Details

In a grassy clearing in distant Pinglin, Sperm Daddy’s Travelling Freak Show opened for business. The air was filled with the smells of buttered popcorn, Mr. Sausage’s “Boomerang Bangers”, and Piggy Poop. Taiwan Hashers crowded together in their hundreds as Sperm Daddy himself took to the makeshift wooden stage, looking like a thousand bucks in a pristine red and white candy striped three piece suit and boater hat. The brass band energized the crowd still further, led by none other than Globefucker and his magical organ. Sperm Daddy bowed, before raising an old tin megaphone to his lips: “Roll up, step inside! Feast your eyes! Test your nerves! For one day only, prepare to be scintillated and exhilarated, shocked and appalled, by the rarest and peculiarest band of freaks in all of Taiwan Hash! 在遙遠坪林的一片草地空地上， Sperm Daddy 巡迴怪胎秀 盛大開張。 空氣中瀰漫著奶油爆米花、 Mr. Sausage 的「迴力鏢香腸」、 還有 Piggy Poop 的味道 數百名台灣健龍跑者們擠成一團。 而 Sperm Daddy 本人走上臨時搭建的木製舞台—— 身穿一套潔白鮮紅條紋三件式西裝與草帽，整個人看起來值一千美金。 銅管樂隊把氣氛炒到更高點， 領隊不是別人——正是 Globefucker 和他神奇的風琴。 Sperm Daddy 優雅鞠躬， 接著舉起老舊鐵皮擴音器大喊： 「來喔來喔！快進來看看！ 睜大你們的狗眼！挑戰你們的膽量！限時一天——準備好被震撼、被刺激、被嚇壞、被冒犯—— 由台灣健龍最稀有、最詭異的一群怪胎帶給你們終生難忘的體驗！」 “Gaze upon Mortal Cumbag, the human raviolo, as he writhes in his own sauce! Expand your brain as Dr. Anal Technology dissects his latest consensual specimen for your biological edification. Those of a feminine persuasion are advised not to enter! Gasp in disbelief as Egg Donor puts the “oo” into “oology”. CPR equipment is on hand for your safety and protection, hashers and harriettes! “Who’s brave enough to enter? Don’t hesitate, deliberate, or cogitate! 250 New Taiwan dollars, cash only!” 「來看 Mortal Cumbag ——人形義大利餃，在自己的醬汁裡扭動掙扎！ 再讓 Dr. Anal Technology 解剖他最新的『自願實驗體』，拓展你的生物學知識！ 女性觀眾不建議進入！ 還有——驚聲尖叫吧！ 當 Egg Donor 把『oo』放進『ology』裡！ 現場備有心肺復甦術的急救設備，保障各位捷兔跑者們和主人的生命安全！」 「誰夠膽進來？ 別猶豫、別思考、別用腦！ 門票只要 250 元——只收現金！」 The crowds surged, flinging banknotes at Come On Baby and The Talented Mr. Nipply, before charging head on through the giant flaps of the main tent. But among the heaving throng was undercover reporter I’ll Jizzinya. “One thirty-five p.m.” she whispered into her dictaphone, “If I keep my head low, I can bust this problematic wasps’ nest wide open.” Inside, the air was warm and damp. I’ll Jizzinya scanned the dimly lit signs that pointed towards various corridors. “SIZE QUEEN: GIANTESS” “PYGMY CENTAUR: 69% GAY, 31% HORSE” But one sign caught her eye, “IRON MIDGET: THE TINY IMPENETRABLE WOMAN” “One thirty-eight p.m., I am going to observe the Tiny M-word.” 群眾瞬間暴動般往前衝。 鈔票瘋狂砸向 Come On Baby 和 The Talented Mr. Nipply，然後直接撞進主帳棚的大布簾。 