” 「這新世代根本不尊重捷兔的老傳統！ 該把幹部奪回來——精準地說，倒退 50 年！」 灰髮暴民發出歡呼，順便也滲出一點尿。 「放肆！」Praying For Man Tits 怒吼。 「揍他！」Second cumming 尖叫。 Homersexual 奔入夜色。 「不用追。」Praying For Man Tits 說，「讓捷兔跑者們自己花錢買特權就好！」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Homersexual Cohare 副兔: Diamond ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 100 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 22 Feb 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Linong park 北投立農公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/SPF9JxfaBS2LEtf98 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Qilian Station Exit 2 then walk to A point 捷運唭哩岸站出口2然後走路到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Cyclamen Garden Seafood Restaurant 仙客來海鮮庭園餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/WwiG81AMmqGBLfHT8

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2646 Inquiry

When & Where

February 22, 2026 (2:00 pm) – February 22, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Linong park 北投立農公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/SPF9JxfaBS2LEtf98

Details

“Shut the fuck up!” shouted Praying For Man Tits. The down downs fell silent. “I would like to call up everyone who didn’t see my extended vacation photos on Facebook!” A gaggle of hashers, none under 70, hobbled to the stage. “What’s Facebook?” said Duplicate. “What’s photos?” said Herman. An automated projector screen descended from the temple ceiling, to hushed gasps from the crowds. Gasps crescendoed into cheers as the display flashed on with a PowerPoint presentation titled “My Meals in China and Other Insects, by Praying For Man Tits GM PhD.” “Truly, he is a god!” shouted Bamboo earnestly. “This is superior to my tenure as GM!” said Cunt of the Litter humbly. 「他媽的都給我閉嘴！」Praying For Man Tits 大吼一聲。全場噹噹瞬間安靜。 「我現在要請所有沒看過我臉書超長假期照片的人上來！」 一群捷兔跑者蹣跚走上台，沒有一個年紀低於 70。 「臉書是啥？」Duplicate 問。 「照片是啥？」Herman 接著問。 一道自動投影布幕從神殿天花板緩緩降下，全場一陣壓抑的驚呼。 當畫面亮起，驚呼瞬間變成歡呼—— 投影片標題寫著：《我在中國吃的每一餐與其他昆蟲》by Praying For Man Tits GM PhD 「他真的是神！」Bamboo 發自內心地吼道。 「這比我當 GM 的時候還屌！」Cunt of the Litter 謙虛地說。 100 meters away, on a grassy knoll with a clear line of sight to the GM, a careful observer may have noticed that the light appeared somewhat distorted, as if fractured through some kind of transparent gel. If this observer was curious enough, and foolish enough, to approach and touch the area of disturbance, they would have felt the cold titanium exoskeletons of two exterminator robots disguised by active stealth camouflage: Call Me BB and Hunt-643. “Target acquired and locked,” Call Me BB transmitted through a shared aural interface. “Use me, BB,” said Hunt-643, “It is my purpose to be used in accordance with the mission. Eliminate Praying For Man Tits. BEEP!” Still