Details

The 631 bus’ brakes scraped to a halt at Guizikeng. The doors flapped open, and The Gooch and Just Emily emerged. “Your second run’s free, remember!” said The Gooch. “Oh yeah,” Just Emily replied, “and last week these free panties! Taiwan Hash is just about the friendliest group of people I’ve ever met.” They walked into the shade of the A-point temple, offering views down the mountain to Tamsui river. Dozens of semi-dressed, sweaty people exchanged pleasantries over Su-pao and snacks. Then, from above their heads, they heard a gentle whirring. Just Emily looked up and saw the silhouette of a helicopter. As the helicopter drew nearer, she discerned a steel cage dangling on a chain attached to its undercarriage. 631 公車的煞車尖銳地磨停在貴子坑站，車門打開後，The Gooch 和 Just Emily 走了下來。 「記得喔！妳第二次跑是免費的！」The Gooch 說。 「對耶，還有上週送我的免費內褲！」Just Emily 回答。 「台灣健龍真的是我遇過最友善的一群人了。」 兩人走進起點廟宇的陰影下，從這裡可以俯瞰整個淡水河景。 數十名衣衫不整、滿身大汗的捷兔跑者們一邊喝著舒跑和吃著零食，一邊互相寒暄。 突然——他們頭頂傳來一陣低沉的螺旋槳聲。 Just Emily 抬頭，一架直升機正朝這裡飛來，而飛機下方還吊著一個鋼製鐵籠。 “Is that the beer delivery?” she asked. “I’m not sure – I don’t drink,” said The Gooch. The helicopter was directly in front of the balcony now, and all the hashers gathered at the railing for a closer look. As it lowered the cage towards the ground, the spectators could see that the cage contained Cock Prey Love, dressed up as a giant polyurethane penis. Aside from his feet below the balls, and his face protruding from a hole cut below the purple, circumcised bellend, Cock Prey Love’s entire body was bound up in dense, pink foam. Without his arms, or free movement of his legs, he wobbled helplessly as the cage landed with a thud on the lawn in front of the temple. “Oh Christ! Oh Jesus Christ!” he shouted. The hashers roared a bloodthirsty roar. “Is it like this most weeks?” asked Just Emily. “Hmmm, yes, I think so,” said The Gooch, but his reply was drowned out by a voice shouting through the tannoy system. 「那是送啤酒的嗎？」她問。 「我不確定，我不喝酒。」The Gooch 說。 直升機逐漸靠近陽台，所有捷兔跑者都湧到欄杆旁圍觀。 當鐵籠緩緩下降時，大家終於看清楚裡面裝的是誰——Cock Prey Love，而且被打扮成一根巨大的假屌。 除了從蛋蛋下面露出的雙腳以及從紫色包皮切口探出來的臉之外，整個人都被厚厚的粉紅色泡泡包覆。 失去雙手，雙腿也無法自由活動他只能搖搖晃晃地站著。 鐵籠「砰」的一聲落在廟前草地。 「天啊！我的老天爺啊！」Cock Prey Love 大叫。 捷兔跑者們爆出嗜血般的歡呼聲。 「每個禮拜都這樣嗎？」Just Emily 問。 「嗯……差不多吧。」The Gooch 回答，但他的聲音立刻被廣播系統蓋過 “Greetings hashers! It is I, Cockhunter, your ex-GM: master of hounds, finder of phalluses! Let me present to you this week’s prey: Cock Prey Love!” The hashers beat their chests and jeered as Cock Prey Love hopped helplessly around his cage. Unable to wipe the sweat from his eyes, he blindly bounced himself off the sides, searching for a door. Cockhunter continued. “Cock Prey Love, it’s time for the run for your life. On the count of three I will set you free into the trails of Guizikeng. Shortly thereafter, I shall release the hounds to hunt you down! 1…2…3!” With a loud snap, the walls of the cage fell open, and the hashers watched the desperate dick and balls waddle into the forest, screaming: “Not the dogs, anything but dogs!” 「各位捷兔跑者們大家好！我是你們的前會長——Cockhunter！獵犬之主陽具發現者！」 「讓我向各位介紹本週獵物——Cock Prey Love！」 捷兔跑者們拍打胸口大聲起鬨。 籠中的 Cock Prey Love 拼命亂跳，汗水流進眼睛裡，他看不清方向，只能不斷撞向鐵籠四周，試圖找到出口。 Cockhunter 繼續宣布： 「Cock Prey Love，你的逃命之旅現在開始。數到三之後，我會把你放進貴子坑的路線裡。」 「接著——我會放出獵犬追捕你！」 「1……」 「2……」 「3！」 啪！鐵籠四面同時彈開。 所有人眼睜睜看著那根巨大老二連滾帶爬衝進森林，一邊逃一邊尖叫： 「不要狗啊！」 「除了狗什麼都可以！」 As he disappeared into the bushes, Cockhunter appeared on horseback in hunting attire. Surrounding the horse were at least two dozen mountain dogs. “Are you?” she shouted. “On on!” cried the hashers. “Aoooooooooo!” howled the dogs. Cockhunter looked down and saw an awestruck Just Emily gazing up at her. “You new, kid?” she said, reaching out her hand, “hop aboard, and I’ll show you how to hunt a cock.” She pulled Just Emily up behind her, jammed her spurs into the flank of the horse, and took off at a gallop in pursuit of Cock Prey Love. “I see why they hand out free panties,” said Just Emily. “I have literally no idea what you’re talking about, kid,” said Cockhunter. 就在他消失在樹叢後不久—— Cockhunter 騎著馬現身了，身穿全套獵裝，身邊圍著至少二十幾隻山犬。 「有人嗎——？」她高喊。 「有人！」捷兔跑者們齊聲回應。 「嗷嗚嗚嗚嗚——！」狗群仰天長嚎。 Cockhunter 低頭，發現 Just Emily 正滿臉震撼地看著自己。 「新來的嗎，小鬼？」她伸出手。 「上來吧。」 「我帶妳體驗怎麼獵老二。」 她一把將 Just Emily 拉上馬背，接著猛踢馬腹。 駕！兩人朝著 Cock Prey Love 消失的方向飛奔而去。 Just Emily 看著遠方感嘆： 「現在我懂為什麼他們要送免費內褲了。」 Cockhunter 一臉困惑：「小鬼，」 「我完全不知道妳在說什麼。」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Cock Hunter Cohare 副兔: Cock Prey Love ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 300 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 7 June 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 三慈宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/p5PjAFAxZjXwkKwu5 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the metro to Beitou Station then take Bus 631 to Pingding Fude Temple (坪頂福德宮), or 15-min taxi pool to the run start 捷運北投站然後搭公車631到坪頂福德宮然後走路到A點，或從北投站搭計程車15分鐘到A點 Note to drivers: limited parking space available at/near run start, but the golf course parking lot nearby is free and always has loads of spaces available: 開車的話, A點旁邊有很少的停車位，但是附近有一個高爾夫球場有停車場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/s8L7jiP6oS4MqFNd9 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Xiaopingding Farm 小坪頂農家菜 https://maps.app.goo.gl/YFen6dq9YoCAhgXi7

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2661 Inquiry

When & Where

June 7, 2026 (2:30 pm) – June 7, 2026 (6:00 pm)

三慈宮 https://maps.app.goo.gl/p5PjAFAxZjXwkKwu5