但在人群中——混進了一位臥底記者：I’ll Jizzinya。 「下午一點三十五分。」她對錄音機低聲說。 「只要我保持低調，就能徹底揭發這個問題馬蜂窩。」 帳棚裡又熱又潮濕。她掃視昏暗走道上的招牌：「SIZE QUEEN：巨女秀」 「侏儒半人馬：69% Gay，31% 馬」 但有一塊牌子吸引了她的注意： 「IRON MIDGET：無法被攻破的小小女人」 「下午一點三十八分。 我要觀察這位嬌小的M小姐。」 As she walked down the canvas tunnel, the murmurs of the crowd dimmed, and soon she was alone with an armored dwarf in a cage. “Get me out of here!” shouted Iron Midget, “Sperm Daddy locked me up when I asked for a living wage!” “Oh you poor thing!” replied I’ll Jizzinya, as she snapped photos with her iPhone 15, “Let me just post this to my Instagram Stories and I’ll pick the lock.” She pulled a bobby pin out of her hair and wiggled it into the keyhole on the cage door. “I’ll have you free in no time, little person. You know, the M-word was coined by P.T. Barn…” CRASH! As soon as the door came loose, Iron Midget kicked the door into I’ll Jizzinya, who fell to the ground. “Stupid reporter,” sneered Iron Midget, picking up the iPhone from the floor and deleting all the photos, “Sperm Daddy!” Sperm Daddy walked into the room, giving Iron Midget a slow clap. “I see you caught us another reporter, my darling. We’ll put her in the pit with the others. For now, let’s take to the hills and wait for the heat to die down!” As Mr. Sausage attached heavy shackles to her ankles, I’ll Jizzinya could only watch as Sperm Daddy and Iron Midget left through a side exit, and disappeared into the forest. 她沿著帆布走廊前進，人群聲音越來越遠。 很快地——她獨自來到一個鐵籠前，裡面關著一名全副武裝的矮人。 「放我出去！」Iron Midget 大喊。 「我只是要求合理薪水，Sperm Daddy 就把我關起來！」 「天啊你太可憐了！」 I’ll Jizzinya 一邊用 iPhone 15 狂拍照一邊說。 「我先發個 IG 限動，再來幫你開鎖。」 她從頭髮裡抽出一根髮夾，開始撬鎖。 「馬上救你出來，小個子。 你知道嗎？M-word 其實是 P.T. Barn…」 砰！！！ 門一鬆開——Iron Midget 直接一腳把鐵門踹向她， I’ll Jizzinya 當場倒地。 「白癡記者。」Iron Midget 冷笑。 撿起地上的 iPhone，刪光所有照片。 「Sperm Daddy！」 Sperm Daddy 走進房間，慢慢鼓掌。 「看來妳又幫我們抓到一個記者了，親愛的。」 「先把她丟去坑裡跟其他人作伴吧。 現在——我們先上山避風頭，等事情冷下來。」 當 Mr. Sausage 把沉重腳鐐鎖到她腳踝上時， I’ll Jizzinya 只能眼睜睜看著—— Sperm Daddy 和 Iron Midget 從側門離開，消失在森林深處。 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Sperm Daddy Cohare 副兔: Iron Midget ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 8 km + Elevation/爬升: 550 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 17 May 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 福德宮(大林里土地公廟) https://maps.app.goo.gl/z8sn4jKN8HA4DLrj8 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Xindian then take bus G12 to Shuiliujiao or bus 923 to Pinglin Station then walk or Taxi share to the run start 捷運新店站然後搭公車綠12到水柳腳或搭公車923到坪林站。從水柳腳或坪林站走或搭計程車到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 大麥Beer Bar https://maps.app.goo.gl/HP9fTH59Sh465qCa8?g_st=ic