cloaked by light-bending armor, Hunt-643’s bionic limbs bent at inhuman angles, locking into cavities along his torso. His neck bent back a full 90 degrees, and from his mouth emerged a powerful laser cannon. His prehensile member, composed of interlocking metal segments, curved to form a trigger. Call Me BB gripped his comrade-cum-cannon, pointed him at the GM, and squeezed the trigger. Praying For Man Tits was halfway through explaining how to butcher a grasshopper, when he was suddenly struck by a sustained beam of bright white light. But pierce his flesh it did not. 一百公尺外，一座小草坡上，若有夠細心、又夠白目的觀察者，會注意到光線似乎有點扭曲，像是被某種透明凝膠折射。如果這個人好奇心爆棚、智商歸零，走上前去摸了一下—— 他會摸到兩具冰冷的鈦合金外骨骼。 那是兩台披著主動隱身偽裝的滅殺機器人： Call Me BB 與 Hunt-643。 「目標鎖定完成。」Call Me BB 透過共享聽覺介面傳送訊息。 「使用我吧，BB。」Hunt-643 說， 「我存在的目的就是依任務被使用。消滅 Praying For Man Tits。逼！」 在光線彎折裝甲的掩護下，Hunt-643 的仿生肢體以非人角度折疊，卡進軀幹的凹槽；他的脖子整個向後彎了 90 度，一門強力雷射砲從嘴裡伸出。 而他那由金屬節片構成、可自由彎曲的部件，彎成了一個扳機。 Call Me BB 抓起他的「戰友兼武器」，瞄準 GM，扣下扳機。 Praying For Man Tits 正講到怎麼處理蚱蜢，胸口突然被一道持續的亮白雷射擊中—— 但，完全打不進去。 “He is truly the Chosen One,” shouted The Leash, “None but Tiny Balls shall penetrate him, for he is pure!” The laser continued to drive into the GM’s chest, but to no avail. “It’s not working!” shouted Call Me BB. Due to the commotion, and their linear processing units, neither he nor Hunt-643 noticed the time portal open directly above their heads. Nor did they notice two more killer cyborgs, Garmin Terminator and JustRolla-500, emerge on their own mission to destroy the GM. Garmin Terminator landed hard on Call Me BB, disabling both the laser beam and the camouflage. The hashers charged the robots. Call Me BB and Hunt-643 took flight. “On on!” shouted Praying For Man Tits, “ON ON!” 「他真的是天選之人！」The Leash 大喊， 「除了 Tiny Balls，沒人能進得了他，因為他是純潔的！」 雷射持續灌進 GM 的胸口，依然毫無效果。 「不行！沒用！」Call Me BB 大喊。 由於現場太吵，加上他們線性處理單元的限制，兩台機器人都沒注意到—— 一個時間傳送門在他們正上方打開了。 也沒注意到另外兩名殺手機器人 Garmin Terminator 與 JustRolla-500 為了同一個任務現身：摧毀 GM。 Garmin Terminator 重重落在 Call Me BB 身上，瞬間癱瘓了雷射與迷彩。 捷兔跑者們一擁而上衝向機器人。 Call Me BB 與 Hunt-643 立刻升空逃離。 「ON ON！」Praying For Man Tits 高喊， 「ON ON！」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Call Me BB Cohare 副兔: Hunt-643 ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 450 m L: 9 km + Elevation/爬升: 600 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 15 Feb 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Dagouxi Waterfront Park 大溝溪生態治水園區 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Pcd76gKJrQ7BqRzH8 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Dahu Park Exit 1 then walk 10 minutes to A point 捷運大湖公園站出口1然後走路十分鐘到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Shuizhong Xian Restaurant 水中鮮餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/dQADTHNattnYGhM89

