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Praying For Man Tits looked… different. His pasty skin was pastier than usual. In fact, it had the consistency of some kind of smeared paste, covering him from head to toe. Fresh facial scars matched those typical of Korean “Westernization” eye surgery. His hair was clean. Too clean. Emma Stone clean. And he was about six inches shorter than everyone remembered, meaning his shorts went down almost to his shins. “Howdy, fellow Americans,” shouted the questionable Man Tits, addressing the crowd of hashers, “I am your old friend, Playing For Man Tits. I would like to introduce my cohare. Yee-haw!” Praying For Man Tits 看起來……不太一樣。 他那原本就蒼白的皮膚，比以前更蒼白——不，與其說蒼白，不如說像某種被抹勻的白色糊狀物，從頭到腳塗滿全身。 臉上多了幾道新鮮疤痕，看起來像韓式「西化雙眼皮手術」常見的痕跡。頭髮乾淨得過分。艾瑪史東等級的乾淨。 而且——他矮了整整六英寸。短褲幾乎垂到小腿。 「哈囉，各位美國同胞！」這位可疑的 Man Tits 對著捷兔群眾大喊， 「我是你們的老朋友——Playing For Man Tits！今天介紹我的 副兔：Yee-haw！」 Another ghoulish figure took to the stage. He had the same white, patchy complexion, but this man seemed to be shaking, and trying to hide it. He wore a Union Flag mankini, and instead of rock hard abs, appeared to have half a dozen uncooked sausages glued to his stomach. He winced as Praying For Man Tits elbowed him in the ribs. Looking at the crowd nervously, he pulled a deck of prompt cards from the crotch of his mankini. “I are last year GM: Walking Walking Talking Talking Bitching Bitching Wanking Wanking Kitchen Kitchen Cumming Cumming. Today have very new run, very amazing run in…” He paused as he turned to the next card in the deck. “…Beitou. Very new erection run.” 另一個詭異身影走上台。 同樣斑駁的慘白膚色，但這人明顯在發抖，還努力掩飾。 他穿著美國國旗的V型比基尼，本該是六塊肌的位置，卻像黏了六條沒煮熟的香腸。 Praying For Man Tits 用手肘頂了他一下，他痛得皺眉。 他緊張地從V型比基尼的胯部抽出一疊提示卡。 「我是去年的會長：Walking Walking Talking Talking Bitching Bitching Wanking Wanking Kitchen Kitchen Cumming Cumming。今天有非常新的路線，非常厲害的路線在……」 他翻到下一張卡。 「……北投。非常新的交接跑。」 The hashers murmured. Their memories were especially cloudy, and did the beer taste funny today? All past trails were a blur. Amongst them, only Shitty Shrinkage and Cockenheimer weren’t drinking. Their eyes met knowingly across the crowd. Hadn’t the erection run been and gone? They seemed to remember three consecutive Beitou runs. They wouldn’t do a fourth, right? “Yes indeed, very original trails,” interjected Globefucker, ringing his hands and sweating even more than usual, “Please, go on, respected hares!” Praying For Man Tits continued, “Now we run. Then after run you can erecting me GM!” Shitty Shrinkage’s brain composed a thought. “Isn’t he already…” His train of thought tailed off. Shadows of old memories tried to surface, but couldn’t. 捷兔跑者們開始竊竊私語。 大家記憶有點模糊。而且今天啤酒是不是怪怪的？ 過去的路線全都糊成一片。 只有 Shitty Shrinkage 和 Cockenheimer 沒在喝。 他們在人群中對視——交接跑不是早就辦過了嗎？ 好像還連續辦了三場北投？不會來第四次吧？ 「沒錯沒錯，非常原創的路線！」Globefucker 插嘴雙手緊握、汗流更多於平常。 「請繼續，尊敬的兔子們！」Praying For Man Tits 繼續說：「我們現在開始跑。跑完你們就可以開始舉辦選舉並投給我！」 Shitty Shrinkage 的大腦勉強拼湊出一個念頭。 「他不是已經……」思緒卻斷了。 舊記憶的影子試圖浮現，卻沉了回去。 