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2658 Inquiry

When & Where

May 17, 2026 (2:30 pm) – May 17, 2026 (6:00 pm)

福德宮(大林里土地公廟) https://maps.app.goo.gl/z8sn4jKN8HA4DLrj8

Details

All the ladies on Wanli Beach turned their heads as Dr. Binlang and Horny Papa rolled into the parking lot in their 1958 betelnut-red Thunderbird convertible, complete with whitewall tires, white leather seats, and a smooth as butter 390 cubic inch V8. They wound down the windows so everyone could hear the classic German surf rock hit “Der Hai will heut’ nicht erscheinen” blasting out of the sound system. The boys had rizz. Even with Dr. B’s subwoofer turned up to 11, you could hear the panties dropping. Actually, it was a whole carrier bag of freshly stolen panties. 萬里海灘上的所有妹子，都在同一瞬間轉過頭來。 因為——Dr. Binlang 和 Horny Papa正開著他們那台 1958 年檳榔紅雷神鳥敞篷車滑進停車場。 白邊輪胎、白色真皮座椅，還有滑順到像奶油一樣的 390 V8 引擎。 兩人搖下車窗，讓全海灘都能聽見音響裡放著的經典德國衝浪搖滾：《Der Hai will heut’ nicht erscheinen》 這兩個男人——真的太會了。 就算 Dr. B 把重低音開到 11， 你還是能清楚聽見： 「啪答、啪答、啪答——」內褲掉滿地的聲音。 事實上——那是一整袋剛偷來的內褲。 Panty Pirate had been doing a spot of wild foraging in the women’s changing rooms. He had gathered several fistfuls of slips and thongs, and was about to head into the bushes to bury his treasure when from across the beach, Dr. Binlang’s and Horny Papa’s soundtrack reached his ears. “Arrr it is those landlubbers, Dr. Binlang and Horny Papa,” he muttered under his breath. “Those milk-livered knaves made me go and drop me panties, and I suspect many of the fine wenches here are doin’ the same.” He wasn’t wrong. As he approached the parking lot, he could barely see their car, surrounded as it was by bikini clad beauties, presumably from a nearby New Taipei Hash run. The crowds parted and Dr. Binlang and Horny Papa were standing topless, holding bags of flour, their torsos covered with lipstick phone numbers and LINE IDs. Panty Pirate 剛剛在女更衣室完成一波野外採集。 戰利品包括：絲襪、小褲褲、還有幾件不知道怎麼穿的東西。 他正準備進樹叢埋寶藏時，遠方傳來 Dr. Binlang 和 Horny Papa 的音樂聲。 「啊啊啊，是那兩個旱鴨子——Dr. Binlang 跟 Horny Papa。」Panty Pirate 咬牙低聲罵道。 「那兩個沒種的混蛋，害老子都差點把內褲掉下來。我敢說——這海灘上妹子的內褲也掉下來了。」他沒有說錯。 當 Panty Pirate 走近停車場時——他幾乎看不到那台車。 因為車子已經被一群比基尼辣妹團團圍住，看起來像附近某場新北捷兔跑來的。 人群分開，Dr. Binlang 和 Horny Papa 赤裸上身站在中央，手裡拿著裝著麵粉的袋子。 胸口和腹肌上全是：用口紅寫的電話號碼、LINE ID、還有看起來像今晚行程的東西 “Panty Pirate, have you come to join the party?” called Horny Papa. “Avast ye, Horny Papa!” scowled the salty seadog, “I sha’n’t accept yer skulduggerous invitation.” Panty Pirate drew his sword. “Only tell me this. How is it after all these years, yer milkshake still brings all the babes to the yard? Answer me or I’ll have yer guts for garters! Arr!” A brave young woman dressed as Sailor Moon* leapt out and shouted, “Because running makes you sexy!” “And so does drinking beer!” retorted Dr. Binlang, “Now ladies, who’s ready for 7.5 kilometers of slippery pleasure?” A chorus of feminine squeals and suspiciously low moans broke out among the crowd, and Dr. Binlang and Horny Papa disappeared into the hills, with the crowd in hot pursuit. * Later, upon closer inspection, Dr. Binlang discovered this young woman was, in fact, Fisting King. 「Panty Pirate！你也來加入派對嗎？」Horny Papa 大喊。 「閉嘴吧你，Horny Papa！」老海狗 Panty Pirate 臉色陰沉。 「老子才不會接受你這種奸詐混蛋的邀請！」 他拔出了劍。 「你只要回答我一件事——到底為什麼過了這麼多年，你們的精緻奶昔還是能把所有妹子吸來院子裡？不說清楚，老子就把你腸子拿來當吊襪帶！啊～～！」 這時——一位穿著水手月亮裝扮的勇敢少女跳了出來： 「因為跑步讓人變性感！」 「喝啤酒也是！」Dr. Binlang 立刻反擊。 「好了各位女士們—— 誰準備好來場 7.5 公里的濕滑快感啦？」 現場瞬間爆出一陣：女生尖叫聲、可疑低吟聲、還有一些不像跑步會發出的聲音 接著—— Dr. Binlang 和 Horny Papa 衝進山裡，而整群妹子也尖叫著緊追在後。 ＊事後經 Dr. Binlang 仔細確認— 那位「水手月亮少女」其實是： Fisting King！ Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Dr. Binlang Cohare 副兔: Horny Papa ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7.5 km + Elevation/爬升: 350 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 24 May 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Wanli Green Bay Beach 翡翠灣沙灘 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Uh6iUu5JXWi6Hcx46 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take bus 953 and get off at Guting stop. 搭公車953到鼓亭然後走到A點 For drivers there’s a big free parking lot right beside the run start. 開車的話, A點的旁邊有免費停車場 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 阿美海鮮熱炒 https://maps.app.goo.gl/4wzeRoKY4Saz8Ftt5