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When & Where

February 15, 2026 (2:00 pm) – February 15, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Dagouxi Waterfront Park 大溝溪生態治水園區 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Pcd76gKJrQ7BqRzH8

Details

There were in Tucheng two shepherds, Get By and Get Lost, abiding in the field, washing their cocks by night. And, lo, the Angel of the Hash came upon them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, “Fear not. I am Just Gay-briel, and I bring tidings of great joy. Your GM hath returned from his vacation to actually do his job, and his name shall be PRAYING FOR MAN TITS.” 那時，在土城有兩位牧羊人，名叫 Get by 與 Get lost，三更半夜在田野中洗著他們的雞雞。 忽然，哈希 的天使顯現到他們面前，他們嚇到皮皮挫。 天使對他們說：「不要怕，我是 Just Gay-briel，我要帶給你們大喜的消息：你們的會長終於從度假回來，真的要開始做事了，他的名字叫做 Praying For Man Tits。」 Get By and Get Lost did shake, for it was mighty cold and the cock washing was having its effect. Just Gay-briel waved his tiny wand and before them, on the trail, appeared markings of golden flour. When the shepherds saw the flour, they rejoiced with exceeding drunk joy, and in the skies with the angel appeared a multitude of heavenly hashers and the Show Holy Ghost, praising the GM, singing “On on! Praying For Man Tits is come!” “Hashelujah! He is come!” cried Get By. “Where am I?” cried Get Lost. And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, Get Lost sayeth unto Get By, “Let us follow the flour, and along the way fuck it up with checks of temptation to guide their feet into the shiggy!” And Get By did reply, “But as the trail is ballbreakingly long, let us also provide an aid station to give snacks to them that run in tiredness.” Get by 與 Get lost 全身發抖——因為真的很冷，而且夜間洗雞雞的副作用正在發作。 Just Gay-briel 揮動他那支小小的魔杖，於是路上出現了一道道金黃色的麵粉標記。 牧羊人一看到麵粉，便大大歡喜，醉到靈魂升天；同時，天空中出現一大群天上的捷兔跑者們，還有 Show Holly的鬼魂，一起讚美 GM，高唱： 「阿~~~~阿~~~Praying For Man Tits 降臨啦！」 「哈希路亞！他來了！」Get by 高喊。 「我在哪？」Get lost 也高喊。 天使們升天之後，Get lost 對 Get by 說： 「來吧，我們跟著麵粉走，順便沿路放滿誘惑的謎題，把他們引進最靠北的草叢！」 Get by 回答說：「但這破蛋路線長到靠北，我們也該設個補給站，餵食那些跑到靈魂出竅的哈希人。」 They departed; and, lo, the flour, which they saw on the ground, went before them, till they came and stood over the babe, Praying For Man Tits. And when they were come, they saw the GM, and fell down, and worshipped him among the animals. And the GM said unto them “Goo goo ga ga!” for he still had food poisoning from eating donkey meat and locusts, and his diaper needed changing. “That angel really hyped this guy up,” said Get Lost. The GM smileth up at them with a big beardy smile. “On second thoughts, let’s do another loop,” said Get By. 於是他們出發了。看哪，那麵粉一路在前引導他們，直到他們來到那嬰孩——Praying For Man Tits 所在之處。 他們看見會長，就在動物們中間俯伏敬拜。 會長對他們說：「咕咕嘎嘎！」 因為他剛吃了驢肉和蝗蟲，食物中毒，尿布也該換了。 「那天使真的把這傢伙捧太高了吧。」Get lost 說。 會長抬頭對他們露出一個大鬍子燦笑。 「再想想，我們還是再跑一圈好了。」Get by 說 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Get By Cohare 副兔: Get Lost ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 8 km + Elevation / 爬升: 400 m L: 13 km + Elevation / 爬升: 650 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 8 Feb 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Daqingshui Sports Park 大清水運動公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/WBvf2q18hsNAaQMJA ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take MRT to Tucheng Station #3 exit, and take the Blue17 to “Shu Shin Bou Creative Wagashi Culture Pavilion” 捷運土城站出口3然後公車藍17到手信坊文化館然後走路到A點 Take the MRT Haishan Station #2 exit and ride the UBIKE to here–>YouBike station: 清水高中(國際路) 捷運海山站出口2然後騎YouBike到清水高中(國際路)然後走路到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 土城珍大王石頭雞 https://maps.app.goo.gl/whtd7S12S6QqhxfH7

