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Important Note: You will need to have NT30 cash in order to access a private section and finish the trail. No coin, no glory, and a long shameful walk back to the start. 重要公告：你必須準備 30 元現金，才能進入私人領域並完成今天的路線。沒零錢，就沒榮耀。還得完成一長段羞恥之路才能回起點。 Praying For Man Tits woke to the unbearable sound of his ringtone. The first thing he noticed was that he was slumped in his armchair, wearing only a sombrero and a gun holster. The second thing he noticed was that everything hurt. RING RING! RING RING! “BLUEGHHHHHH!” He groaned to his feet searched the shameful miscellanea of the previous night. Empty, fag-ended bottles of rum huddled on the coffee table. Cocaine Hippo lay spreadeagle on the rug, dressed as a luchador. A lipsticked labradoodle whimpered behind an upturned cheese plant. Praying For Man Tits 被刺耳的手機鈴聲硬生生吵醒。 他第一個注意到的是—— 自己癱在扶手椅上，身上只穿著一頂墨西哥寬邊帽和槍套。 第二個注意到的是——全身都他媽痛。 鈴鈴鈴！鈴鈴鈴！ 「嗚噁噁噁啊啊啊……」 他呻吟著站起來，開始翻找昨晚留下的羞恥殘局。 咖啡桌上擠滿了喝空、還插著菸屁股的蘭姆酒瓶。 Cocaine Hippo 大字型攤在地毯上，穿著摔角裝。 一隻塗著口紅的拉布拉多犬，躲在翻倒的龜背芋後面發出哀鳴。 RING RING! RING RI… “FUCKFUCKINGFUCKMYFUCKINGHEAD!” He picked up his pants and fumbled the pockets. Man Tits’ Charizard wall clock announced it was 10am. This was good. He had time to sober up before running another arduous Short at Taiwan Hash. His hand grasped his phone. He threw down the pants, mashed the keypad, and put it to his head. “FUCK. WHAT? HELLO?” He smelt his fingers and winced. “Why Hold Out? You’re the Kaohsiung Hash GM, right?” A pause. “Joint run? Between Kaohsiung Hash and Taiwan Hash? Sure. Do I need to do anything? Say no…Uhuh… A flour mule you say?” 鈴鈴鈴！鈴鈴—— 「幹你媽的幹幹幹我的頭啊啊啊！」 他抓起褲子，慌亂翻口袋。 牆上的噴火龍造型時鐘顯示現在是早上十點。 這很好。 代表他還有時間醒酒， 趕去台灣健龍再跑一次艱辛的短路線。 終於摸到手機。 他把褲子一甩，亂按按鍵，直接貼到耳邊。 「幹。啥？喂？」 他聞了聞自己的手指，皺起眉頭。 「Why Hold Out？你是高雄捷兔的會長對吧？」 （停頓） 「聯合跑？高雄捷兔跟台灣健龍？當然可以。 我需要做什麼？最好是不用……嗯哼……你說要一頭麵粉驢？」 He kicked Cocaine Hippo in the ribs until the eyes behind his glittered mask squinted open. “Ey, hipopótamo! Tu es un… burro de… flour! Comprendé?” Man Tits hissed. “No comprendo!” cried the Hippo. He covered his face with his golden cape. “Yeah, yeah he’ll be there. What time?” Man Tits listened. His face fell. “11am??? In Xindian??? Fuck! But other people will do my job for me? I’m in. See you there!” Man Tits hung up and looked back at the clock. “Okay, I guess we’ve got 30 minutes to kill before we leave… Donde es los labradoodle?” 他走過去，對著 Cocaine Hippo 肋骨猛踹幾腳。 面具後的眼睛終於瞇開。 「欸！Hippo！你是一隻……麵粉……驢子！懂嗎？」 Man Tits 壓低聲音嘶吼。 「蛤？什麼意思我不懂！」Hippo 哀號。 用金色披風把臉蓋住。 「對對對，他會去。幾點？」 Man Tits 聽著電話，臉色瞬間垮掉。 「11 點？？？在新店？？？幹！但其他人會幫我做會長的工作？我去。到時見！」 他掛掉電話，轉頭看向時鐘。 「好吧……那我們出門前大概還有 30 分鐘能殺時間……」 「那隻拉布拉多在哪？」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Seldom Cums Cohares 副兔: TTT, Cocaine Hippo ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 6 km + Elevation/爬升: ?? m L: 7.5 km + Elevation/爬升: 400 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 3 May 2026 Time: Hares off at 11:00 兔子十一點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Bitan East Bank Parking Lot 碧潭東岸停車場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/dExteHT3oPexyycL9 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Xindian then walk to the Run Start 捷運新店站然後走路到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBD

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2656 Inquiry

When & Where

May 3, 2026 (11:00 am) – May 3, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Bitan East Bank Parking Lot 碧潭東岸停車場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/dExteHT3oPexyycL9