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T-shit trudged on. He trudged through mud. He trudged through vines. He trudged through bees. He trudged up slippery stone steps covered in moss. Upon his back, he carried a sack of flour similar in size to his own torso. His neck strained under the weight, spread using a leather strap across his forehead. “This is a perfect trail,” said T-shit, “But why won’t anyone be my co-hare?” He swatted away the horseflies drawn to his aromatic shirt. “It’s like people don’t want to hang out with me because I’m constantly covered with human shit.” He stopped to wipe his hands on a nearby plant, which promptly shriveled and died. “How peculiar,” T-shit muttered to himself. He continued. The forest drew quiet around him, except for the gentle thuds of asphyxiated birds falling from the sky, and the quiet retching of macaques in the trees. T-shit 繼續一步一步往前走。 他踩過泥濘、穿過藤蔓、鑽過蜜蜂群，拖著沉重的腳步爬上一階階覆滿青苔、濕滑難行的石梯。背上扛著一大袋麵粉，幾乎跟他的上半身一樣大，重量透過額頭上的皮革背帶壓得他脖子都快斷了。 「這條路根本完美，」T-shit 嘆了口氣，「可為什麼就是沒人願意當我的副兔呢？」 他揮手趕走幾隻被他那件「香氣四溢」的捷兔T 恤吸引來的虻蠅。 「搞得好像大家都不想跟一個全身沾滿人屎的人混在一起似的。」 說完，他停下腳步，順手把雙手往旁邊一株植物上擦了擦。 那株植物立刻枯萎凋零，當場暴斃。 「真奇怪。」T-shit 喃喃自語，又繼續前進。 森林漸漸安靜了下來，只剩下被臭到窒息的鳥兒從天上「咚、咚」掉落地面的聲音，以及樹上獼猴此起彼落的乾嘔聲。 Then up ahead he saw a funfair stall, attached to a horse and cart. A handpainted sign read “Sperm Daddy’s Try Your Luck – 25NTD”. He rounded the corner and found I’ll Jizzinya standing at the counter. Behind her was a large, open mouthed papier mâché clown’s head. On top of the head, nestled among the clown’s rainbow-colored ringlets, was a long transparent balloon with a nipple on top. “Step right up, win a cohare!” called I’ll Jizzinya. “I’ll play,” said T-shit, and he held out a stained hundred dollar note. “How does it work?” “Er… you can play for free this time,” said I’ll Jizzinya, refusing T-shit’s money. “First, take hold of this pink cannon. It’s pump action. You cup one hand under the ammunition tanks down here, and you pump the barrel with your other hand. Aim it at the clown’s mouth. Engorge the clown’s balloon to win a cohare!” 就在前方不遠處，他看到一座嘉年華攤位，裝在一輛馬車上。 手繪招牌寫著：「Sperm Daddy 幸運大挑戰──25 元一次。」 他轉過彎，只見 I’ll Jizzinya 正站在櫃台後方。 她背後擺著一顆張著血盆大口的紙糊小丑頭，而在小丑彩虹色假髮頂端，豎著一根透明長氣球，最上面還做了個奶嘴形狀。 「快來喔！玩遊戲，獎品副兔一位！」I’ll Jizzinya 大聲招呼。 「我玩。」T-shit 掏出一張沾滿污漬的一百元鈔票遞過去。 「規則是什麼？」 「呃……這次免費就好。」I’ll Jizzinya 果斷拒收那張鈔票。 「首先，拿起這把粉紅色的大砲。它是手動抽送式的。一隻手托著下面的彈藥槽，另一隻手前後抽動砲身。瞄準小丑的嘴巴，把上面的氣球灌到爆掉，就能贏得一位副兔！」 T-shit relieved himself of his heavy load and grasped the cannon with two hands. It was heavier and warmer than he expected. He aimed towards the back of the clown’s throat and started pumping a steady stream directly onto its epiglottis. As the balloon inflated with the cannon’s emissions, T-shit noticed the clown’s eyes wince slightly. Was it really just a model? Why did it look so much like Walkie Walkie? “Uuuuuuuuuuugh!” gurgled the clown’s head. “Agggggghhhhhh!” shouted T-shit. “Bang!” went the balloon. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand… you win!” said I’ll Jizzinya, hastily pulling a curtain in front of the clown’s head. “Here’s your prize.” She handed T-shit an action figure in a display box. T-shit put down the cannon and took the box from her: ***NEW! Jizzspeed Action Figurine – He runs! He jizzes! He carries flour like a little bitch!*** “I thought you meant a real cohare!” said T-shit. “Sorry, we’re closed!” said I’ll Jizzinya, closing the shutters. The horse immediately started to pull the stall down the trail, leaving T-shit alone, staring down at his tiny plastic cohare. “Just you and me, I guess, little guy…” T-shit 放下沉重的麵粉袋，雙手握住那門大砲。 它比想像中還重，而且還熱熱的。 他把砲口瞄準小丑喉嚨深處，開始穩定地前後抽送，源源不絕地把「彈藥」直接灌向對方的會厭。 隨著氣球逐漸鼓脹，T-shit 忽然注意到，小丑的眼睛似乎微微抽搐了一下。 它真的只是模型嗎？怎麼看起來這麼像 Walkie Walkie？ 「嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚……」小丑頭含糊地呻吟著。 「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」T-shit 一邊抽送一邊大喊。 就在這時—— 砰！氣球炸開了。 「恭、恭喜中獎！」 I’ll Jizzinya 趕緊把布幕一拉，把整顆小丑頭遮了起來。 「這是你的獎品。」他遞給 T-shit 一個裝在透明展示盒裡的公仔。 T-shit 放下大砲，接過盒子，只見包裝上印著： 「全新上市！Jizzspeed 動作公仔 會跑！會噴！還會像個小苦力一樣幫你背麵粉！」 「我還以為你說的是真的副兔！」T-shit 一臉失望地抗議。 「不好意思，我們打烊了！」I’ll Jizzinya 說完立刻把攤位百葉窗拉下。 拉車的馬也隨即起步，拖著整座攤位沿著馬路緩緩離去，只留下 T-shit 一個人站在原地，低頭看著手中那個小小的塑膠副兔。 「看來……這次就只剩你跟我一起當兔子了，小傢伙。」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: T-Shit Cohare 副兔: Jizzspeed ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 6.8 km + Elevation/爬升: 350 m L: 9.5 km + Elevation/爬升: 500 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 21 June 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Jingnan Temple 竟南宮(仙公廟) https://maps.app.goo.gl/CwHPEBa3gxA2VySP8 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT Nanshijiao Exit 4。 Rent a YouBike and walk about 800 m or take bus 895 then walk 800m 捷運南勢角站4號出口, 然後騎乘U-bike後走路約800 m或搭乘895公車後走路約800 m The Run Start has a parking lot A點有停車場 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBD

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2663 Inquiry

When & Where

June 21, 2026 (2:30 pm) – June 21, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Jingnan Temple 竟南宮(仙公廟) https://maps.app.goo.gl/CwHPEBa3gxA2VySP8