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When & Where

February 8, 2026 (2:00 pm) – February 8, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Daqingshui Sports Park 大清水運動公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/WBvf2q18hsNAaQMJA

Details

The streets of Keelung were awash with seamen. In the smoke-filled taverns, old Taipei Hashers raised their voices with hash songs half forgotten, their lips spumy with beer and good humor. At the scalloped-edge harbor, Panty Pirate and Globelfucker unloaded exotic booty for market. On Check Street, Juicy Kumsquat hawked her melons. Jam Rag sang praises of her questionable preserves. The eminently Talented Mr. Nipply Esq. sat etching Nutsniffer who posed in her Sunday best petticoat. Away from the hustle and bustle, down a quiet side alley, Sheman cast a swift, dark shadow. He came to a narrow doorway and stopped. After checking over his shoulder, he ducked inside. The vestibule within contained a carved hardwood desk and chair that filled half the room. Upon the desk sat a dog-eared ledger. Upon the chair sat Horny Mama, the proprietress. 基隆的街道，被滿滿的水手淹沒了。 煙霧繚繞的酒館裡，老台北捷兔跑者們 扯著早就忘一半歌詞的哈希歌鬼吼鬼叫，嘴角全是啤酒泡沫與莫名的好心情。在港邊那鋸齒狀的碼頭，Panty Pirate 和 Globelfucker 正把各地搜刮來的異國戰利品卸貨準備賣錢。謎題街上，Juicy Kumsquat 正在兜售她的「哈密瓜」；Jam Rag 則唱著她那可疑保存食品的讚歌。德高望重 Talented Mr. Nipply 先生坐在一旁刻畫著 Nutsniffer，而後者穿著她禮拜天才會穿的最佳襯裙，乖乖擺拍。 遠離喧囂，在一條安靜的小巷裡，Sheman 投下迅速而陰暗的身影。他在一扇狹窄的門前停下，左右張望後，鑽了進去。 裡頭的小前廳只擺得下一張雕花硬木桌和一張椅子，佔了半個空間。桌上放著一本翻到起毛邊的帳冊，椅子上坐著 Horny Mama，本店老闆娘。 “I’ve come to gets me some Tiny Balls,” growled Sheman. “Sheman, a pleasure to have you frequent us again,” replied Horny Mama, her thick makeup cracked as she smiled. “We needn’t exchange pleasantries, Missus. Kindly serve up the goods and I’ll pay you.” Sheman took out a drawstring coin purse from his shabby waistcoat and nimbly plucked out a florin. “He ain’t here, Sheman. No-one’s seen Tiny Balls since the Erection Run. Believe you me, I’m as disappointed as you are. That lad was our best earner.” Horny Mama opened the ledger. “However we have some alternatives that will more than satisfy.” 「我來拿點 Tiny Balls。」Sheman 咕噥道。 「Sheman，你又來照顧我們生意，真是榮幸啊。」Horny Mama 咧嘴一笑，濃妝裂開得像乾掉的牆漆。 「廢話少說，夫人。貨上來，我付錢。」 Sheman 從他那件破背心裡掏出一個抽繩錢袋，俐落地拈出一枚弗羅林銀幣。 「他不在了，Sheman。自從交接跑之後就沒人看過 Tiny Balls。說真的，我跟你一樣失望，那小子可是我們的金雞母。」Horny Mama 翻開帳冊。「不過嘛，我們還有替代方案，保證讓你滿意。」 The side door slid open and three young men in leather shorts shuffled into the already cramped room. “Good day, sir,” squawked the first, “My name is Sharty Gaybow.” He smiled badly, paused, did a curtsy, and looked at Horny Mama for approval. “You looks like you’d enjoy it too much, lad,” said Sheman, still playing with his silver coin. The second man stepped forward. “My name is Clitoryseus. I will treat you like an Adonis.” “I ain’t never been one for the Classics,” smirked Sheman. His eyes turned to the third man, who played nervously with a strap on his Lederhosen. “Horny Mama, who’s this morsel?” “This is our newest offering: Never Been Dicked.” “Never say never, eh lad?” “Two florins for this one, Sheman. First man in.” 側門滑開，三個穿著皮短褲的年輕男人擠進本來就不大的房間。 「午安，先生，」第一個尖聲說道，「我叫 Sharty Gaybow。」 他尷尬地笑了笑，停頓了一下，行了個屈膝禮，然後偷瞄 Horny Mama 看有沒有演對。 「你這種一看就會玩得太開心，小子。」Sheman 邊說邊把玩他的銀幣。第二個人走上前。 「我叫 Clitoryseus，我會把你當成阿多尼斯伺候。」 「我從來就不迷古典派。」Sheman 冷笑。接著他把目光轉向第三個人，那人緊張地抓著自己 Lederhosen 上的皮帶。「Horny Mama，這塊小點心是誰？」 「我們最新的貨色：Never Been Dicked。」 「Never 說得太早啦，小子，是吧？」 「這個兩枚弗羅林，Sheman。新貨第一個。」 Sheman drew close to Never Been Dicked, inhaling deeply. He looked down, smiled, and put three silver coins on the desk. “I pay extra and you don’t ask no questions, hear?” Horny Mama scribbled in the ledger with a peacock quill but her hand was suddenly jolted and the ink well spilled across the page as Never Been Dicked sprinted out of the door, into the alley, and towards the Sunday market crowds. “Oh I do likes it when they run,” said Sheman. “I’m hot on your heels, lad!” The door swung on its hinges as he took after the escapee. Then Sharty Gaybow peed his pants and cried. The end. Sheman 湊近 Never Been Dicked，深深吸了一口氣，低頭一看，笑了，然後在桌上放了三枚銀幣。 「我加錢，你什麼都別問，懂？」 Horny Mama 用孔雀羽毛筆在帳冊上飛快寫著，卻突然手一抖，墨水瓶翻倒，整頁全毀——因為 Never Been Dicked 已經衝出門外，竄進小巷，往星期天市集的人群狂奔而去。 「我最愛他們逃跑了。」Sheman 說。「小子，我來啦！」 他一腳踹開門，追了出去。 接著，Sharty Gaybow 嚇到尿褲子，開始哭。 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Never Been Dicked Cohare 副兔: Sheman ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 350 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 1 Feb 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Bridge next to Keelung City Renai District Office 基隆市仁愛區公所旁邊的橋下 https://maps.app.goo.gl/nNnRwsDsqxr5zNX27 ******HOW? / 怎去******* TRA train to Sankeng station then walk. Parking available 火車到三坑火車站然後走路到A點. 可停車 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBD

