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The aromas of cabbage and sebum filled the one-room shack as Two Girls One Cup stirred a pair of large vats. One was filled with steaming laundry, the other with watery vegetable soup. Mice scuttled over the corrugated roof. Just Olivia and Ah-Gong’s Favorite argued over whose turn it was to use the family spoon. It was dinnertime in the Cums Once a Year household. 高麗菜與油脂的氣味瀰漫在這間破舊單房小屋裡。 Two Girls One Cup 正攪著兩個大鍋——一鍋是冒著蒸氣的洗衣水， 另一鍋則是稀得可憐的蔬菜湯。 老鼠在鐵皮屋頂上來回竄動。 Just Olivia 和 Ah-Gong’s Favorite 為了誰能用家裡唯一的湯匙吵個不停。 這，就是 Cums Once a Year 一家的晚餐時光。 Cums Once a Year sat on the dusty floor trying to get his 2006 MacBook to send the AIR sarong design to Doppelbänger. “Tell me again how much is that cunt paying you,” said Two Girls One Cup. “Nothing this time, but the exposure will get me a paid gig,” replied Cums Once a Year, jiggling his mouse, “I just know it!” Two Girls One Cup looked at her husband with tired eyes. “You mean we’re gonna be rich cunts soon?” “Yeah, babe. Rich cunts.” “Rich cunts!” shouted Ah-Gong’s Favorite and Just Olivia in unison. The four fell about laughing, and all was well. The rare moment of joy came to a sudden end as three loud thuds landed on the front door. The room fell silent. And again. Thud. Thud. Thud. Cums Once a Year 坐在滿是灰塵的地板上， 努力讓他那台 2006 年的蘋果電腦成功把全島跑的沙龍設計寄給 Doppelbänger。 「再說一次，那個賤人這次付你多少？」Two Girls One Cup 問。 「這次沒錢，但曝光會讓我拿到付費案子，」Cums Once a Year 一邊狂滑滑鼠一邊說， 「我就是知道！」 Two Girls One Cup 疲憊地看著他 「所以我們很快就會變成有錢的賤人？」 「對啊，寶貝。有錢的賤人。」 「有錢的賤人！」 Ah-Gong’s Favorite 和 Just Olivia 同時喊。 四個人笑成一團。 那一刻，一切都還不錯。 但這難得的快樂瞬間—— 被三聲重擊打斷。 砰！砰！砰！ 屋內瞬間安靜。 又來一次。 砰。砰。砰。 Cums Once a Year knew. He got to his feet and pulled on his jacket. He opened the front door, saw the empty doorstep, and the path beyond, stepped outside, closed the door behind him, and walked down the path until he reached the corner. “I gots you a job,” growled a voice from the shadows. Sheman stepped into the light. “I’ll pay you three shiny penny-wennies for this one. I need me someone slim.” Sheman held up the three brown coins. In Cums Once a Year’s mind they conjured images. A cup of rice, a stock cube, maybe an onion! “Where is it this time?” Cums Once a Year asked nervously. Cums Once a Year 心裡有數。 他站起來，穿上外套。 打開門——門外空無一人。 他走出去，關上門，沿著小路走到轉角。 「我有工作給你。」陰影中傳來低沉聲音。 Sheman 走進光線裡。 「這次給你三枚亮晶晶的小銅板。 我要一個瘦的。」 他舉起三枚褐色硬幣。 在 Cums Once a Year 的腦海裡— 一碗白飯、 一塊高湯塊、 也許……一顆洋蔥。 「這次在哪？」他緊張地問。 *** Sheman’s scooter stopped outside a house in Beitou. The place was nondescript, but when Cums Once a Year saw the van in the driveway, he knew whose home it was. Painted on its side were Walkie Walkie and Minor Pusher. “Such a pretty picture,” sneered Sheman, “What do you think, designer?” “They commissioned 69 Me to paint it. After everything I made for the 50th anniversary…” “Then we’re just stealin’ what’s rightfully yours, ain’t that right? You see that little window? You squeeze through, and then open the door for me. Got it?” Cums Once a Year climbed through the window and onto the cold tile floor of a luxurious bathroom. Creeping through the moonlit corridor, he could see the gray shadow of the door ahead of him. At its center, the open letterbox framed the impatient eyes of Sheman. “Pssst! Hurry up, lad!” Cums Once a Year crept closer, but in the darkness he failed to notice a display case of exotic strapons. He knocked it with his shoulder, and they came crashing to the floor all around him. A light came on from a side room. “Who’s knocked over my strapons?” shouted Minor Pusher. “Not me darling!” replied Walkie Walkie, incomprehensibly through his sleepytime ballgag. “Salad! Sunshine! Odin! Seize him!” Cums Once a year bolted for the door, and opened it just in time to see Sheman riding off along with the three pennies. The dogs barked gruffly from behind him. “On on!” he cried, and disappeared into the night. Sheman 的機車停在北投一棟房子外。 看起來平平無奇—— 但當 Cums Once a Year 看到車道上的那台廂型車時，他就知道是誰的家了。 車身側面畫著 Walkie Walkie 和 Minor Pusher。 「畫得真漂亮啊。」Sheman 冷笑。 「設計師，你覺得呢？」 「那是他們找 69 Me 畫的……我為 50 週年做了那麼多東西……」 「那我們現在只是把本來就屬於你的東西拿回來，對吧？」 Sheman 指向一扇小窗。 「從那裡鑽進去，然後幫我開門。懂嗎？」 Cums Once a Year 爬進窗戶，落在冰冷的大理石浴室地板上。 他沿著月光照亮的走廊悄悄前進， 看見前方那扇門的灰色輪廓。 門中央的信箱開口裡， 露出 Sheman 焦躁的眼睛。 「噓！快點，小子！」 他慢慢靠近—— 卻在黑暗中沒注意到一個展示櫃，裡面擺滿奇特的穿戴式假屌。 肩膀一撞——鏘啷！！全部掉落在地。 旁邊房間燈亮了。 「誰把我的穿戴式假屌撞倒了？！」Minor Pusher 大喊。 「不是我啦親愛的！」Walkie Walkie 含著睡覺用口塞，語氣模糊地回應。 「Salad！Sunshine！Odin！抓住他！」 Cums Once a Year 拔腿狂奔—— 衝向門口，打開門—— 只看到 Sheman 已經騎車遠去，連同那三枚銅板一起消失。背後傳來低沉的狗吠聲。 「耶～～～耶～～」他喊了一聲，消失在夜色之中。 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Cums Once a Year Cohare 副兔: Period 安兔: Sheman ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 300 m L: 9.5 km + Elevation/爬升: 350 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 5 April 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Dakeng Tudigong Temple 大坑土地公廟 https://maps.app.goo.gl/8Pi2ML3PbzvjitJT7 ******HOW? / 怎去******* MRT to Muzha then bus 251/660/819 to Wanshunliao then walk to the run start 捷運木柵站然後搭公車251/660/819到萬順寮，然後走到A點 Roadside parking available 開車的話，可以找路邊停 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* Ba Jia Restaurant 八家餐廳 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Jm1Yo8pMBmBXWiRU7

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2652 Inquiry

When & Where

April 5, 2026 (2:30 pm) – April 5, 2026 (6:00 pm)

Dakeng Tudigong Temple 大坑土地公廟 https://maps.app.goo.gl/8Pi2ML3PbzvjitJT7