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2659 Inquiry

When & Where

May 24, 2026 (2:30 pm) – May 24, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Wanli Green Bay Beach 翡翠灣沙灘 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Uh6iUu5JXWi6Hcx46

Details

Just Tzu-yang and Just A-mei were two happy little unnamed Taipei Metro Hashers, sitting by the river in Xizhi. “Remember that one time we hashed all the way in Nanshijiao?” said Just A-mei, sipping on electrolyte formula. “We done gone out into the wilderness here, though,” said Tzu-yang, stretching properly on the grass. “Maybe… I heard rumors that Taiwan Hash sometimes runs in places that don’t even have a train station. Can you imagine?” A-mei looked off into the distance with a sparkle in her eyes. Tzu-yang looked at A-mei’s expression with doubt, “It’s a fool looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart… What the hell is that sound?” Just Tzu-yang 和 Just A-mei是兩個快樂的小小尚未命名的台北捷運兔跑者，此刻正坐在汐止河邊。 「還記得有一次我們居然一路跑到南勢角嗎？」Just A-mei 一邊喝電解質飲料一邊說。 「但這次我們是真的跑到荒郊野外了。」Tzu-yang 一邊在草地上認真伸展。 「也許吧……我聽說台灣健龍有時候會跑去——連捷運站都沒有的地方。」A-mei 遠望天邊，眼裡閃著夢幻光芒。 Tzu-yang 用懷疑眼神看著她。 「人心這種東西，本來就沒什麼邏輯可言…… 等等，那是什麼鬼聲音？」 Suddenly, all around them, a crowd of sweaty people in passport-green happi coats were walking past and singing in unison. Tzu-yang and A-mei gazed around in confusion, and listened to their song: “Oh hashers, let’s down down. Let’s down down, won’t you suck one down?” “It appears to be a hash kennel,” said Just A-mei, “Only they’re headin’ towards that stinkin’ canal.” Sure enough, following flour, the sunburned mob were scrambling over a pile of flytipped industrial waste, and down into a concrete gulley filled with black water. Mosquitoes, wads of tissue, and condom wrappers danced upon the oily surface. 突然間—— 四面八方冒出一大群汗流浹背的人，全都穿著綠色護照的祭典服， 邊走邊整齊唱歌： 「噢～捷兔跑者們，來噹噹～ 來噹噹～ 你難道不想喝一杯嗎～」 「看起來像某個捷兔的聚集地。」Just A-mei 說。 「只是……他們正朝那條超臭水溝走去。」 果不其然，那群曬傷人類沿著麵粉，翻過一堆非法棄置工業垃圾，一路滑進一條充滿黑水的水泥水溝。 油亮亮的水面上漂浮著：蚊子、衛生紙團、保險套包裝，畫面十分動人。 