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2643 Inquiry

When & Where

February 1, 2026 (2:00 pm) – February 1, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Bridge next to Keelung City Renai District Office 基隆市仁愛區公所旁邊的橋下 https://maps.app.goo.gl/nNnRwsDsqxr5zNX27

Details

各位 Hashers 注意 本次路線中將安排一個「溫泉泡湯休息點」（男女分浴、裸湯形式）。 欲參加的朋友請自行準備： 毛巾、100 元現金（入場費80元、置物櫃20元、吹風機10元/4分鐘） 毛巾與費用將於起跑前統一收集保管，並於湯屋外發還袋子給大家使用。 不想泡湯的朋友可直接返回集合點休息，不影響活動進行。 Attention Hashers There will be a hot spring stop on the trail (separate baths for men and women, nude bath). If you would like to join, please prepare: One towel and NT$100 in cash (entrance fee+locker fee), properly packed together and labelled with your name Towels and fees will be collected before the run and towels will be returned outside the hot spring before entering. If you prefer not to join, you may go directly back to the meeting point and rest there. ********** “Lower the drawbridge! Make way for our esteemed guest!” cried Doppelbänger. Crowds of hashers manned ropes and tugged pulleys. A wooden footbridge descended to the grand entrance. Above it shone the lantern-lit words: Hash ‘n’ Splash Bathhouse. Hashers huddled to catch a view, gasping in horror as Doppelbänger’s guest made his slow approach. Never had they seen a pussy so dry, so arid, so unmoist. The giant, desiccated abalone lurched grimly forwards though the main doors. Doppelbänger stood firm in the reception hall. If she felt the other hashers’ panic, she wasn’t letting it show. She knew a quick dollar when she saw one. She looked firmly between the parched labia and smiled. 「放下吊橋！恭迎我們尊貴的來賓！」Doppelbänger 高聲吶喊。 一群捷兔跑者抓著繩索、猛拉滑輪，一座木製吊橋慢慢降到豪華入口前。上方在燈籠光下閃閃發亮的字樣寫著：哈希咸濕澡堂 捷兔跑著們擠成一團圍觀，當 Doppelbänger 的客人慢慢靠近時，全場倒抽一口冷氣，嚇到集體乾掉。 他們這輩子從沒見過這麼乾的 pussy——乾到像沙漠、乾到像木乃伊、乾到連「濕」這個字都會跟他絕交。 那巨大又風乾的鮑魚拖著沉重步伐穿過大門。 Doppelbänger 穩穩站在接待大廳中央。就算她感受到其他捷兔跑者的恐慌，她也假裝沒事。她知道，乾成這樣＝有錢可賺。 她盯著那對龜裂的陰唇，看得非常專業，然後露出商業微笑。 “Welcome, Dry Pussy! It’s an honor to serve you today.” Dry Pussy emitted a withered queef. It sounded like hot sand on an old newspaper. “Yes, we shall get you lubed up in no time, Mr. Pussy.” Doppelbänger saw someone young and impressionable in a Hash Cash t-shirt, and immediately grabbed her by the collar. “Young lady, show this fine pussy to the largest bath we have,” Doppelbänger instructed, with a less friendly tone. “Mmmmm, yes, oh god YES!” said Always Turned On. 「歡迎光臨，Dry Pussy！今天能為你服務真是我們的榮幸。」 Dry Pussy 發出一聲風乾版陰屁，聽起來就像熱沙灑在老報紙上。 「別擔心啦，Pussy 先生，我們很快就會把你濕潤到像颱風天。」 Doppelbänger 瞄到一個穿著 捷兔給我錢 T-shirt、看起來年輕又好騙的哈希妹，立刻一把揪住她的衣領。 「小姐，帶這位高級 pussy 去我們最大的浴池。」她的語氣比潤滑油還不友善。 「對對對～噢天啊就是這樣！」Always Turned On 興奮到快融化。 “Erm…okay,” said Doppelbänger, surprised by the hasher’s enthusiasm, “And take this token to Dr. Binlang. It’s for his deluxe herbal conditioner.” “Give it to me, give it to me!” Always Turned On ejaculated as she tugged the wooden rectangle out of Doppelbänger’s hands. She ran upstairs, panting, to the apothecary, peering round the doorframe to see Dr. Binlang mixing and ingesting various stimulants. She revealed herself to him, and handed him the token. “Take it! Yeah, you like that, don’t you, daddy?” said Always Turned On. “Yes, this is for a very fancy herbal lubricant. Perhaps my best work. And you are also right, I am a proud father.” He attached the token to a cord hanging above his desk, and pulled hard. The cord and the token shot up and disappeared through a small opening in the ceiling. 「呃…好啦…」Doppelbänger 被她的熱情嚇到，「順便把這個木牌拿給 Dr. Binlang，是他的豪華草本潤滑配方。」 「給我給我給我～～～！」Always Turned On 一邊高潮式尖叫，一邊從 Doppelbänger 手裡搶走那塊木牌。 她氣喘吁吁衝上樓，衝進藥房，看到 Dr. Binlang 正在調藥。 她從門框後面探出身子，把木牌遞給他。「拿去啦～你喜歡這樣對吧，daddy～」 「這是頂級草本潤滑劑，也許是我畢生最偉大的作品。而且你說得對，我確實是個驕傲的爸爸。」他把木牌掛到桌上方的一條繩子上，用力一拉。繩子和木牌瞬間被吸進天花板的小洞裡。 Downstairs, a bamboo chute suddenly gushed with warm Kirin Beer and betelnut, pouring all over Dry Pussy and filling his bath. Yet somehow he was still as dry as a sun-baked persimmon. Just then, Always Turned On saw a glittering buttplug peeking out of Dry Pussy’s eczematic undercarriage, from some kind of proto-anus. Always Turned On took it in both hands and pulled with all her might. “Mmmmnnnngggggg! Like that! Don’t stop!” Plop! Out came the buttplug, and attached to it, out came 50 years of Taiwan Hash lost property pouring violently out of Dry Pussy’s insides. As the steam cleared, Dry Pussy had transformed into a sylphlike, very wet Taiwanese man. He grabbed a bag of talcum powder, and ran out of the bathhouse, into the hills of Jiaoxi. “That mutherfucker didn’t pay!” yelled Doppelbänger. “After him!” 樓下， 一條竹製滑槽突然噴出溫熱的麒麟啤酒和檳榔汁，整個灑在 Dry Pussy 身上，灌滿他的浴池。 然而奇蹟沒有發生——他依然乾得像被太陽烤過的柿子。 就在這時，Always Turned On 注意到 Dry Pussy 那長滿濕疹的屁股裡， 某個原始肛門般的地方，露出一顆閃亮亮的肛塞。 她雙手抓住，用盡全身力氣一拉—— 「喔喔喔喔喔喔喔～就這樣！不要停～～～！」 啵！ 肛塞被拔了出來，連帶噴出來的，是 50 年台灣 哈希遺失物， 像洪水一樣從 Dry Pussy 體內狂洩而出。 煙霧散去後，Dry Pussy 竟然變成了一個身材纖細、全身濕到不行的台灣男子。 他抓起一袋爽身粉，一路衝出澡堂，逃進礁溪的山裡。 「那個王八蛋沒付錢！」 Doppelbänger 怒吼。「追他！！！」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Dry Pussy Cohare 副兔: Always Turned On ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 6.5 km + Elevation / 爬升: 350 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 25 Jan 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Paomagudao Park 跑馬古道公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/yVrxPZjeV7tTfcEt9 ******HOW? / 怎去******* 1. Take 1915 bus from Banqiao train station, Taipei bus station or Technology building MRT to Jiaoxi Transfer Station then walk 20 minutes to the run start 2. Take 1572 bus from Taipei City hall bus station to Jiaoxi Transfer Station then walk 20 minutes to the run start 1. 公車1915從板橋站，或台北轉運站,或捷運科技大樓站到礁溪轉運站然後走路20分鐘到A點 2. 公車1572從市府轉運站到礁溪轉運站然後走路20分鐘到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 北海岸鵝肉快炒 https://maps.app.goo.gl/VrsTvaHqM1FhpQec7