And so the run was run. At each check, Xiaojiji and Comes Once A Year intuited the correct direction first time, every time. It all seemed so familiar. As the hashers returned, the strange tasting beer was ready on ice, but See You Next Week was nowhere to be seen. “Hash hash!” shouted Praying For Man Tits, “No more waiting! Pour me with beer! Make me GM!” The former GMs staggered to the stage. Teenvolf looked queasy, Cunt of the Litter was quiet, and Xiaojiji kept having to relodge the grape in his bunghole. Only Walkie Walkie appeared sober, which itself was odd. Man Tits kneeled before them, arms raised heavenwards. “He is GM,” the ex-GMs declared in a monotone chorus. But as the beer poured over Man Tits’ skin, the white came off with it, revealing an East Asian complexion. The flow of Kirin increased, and his ginger locks dislodged and fell to the floor. A wig! “It’s Wego Shooter!” shouted Shitty Shrinkage, “He’s poisoned the beer and usurped the GM!” The shock of the announcement caused the six chiploatas to fall off of Walkie Walkie’s torso. “And that’s his friend Jerry!” shouted Cockenheimer, “He must be his accomplice!”. “That’s right,” said Wego Shooter, rising to his feet, “But now I am baptized GM of Taiwan Hash. Your precious Playing For Man Tits is gone. Bow down and worship me!” *** Will Taiwan Hashers welcome Wego Shooter into their hearts as their personal Lord and Savior? Will they discover the whereabouts of Praying For Man Tits, Walkie Walkie, and See You Next Week?? Will Hairless Hero learn enough about this Just Jerry guy to develop him properly as a character??? Find out in next week’s installment of… HASH TRASH! 於是大家還是跑了。 每個岔路點，Xiaojiji 和 Comes Once A Year 都第一次就選對了方向，一切都似曾相識。 回到終點時，怪味啤酒已經冰鎮待命，但 See You Next Week 不見了。 「鬣犬們！」Praying For Man Tits 大喊， 「不要等了！用啤酒澆我！讓我當 會長！」 前任會長們蹣跚上台。 Teenvolf 看起來想吐。 Cunt of the Litter 沉默不語。 Xiaojiji 一直把掉出來的葡萄塞回去屁眼裡 只有 Walkie Walkie 看起來清醒——這本身就很詭異。 Man Tits 跪地，雙臂朝天。 「他是新任會長。」 前任會長們齊聲單調宣告。啤酒澆下去。 白色顏料開始溶解——露出東亞膚色。 麒麟啤酒越倒越多。 他的紅色頭髮滑落地板。是假髮！ 「是 Wego Shooter！」Shitty Shrinkage 大喊， 「他下毒啤酒，篡位會長！」 震驚之下，Walkie Walkie 身上的六條香腸掉了下來。 「那是他朋友 Jerry！」Cockenheimer 補刀， 「他一定是共犯！」 「沒錯。」Wego Shooter 站起來說，「現在我已經受洗成為台灣健龍的會長，你們珍貴的 Playing For Man Tits 已經消失。跪下來崇拜我吧！」 ⸻ 台灣健龍會不會接受 Wego Shooter 成為他們的救主？ Praying For Man Tits、Walkie Walkie 和 See You Next Week 在哪裡？ Hairless Hero 能不能搞清楚這個 Just Jerry 是誰，並把他好好塑造成角色？ 請鎖定下週—— 捷兔週報 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Wego Shooter Cohare 副兔: Just Jerry ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 250 m L: 10 km + Elevation/爬升: 450 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 8 March 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Fuyang Eco Park 七星公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/QWWtqeQMfe98g5mU7?g_st=ic ******HOW? / 怎去******* Metro to Xinbeitou Station Exit 2 捷運新北投站出口2 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 酒加菜平價海鮮熱炒 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Lam6RfgueXNRKYor9

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2648 Inquiry

When & Where

March 8, 2026 (2:00 pm) – March 8, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Fuyang Eco Park 七星公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/QWWtqeQMfe98g5mU7?g_st=ic