Tzu-yang and A-mei drew closer, and saw Xiaojiji up to his waist in the canal, embracing each hasher in turn, and sixty-nining them so only their muddy legs were visible. A-mei noticed the “shit-eating” grin on each hasher as Xiaojiji flipped back on their feet. “I baptize thee in the name of Taiwan Hash!” said Xiaojiji, again and again. Tsu-yang snorted, “Well, I guess hard times flush the chumps. Ever’body’s…Where the hell you goin’?” A-mei ran forwards and jumped into the water with a splash. She pushed her way to the front of the line. Xiaojiji sure enough smiled at A-mei and dunked her beneath the opaque liquid. She emerged and gasped. “The ex-GM done warshed away all my sins and transgressions!” she shouted up at Tzu-yang. “And smeared you with new ones, by the looks of it,” he called back. “He says we can be the hares this week… Something about needing more virgins!” “Okay, but as long as they don’t name us. I want to hold on for one of those famously clever Metro Hash names…” Tzu-yang 和 A-mei 越靠越近， 接著看見——Xiaojiji 整個人泡在臭水溝裡，水深及腰。他正一個接一個擁抱每位捷兔跑者，然後用69 的方式直接把對方埋進黑水中，只剩泥巴腿露在外面。 每當 Xiaojiji 把人翻回正面—— 每個人的臉上都掛著一種：「吃到屎但很爽」的笑容。 「我以台灣健龍之名——為你受洗！」Xiaojiji 一遍又一遍地喊著。 Tzu-yang 哼了一聲。「嗯……看來景氣差的時候，怪人真的都會浮出來。大家真是——欸妳去哪？」 A-mei 突然往前狂奔，噗通一聲跳進黑水裡，她奮力擠到隊伍最前面。 Xiaojiji 果然露出燦爛笑容，然後把她整顆頭壓進不透明液體中。 A-mei 再浮出來時大口喘氣：「前任會長已經把我所有的罪孽與過犯全都洗掉啦！」 她朝著 Tzu-yang 大聲喊道。 「照妳現在這副樣子看來，他只是順便又幫妳抹上新的而已。」他朝她回喊 「他說我們這週可以當兔子！好像是因為他們需要更多處子之身！」 「好吧，但前提是——他們不能幫我們取名字，我還想等等看台北捷運兔那些超有創意的名字咧……」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Just Tzu-yang Cohare 副兔: Just A-mei ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 8 km + Elevation/爬升: 350 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 31 May 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Wudu Xingzuo Park 五堵星座公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/UbZSQH2aFhUxnwNu9 ******HOW? / 怎去******* TRA to Wudu Station then walk about 750m 搭台鐵到五堵火車站然後走路750m到A點 Drivers can park on Jixiang St but it might be crowded during the holidays 停車可停吉祥街但假日可能車多建議火車 https://maps.app.goo.gl/ieaSmiM3hpVnwYbT6 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 水仩鮮精緻時尚熱炒 https://maps.app.goo.gl/PNVqMLMh4EgvfvEh6

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2660 Inquiry

When & Where

May 31, 2026 (2:30 pm) – May 31, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Wudu Xingzuo Park 五堵星座公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/UbZSQH2aFhUxnwNu9