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2642 Inquiry

When & Where

January 25, 2026 (2:00 pm) – January 25, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Paomagudao Park 跑馬古道公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/yVrxPZjeV7tTfcEt9

Details

BROOKLYN, NEW YORK JAN. 11, 2001 Bolts of electricity crackled in the space between two lampposts. A dark portal from the future spiraled open. With a flash, two robots spawned into being. Garmin Terminator, naked and muscular on the hot tarmac, and the JustRolla 500, a state-of-the-art Flour Disbursal Unit. They scanned the shocked and quietly aroused New Yorkers gathering around them. “BEEP! How about we get you some clothes and boots?” said the JustRolla. “Negative,” replied Garmin Terminator. “We proceed with the mission: terminate the Taiwan Hash GM before he reaches adulthood. Scan 100 meters in all directions. He’s nearby.” “BEEP! CHECKING!” replied JustRolla, her dosing spout depositing a mound of flour onto the sidewalk. Down the street, Praying For Man Tits waited at the bus stop, feeding his Tamagochi. His life was about to turn upside down. 紐約-布魯克林 2001.1.11 兩盞路燈之間電流狂竄，閃得像有人在偷接電表。一個來自未來、違反所有酒後物理定律的黑色時空洞，硬生生在布魯克林街頭打開。 啪！兩個東西出現了。 一個是Garmin Terminator——全裸、爆肌的完美身材，站在滾燙的柏油路 另一個是 Just Rolla 500——一台最先進的麵粉投放機 圍觀的紐約客震驚、沉默，並且有點奇怪地被撩到了。 「嗶！要不要先找點衣服穿？至少鞋子？」Just Rolla 語氣貼心。 「不用了!。」Garmin Terminator 冷冷地說，「任務第一。終極目標：在台灣 哈希會長成長茁壯之前終結他。掃描一百公尺。那傢伙就在附近。」 「嗶！掃描中！」Just Rolla 一邊回應，一邊很 Hash 地直接在路邊灑了一大坨麵粉，完全沒管 trail 合不合理。 就在同一條街上，Praying For Man Tits 正站在公車站，專心餵他的電子雞。 他不知道——這將是他最後一次過著「還不是 會長」的平凡人生。 *** NEIHU, TAIWAN JAN. 11 2026 Hairless Hero is bravely entertaining the hashers with a selection of sci-fi themed Down Downs. The GM is inexplicably absent, and he isn’t checking his Facebook messages. “Don’t sweat, folks. I’ve got some 90s film references that will blow your socks off!” he says, desperately. “Boo!” says literally everyone. “Where is Praying For Man Tits? We need our GM!” Hairless Hero realizes the only force strong enough to keep the GM from his beloved Taiwan Hash is his arch nemesis: Garmin Terminator. Ducking tomatoes and beer cans, he runs to the parking lot. 內湖-台灣 2026.1.11 Hash 現場一片混亂。 Hairless Hero 正硬著頭皮撐場，帶著一堆「其實只有他自己覺得好笑」的科幻主題 噹噹。GM 不見了!Line 不讀不回。Facebook完全沒上線。 這在哈希裡基本等同世界末日。 「別擔心啦各位！」Hairless Hero 笑得非常心虛，「我還有一堆 90 年代電影梗，保證讓你們——」 「噓噓噓噓噓噓噓噓~~~~~~~~~」全場一致，毫不留情表達著不滿。 「我們要 會長！」「Praying For Man Tits 在哪？」 Hairless Hero 突然靈光一閃。 唯一能讓 GM 消失的存在——只有那個傳說中的宿敵：Garmin Terminator。 在番茄、啤酒罐、還有不知道誰丟的舊 哈希 T-shirt 攻擊下，Hairless Hero 轉身狂奔，衝向停車場。 *** BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, AGAIN JAN. 11, 2001 As Praying For Man Tits searched for his bus pass, he looked up to see a totally ripped mandroid and what looked like a minifridge sprinting straight towards him. A Ford Fiesta screeched to a halt at the bus stop. “Get in, GM!” said Hairless Hero. ‘GM’? Praying For Man Tits looked back at the gun-wielding guy-borg. This wasn’t time to ask questions. He ran towards the bald stranger’s car, just as a shotgun shell ripped through his backpack, exploding in a cloud of Pokémon cards and D20s. Man Tits scrambled into the passenger seat, and Hairless Hero put his foot down. “You okay, kid?” “Zoiks! I think so. Who are those hunks of metal? And where are you taking me?” “That was Garmin Terminator and the JustRolla 500. They wanna blow your brains out. I’m taking you to 2026.” “Will we be safe there?” “That bro-bot and his sidekick are sure to follow, but don’t worry. Reinforcements will be waiting for us. Soon the hunters will become the hunted.” “These reinforcements… Are they your army or something?” “No kid. They’re yours.” *** 又回到紐約-布魯克林 2001.1.11 Praying For Man Tits 正低頭找他的公車票。 一抬頭——一個全裸猛男機器人，和一台像是迷你冰箱的東西，正朝他狂奔而來。 這畫面非常不合理，而且非常不妙。 一輛 福特嘉年華尾急煞在公車站前。 「快上車，會長！」Hairless Hero 大吼。 「會長？」 Praying For Man Tits 來不及細想，因為 Garmin Terminator 已經舉起武器。 砰！霰彈槍子彈直接打穿他的背包。 寶可夢卡、20面 骰，在空中炸開。 「靠北——！」Man Tits 一個翻滾跳進副駕駛座，Hairless Hero 油門踩到底。 「你還活著嗎，小子？」 「應該吧！剛剛那是什麼鬼？那兩個是誰？」 「Garmin Terminator，還有 JustRolla 500。他們想殺你。」 「為什麼？」 「因為你未來會成為台灣哈希會長。」 「……蛤？」 「我們要去 2026。」 「那裡安全嗎？」 「不安全，但至少有酒、有哈希、還有人會幫你。」 Praying For Man Tits 吞了口口水。 「那些援軍……是你的部隊？」 Hairless Hero 咧嘴一笑。「不是，小子。」 「那是你的哈希。」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Garmin Terminator Cohare 副兔: Just Rolla ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/ 爬升: 430 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 11 Jan 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 內溝溪觀景涼亭 https://maps.app.goo.gl/GpeVpCejZrmEJKcR6 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Nangang then Bus 281 to Nanliao then walk to the run start 捷運南港站然後公搭車小1到奇頭然後走到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBD

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2640 Inquiry

When & Where

January 11, 2026 (2:00 pm) – January 11, 2026 (2:00 pm)

