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Meanwhile in the Windy City, famous Hsinchu hasher and anime-girl illustrator, The Talented Mr. Nipply, was given an important task by Likes it Long and Hard: the Hsinchu Hash GM went rogue and had to be brought back, alive if possible. Without their GM, Hsinchu Hash would be plagued with chaos, incompetence, and bad markings, or at least have more so than usual. Accepting the importance of this mission, Mr. Nipply paused his workout, kissed his Biiryu-chan body pillow wife goodbye, and headed north. To avoid arousing suspicion, he was disguised as his alter ego: the famous Taiwan hasher and anime-girl illustrator, The Talented Mr. Nipply. It’s the same person, but less retarded. 就在台灣風城，知名的新竹捷兔跑者兼少女動漫大師The Talented Mr Nipply接到來自神秘人物Likes it Long and Hard委託的重大任務：新竹捷兔的會長目前全面失聯中，似乎是叛變了，必須馬上把他找回來，如果可以的話要留下活口！因為沒有會長的新竹捷兔，將會陷入比平常更嚴重的混亂、更錯誤的標記、更容易跑錯方向、迷路加摔進水溝的命運。事態不容小覷。這時Mr Nipply正在練胸推，他立刻停下動作接受了這個任務委託，然後親吻了他心愛的老婆，那個身材軟Q、眼神純真的「碧琉醬」人形抱枕，就啟程北上了。為了不被發現，他刻意偽裝，化身為那個捷兔界最聞名最受歡迎的知名少女動漫畫師The Talented Mr Nipply。（好啦其實還是同一個人，只是這個版本比較不智障…..？） It didn’t take long. Following the trail of tater tots and blood, he quickly found the missing Minnesotan by the seashore in Driftwood Park, at the no-man’s land where Taoyuan meets Hsinchu. There, tearing into the carcass of what Mr. Nipply hoped wasn’t a person, was the infamous Hsinchu Hasher and serial killer Shitty Shamebow, aka Fuck My Bussy, aka The Minneapolis Mauler, aka Jeffrey Daimidaler, aka El Toro Negro. “I’m taking you back to Hsinchu,” said Mr. Nipply, “which is honestly not far, you could probably walk.” “I don’t want to go back to those retards,” said a crazed Shitty Shamebow, “I’m going to stay here on the beach forever, or until Taiwan Hash lets me be their next GM.” 沒過多久，Mr Nipply沿著一路遺留下的小馬鈴薯塊及血跡，追蹤到桃園與新竹交界的無人地帶 – 新屋綠色走廊漂流木公園。他終於找到了失蹤的寶寶會長，也就是傳說中的Shitty Shamebow, 同時也是Fuck My Bussy, 或是 The Minneapolis Mauler, 還是 Jeffrey Daimidaler, 也是 El Toro Negro （靠邀兔名怎麼那麼多，就不能好好叫好一個名字嗎？） 他正撕咬著一具……噢，希望不是人的屍體。 Mr Nipply清了清喉嚨說：「我是來帶你回新竹的，這裡距離其實不遠，用走的回去也行。」但Shitty Shamebow瘋癲地吼著：「我才不要回去給那群智障管，我要賴在這邊！風吹海灘、魚吃到飽、路過少年隨我抓！我要一直待在這邊直到台詞健龍捷兔讓我做他們的會長！！！！！！」 “Darn,” thought Mr. Nipply, “how will I get him off the beach?” The water was gorgeous, the ocean provided fish to eat, the beach attracted vagrants and innocent youths to ravage and eat… Shitty Shamebow could stay here forever. Just then, who should come out from the waves but the legendary Hsinchu hasher and Mexican, Dildo Gaggins, piloting a giant mech shaped like a reverse mermaid, with a fish top and human bottom. “I’ve come to collect the bounty on Shitty Shamebow,” said Dildo Gaggins from within the robot, the control stick deep up his butt, “he’s worth several million New Hsinchu Dollars.” Shitty Shamebow got down on all fours and escaped into the forest. Mr. Nipply thought this episode was getting too ridiculous and hoped the live-action remake would be more faithful to the manga. Mr Nipply內心嘆氣：「這下慘了，這傢伙在這邊吃得飽睡得暖，還能嚇壞遊客，他真的可以永遠賴著不走。」正當他苦惱時，海浪間突然出現一台超巨大機器人，造型非常詭異，魚頭魚胸、人腿人屁股，簡直是反向人魚的終極形態！駕駛這台怪機的是從墨西哥來的大名鼎鼎新竹捷兔跑者Dildo Gaggins。機器人裡傳來他激情的聲音：「我是來抓Shitty Shamebow的，他被懸賞了幾百萬新竹竹幣，我今天肯定能領了這筆錢！」只見操控巨大機器人的遙控器深深緊緊地塞在Dildo Gaggins的屁眼裡，他已經跟機器人完美融合幾乎能同步動作了。話音剛落，Shitty Shamebow四肢著地、用一種狂獸姿態迅速竄進旁邊森林裡。Mr Nipply扶額：「這集劇情真的太扯了，我只希望之後拍真人版的時候，可以忠於漫畫一點…….」 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: The Talented Mr. Nipply Cohare 副兔: Shitty Shamebow ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 100 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 31 August 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* Xinwu Green Corridor Driftwood Park 新屋綠色走廊 漂流木公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/PX8uXM4pqGjYJ4Jd8 ******HOW? / 怎去******* TRA to Hukou Station then bus 5611 or taxi or YouBike to run start Or TRA to Fugang then take bus 603 台鐵到湖口站然後公車5611，或計程車，或騎YouBike到A點 後者台鐵到富岡站然後公車603到A點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBD

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2621 Inquiry

When & Where

August 31, 2025 (2:30 pm) – August 31, 2025 (6:00 pm)

Xinwu Green Corridor Driftwood Park 新屋綠色走廊 漂流木公園 https://maps.app.goo.gl/PX8uXM4pqGjYJ4Jd8