Details

The 631 bus’ brakes scraped to a halt at Guizikeng. The doors flapped open, and The Gooch and Just Emily emerged. “Your second run’s free, remember!” said The Gooch. “Oh yeah,” Just Emily replied, “and last week these free panties! Taiwan Hash is just about the friendliest group of people I’ve ever met.” They walked into the shade of the A-point temple, offering views down the mountain to Tamsui river. Dozens of semi-dressed, sweaty people exchanged pleasantries over Su-pao and snacks. Then, from above their heads, they heard a gentle whirring. Just Emily looked up and saw the silhouette of a helicopter. As the helicopter drew nearer, she discerned a steel cage dangling on a chain attached to its undercarriage. 631 公車的煞車尖銳地磨停在貴子坑站，車門打開後，The Gooch 和 Just Emily 走了下來。 「記得喔！妳第二次跑是免費的！」The Gooch 說。 「對耶，還有上週送我的免費內褲！」Just Emily 回答。 「台灣健龍真的是我遇過最友善的一群人了。」 兩人走進起點廟宇的陰影下，從這裡可以俯瞰整個淡水河景。 數十名衣衫不整、滿身大汗的捷兔跑者們一邊喝著舒跑和吃著零食，一邊互相寒暄。 突然——他們頭頂傳來一陣低沉的螺旋槳聲。 Just Emily 抬頭，一架直升機正朝這裡飛來，而飛機下方還吊著一個鋼製鐵籠。 “Is that the beer delivery?” she asked. “I’m not sure – I don’t drink,” said The Gooch. The helicopter was directly in front of the balcony now, and all the hashers gathered at the railing for a closer look. As it lowered the cage towards the ground, the spectators could see that the cage contained Cock Prey Love, dressed up as a giant polyurethane penis. Aside from his feet below the balls, and his face protruding from a hole cut below the purple, circumcised bellend, Cock Prey Love’s entire body was bound up in dense, pink foam. Without his arms, or free movement of his legs, he wobbled helplessly as the cage landed with a thud on the lawn in front of the temple. “Oh Christ! Oh Jesus Christ!” he shouted. The hashers roared a bloodthirsty roar. “Is it like this most weeks?” asked Just Emily. “Hmmm, yes, I think so,” said The Gooch, but his reply was drowned out by a voice shouting through the tannoy system. 「那是送啤酒的嗎？」她問。 「我不確定，我不喝酒。」The Gooch 說。 直升機逐漸靠近陽台，所有捷兔跑者都湧到欄杆旁圍觀。 當鐵籠緩緩下降時，大家終於看清楚裡面裝的是誰——Cock Prey Love，而且被打扮成一根巨大的假屌。 除了從蛋蛋下面露出的雙腳以及從紫色包皮切口探出來的臉之外，整個人都被厚厚的粉紅色泡泡包覆。 失去雙手，雙腿也無法自由活動他只能搖搖晃晃地站著。 鐵籠「砰」的一聲落在廟前草地。 「天啊！我的老天爺啊！」Cock Prey Love 大叫。 捷兔跑者們爆出嗜血般的歡呼聲。 「每個禮拜都這樣嗎？」Just Emily 問。 「嗯……差不多吧。」The Gooch 回答，但他的聲音立刻被廣播系統蓋過 “Greetings hashers! It is I, Cockhunter, your ex-GM: master of hounds, finder of phalluses! Let me present to you this week’s prey: Cock Prey Love!” The hashers beat their chests and jeered as Cock Prey Love hopped helplessly around his cage. Unable to wipe the sweat from his eyes, he blindly bounced himself off the sides, searching for a door. Cockhunter continued. “Cock Prey Love, it’s time for the run for your life. On the count of three I will set you free into the trails of Guizikeng. Shortly thereafter, I shall release the hounds to hunt you down! 1…2…3!” With a loud snap, the walls of the cage fell open, and the hashers watched the desperate dick and balls waddle into the forest, screaming: “Not the dogs, anything but dogs!” 