內溝溪觀景涼亭 https://maps.app.goo.gl/GpeVpCejZrmEJKcR6

Details

Just Mark held still as Serial Vapist lowered the VR headset over his eyes. “Prepare yourself, buddy. You’re about to cohare the first full immersion VR Hash,” said Serial Vapist, his voice muffled by the integrated noise canceling headphones penetrating Just Mark’s earholes. Just Mark 一動也不動地站著，任由 Serial Vapist 把 VR 頭盔慢慢罩到他臉上。 「準備好了嗎，老兄？你即將 成為副兔 史上第一個全沉浸式 VR 哈希。」 Serial Vapist 說，聲音被那副內建降噪、還很用力塞進 Just Mark 耳洞裡的耳機搞得悶悶的。 “Were the straps really necessary?” Just Mark called out. “You don’t want to act out the simulation in real life.” Serial Vapist let out a chuckle, but it sounded fake. Just Mark felt something cover his mouth. Duct tape? “Just part of the haptic interface,” Vapist’s voice whispered. His voice was in the earpieces now. “Breathe easy, my yawntutsyìp.” 「呃……真的有必要把我綁成這樣嗎？」Just Mark 喊道。 「你不會想把模擬內容帶到現實生活裡演出。」 Serial Vapist 乾笑了一聲——假到不行。 Just Mark 感覺有東西貼上他的嘴。膠帶？ 「這只是觸覺介面的一部分。」Vapist 的聲音在他耳機裡低聲說， 「放輕鬆呼吸，我的小美人。」 Darkness. Silence. Then a world flickered into life before Mark’s eyes. A trail unlike any on Earth. Knotted, throbbing vines hung heavy across trees as tall as skyscrapers. A dirt path winded gently downhill, begging to be run upon. “This is magic!” Just Mark thought to himself. He looked down to check out his body, but it was gone. In its place, a weird blue horse. 黑暗。寂靜。 接著，世界在他眼前亮了起來。一條地球上從未存在過的路線。 粗壯、糾結、微微搏動的藤蔓垂掛在摩天大樓般高的樹上。 一條土路緩緩向下蜿蜒，彷彿在低聲說：來跑我啊。 「這也太魔幻了吧！」Just Mark 在心裡吶喊。 他低頭想看看自己的身體——沒有了。 取而代之的，是一匹詭異的藍色馬。 His arms had become muscular forelegs. His hands were now hooves of insensate keratin. He tried to reach up and feel his long face, his tiny laterized eyes, the two long antennae growing out of his head, but instead he reared onto his hind legs. He tried to curse, but the words would not form themselves, and came out as a bestial roar. He landed on all fours again. Before him stood Serial Vapist, his skin a bright azure, his eyes huge and reptilian. “He’s one of those fucking Avatars!” thought Mark, “That creep has turned me into his fucking nerdhorse…” “Pa’li! Oeng tsaheyl sìyi,” said Serial Vapist, walking towards Mark with reins and bridle in his hand. Mark tried to turn and run, but he was clumsy in his new body. He fell heavily into the alien dust. 他的手臂變成結實的前腿； 雙手變成毫無知覺的角質蹄子。 他想摸摸自己那張拉長的臉、那對小小側向的眼睛、還有頭上冒出來的兩根長觸角—— 結果卻直接後腳站立。 他想罵髒話，卻只發出一聲野獸般的嘶吼。他重重落回四肢著地。 眼前站著 Serial Vapist——皮膚亮藍、眼睛巨大又像爬蟲類。 「靠……他是那種該死的阿凡達！」 Mark 心想，「那個變態把我變成他的宅宅藍馬了……」 「Pa’li! Oeng tsaheyl sìyi。」Serial Vapist 一邊說，一邊拿著韁繩和馬勒走向他。 Mark 想轉身逃跑，但新身體完全不聽使喚， 一個踉蹌，臉朝下摔進外星塵土裡。 “Syor… Tìng oe ngeyä tswin!” the blue Vapist declared, standing over Mark. From this angle, his loincloth was at best insufficient. Mark couldn’t even close his eyes as Serial Vapist’s legs wrapped around his thick neck. He felt Vapist’s braid seek out the antennae on his own head. They intertwined like mating snakes. Mark felt his identity disappearing. “Is this what hashing is?” he thought, as Vapist’s memories, mostly of erotic Avatar fan-fiction and Czech New Wave cinema, flooded his head. Vapist’s carnal desires became his own. He rose, with his new master perched atop his back. Vapist kicked his flank and tugged his mane. “Pa’li! Tul nìwin!” Vapist shouted. Just Mark understood now. Vapists thoughts were his thoughts. He galloped down the trail as fast as he could. Soon the hounds would follow. 「放輕鬆⋯ 給我你的辮子！」 藍色 Vapist 站在他上方宣告。從這個角度看，那塊纏腰布怎麼看都防護不足。 Mark 連閉眼都辦不到，Serial Vapist 的雙腿已經夾住他粗壯的脖子。 他感覺 Vapist 的辮子尋找著自己頭上的觸角——兩者纏繞在一起，像正在交配的蛇。 Mark 感覺自我正在消失。 「這……就是哈希 嗎？」Vapist 的記憶湧入他的腦海—— 大多是色情版阿凡達同人文，還有捷克新浪潮電影。 Vapist 的慾望，變成了他的慾望。 他站了起來，新主人騎在他背上。Vapist 踢了踢他的側腹，拉扯他的鬃毛。 「跑快點！恐馬」Vapist 大吼。 Just Mark 懂了。Vapist 的想法，就是他的想法。 他沿著路線狂奔起來，速度快到不能再快。 很快地，獵犬們就會追上來。 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Serial Vapist Cohare 副兔: Just Mark ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7.5 km + Elevation / 爬升: 300 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 18 Jan 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Tianmu Park 天母公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/BLLTvnkz2fBrvMkm6 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Shipai then take any of multiple buses (508, S36, 224, etc) then walk to A point 捷運石牌站然後可以搭很多公車（508， S36，224，等等）然後走路到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Cyclamen Garden Seafood Restaurant 仙客來海鮮庭園餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/LjK92j5YghXekT4z7

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2641 Inquiry

When & Where

January 18, 2026 (2:00 pm) – January 18, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Tianmu Park 天母公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/BLLTvnkz2fBrvMkm6