「各位捷兔跑者們大家好！我是你們的前會長——Cockhunter！獵犬之主陽具發現者！」 「讓我向各位介紹本週獵物——Cock Prey Love！」 捷兔跑者們拍打胸口大聲起鬨。 籠中的 Cock Prey Love 拼命亂跳，汗水流進眼睛裡，他看不清方向，只能不斷撞向鐵籠四周，試圖找到出口。 Cockhunter 繼續宣布： 「Cock Prey Love，你的逃命之旅現在開始。數到三之後，我會把你放進貴子坑的路線裡。」 「接著——我會放出獵犬追捕你！」 「1……」 「2……」 「3！」 啪！鐵籠四面同時彈開。 所有人眼睜睜看著那根巨大老二連滾帶爬衝進森林，一邊逃一邊尖叫： 「不要狗啊！」 「除了狗什麼都可以！」 As he disappeared into the bushes, Cockhunter appeared on horseback in hunting attire. Surrounding the horse were at least two dozen mountain dogs. “Are you?” she shouted. “On on!” cried the hashers. “Aoooooooooo!” howled the dogs. Cockhunter looked down and saw an awestruck Just Emily gazing up at her. “You new, kid?” she said, reaching out her hand, “hop aboard, and I’ll show you how to hunt a cock.” She pulled Just Emily up behind her, jammed her spurs into the flank of the horse, and took off at a gallop in pursuit of Cock Prey Love. “I see why they hand out free panties,” said Just Emily. “I have literally no idea what you’re talking about, kid,” said Cockhunter. 就在他消失在樹叢後不久—— Cockhunter 騎著馬現身了，身穿全套獵裝，身邊圍著至少二十幾隻山犬。 「有人嗎——？」她高喊。 「有人！」捷兔跑者們齊聲回應。 「嗷嗚嗚嗚嗚——！」狗群仰天長嚎。 Cockhunter 低頭，發現 Just Emily 正滿臉震撼地看著自己。 「新來的嗎，小鬼？」她伸出手。 「上來吧。」 「我帶妳體驗怎麼獵老二。」 她一把將 Just Emily 拉上馬背，接著猛踢馬腹。 駕！兩人朝著 Cock Prey Love 消失的方向飛奔而去。 Just Emily 看著遠方感嘆： 「現在我懂為什麼他們要送免費內褲了。」 Cockhunter 一臉困惑：「小鬼，」 「我完全不知道妳在說什麼。」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Cock Hunter Cohare 副兔: Cock Prey Love ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 300 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 7 June 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 三慈宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/p5PjAFAxZjXwkKwu5 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the metro to Beitou Station then take Bus 631 to Pingding Fude Temple (坪頂福德宮), or 15-min taxi pool to the run start 捷運北投站然後搭公車631到坪頂福德宮然後走路到A點，或從北投站搭計程車15分鐘到A點 Note to drivers: limited parking space available at/near run start, but the golf course parking lot nearby is free and always has loads of spaces available: 開車的話, A點旁邊有很少的停車位，但是附近有一個高爾夫球場有停車場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/s8L7jiP6oS4MqFNd9 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Xiaopingding Farm 小坪頂農家菜 https://maps.app.goo.gl/YFen6dq9YoCAhgXi7

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2661 Inquiry

When & Where

June 7, 2026 (2:30 pm) – June 7, 2026 (6:00 pm)

三慈宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/p5PjAFAxZjXwkKwu5

Details

“Hmmm… I really don’t see any apples up there,” said Shibari Gayblow, staring into the forest canopy. “Look higher,” urged Onlygrans, “Way higher, I can see some big juicy ones!” Shibari squinted and tilted his head, “Nope, can’t see a single one. In fact, I’m pretty sure these aren’t even apple trees.” “Well you’ll see them once I hoist you up, and then you can harvest them for us to share. Sound good?” “I guess you seem trustworthy… After all, you do have a rope, and a sandwich bag filled with zipties.” 「嗯……我真的沒看到上面有任何蘋果耶。」Shibari Gayblow 抬頭望著森林樹冠說道。 「再看高一點。」Onlygrans 慫恿道，「再高一點！我看到好幾顆又大又多汁的呢！」 Shibari 瞇起眼、歪著頭。 「沒有啊，一顆都沒看到。而且老實說，我很確定這些根本不是蘋果樹。」 「等我把你吊上去你就看得到啦，到時候你再摘下來，我們一起分享，怎麼樣？」 「嗯……你看起來好像蠻值得信任的。畢竟你手上有繩子，還有一袋裝滿束帶的夾鏈袋。」 Onlygrans had Shibari Gayblow undress to his knickerbockers. Shibari neatly folded his clothes like a good boy and placed them in a pile on a mossy log. Using seasoned hemp ropes, Onlygrans trussed up Shibari Gayblow like a macrame Christmas ornament. He then threw the other end of the rope over a sturdy tree branch and began to winch Shibari Gayblow off of the ground. “I say mister,” said Shibari Gayblow, “That branch is only about 15 feet from the ground. I’m not sure it’s high enough to reach any apples. And even if it were, my picking hand is all tied up!” “Oh it’s high enough. Gonna get me some nice apples. Wrinkly ones.” Onlygrans 要 Shibari Gayblow 脫到只剩燈籠褲。 Shibari 像個乖孩子一樣，把衣服摺得整整齊齊，放在長滿青苔的倒木上。 接著，Onlygrans 老練的用麻繩把 Shibari 綁得像個手工編織的聖誕吊飾。 然後他把繩子的另一端拋過一根粗壯的樹枝，開始慢慢把 Shibari 吊離地面。 「那個，我說先生啊，」Shibari Gayblow 開口說道， 「那根樹枝離地面大概才十五英尺高耶。我不覺得這高度夠摘到什麼蘋果。而且就算真的有，我負責採摘的手也被綁住了呀！」 「夠高啦。我要摘些很棒的蘋果。」 Onlygrans 咧嘴一笑，「皺巴巴的那種。」 Onlygrans tied the ends of the rope off around a nearby tree root. He took a camping shovel from his backpack and started to dig a hole directly beneath Shibari Gayblow’s gently swaying body. “A hole, eh? Not sure this situation calls for any hole digging if I’m completely honest…” “Ain’t you never heard of an apple pit, Shibari? Soon it’s gonna be filled with apples. Granny Smith apples! All lured into the pit by a sexy piece of ass like yourself.” “Is the pit to keep the apples fresh? Is that why you’re covering it with banana leaves? Onlygrans? You seem to be walking away there, mister… Oh bother…” 他把繩尾牢牢綁在附近突出的樹根上？接著從背包裡拿出一把露營鏟，開始在 Shibari Gayblow 輕輕晃動的身體正下方挖洞。 「挖洞喔？」Shibari 說，「老實說，我不太確定現在這個情況有需要挖洞……」 「Shibari，你沒聽過蘋果坑嗎？」Onlygrans 一邊鏟土一邊說。 「很快這裡就會塞滿蘋果了。滿滿的 Granny Smith 蘋果！全都會被像你這樣性感的小屁股引進坑裡來。」 「這坑是拿來保存蘋果新鮮度的嗎？」Shibari 好奇地問。 「所以你才要用香蕉葉把它蓋起來？」 「Onlygrans？」 「欸？你怎麼好像走遠了，先生……」 「唉呀呀……」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Only Grans Cohare 副兔: Shibari GayBlow ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 6 km + Elevation/爬升: 400 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 14 June 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Yongding Shengxing Temple 永定聖興宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/D2DcY4L8oDMaHexk6 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the metro to Muzha then take bus 795 to Yongding Shengxing Temple 捷運木柵站然後搭公車795到永定聖興宮 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 笠林懷古料理(笠林茶棧) https://maps.app.goo.gl/bhMKj16uy5DwCK2x9

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2662 Inquiry

When & Where

June 14, 2026 (2:00 pm) – June 14, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Yongding Shengxing Temple 永定聖興宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/D2DcY4L8oDMaHexk6

Details

Details will be published in the week before the run.

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2663 Inquiry

When & Where

June 21, 2026 (2:30 pm) – June 21, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Details

Details will be published in the week before the run.

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2664 Inquiry

When & Where

June 28, 2026 (2:30 pm) – June 28, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Details

Details will be published in the week before the run.

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2665 Inquiry

When & Where

July 5, 2026 (2:30 pm) – July 5, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Details

Details will be published in the week before the run.

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2666 Inquiry

When & Where

July 12, 2026 (2:30 pm) – July 12, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Details

Details will be published in the week before the run.

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2667 Inquiry

When & Where

July 19, 2026 (2:30 pm) – July 19, 2026 (6:00 pm)