Details

You’d think hashers would be used to climbing mountains, but Sweaty Panty and Fucking Sucks were still annoyed. All week they wasted searching for the reclusive hasher 99 Peaks of Beer. The TwH3 committee needed to know where his run would be, but 99 Peaks of Beer had renounced social media along with sobriety and could not be reached, and so someone had to go find him. “Why me?” whined Sweaty Panty after yet another peak turned up empty. “Fuck you!” [Translation: “Don’t complain, we still have 73 peaks to check out!”] said Fucking Sucks. 我們都理所當然覺得所有捷兔跑者都習慣攀登爬山，但其實汗流浹背的Sweaty Panty 跟Fucking Sucks 還是覺得非常煩人。一整個星期，他們都浪費在尋找那個神隱的野兔99 Peaks of Beer。台灣健龍捷兔的委員會需要知道他這週的路線細節，可是這天殺的夭壽99 Peaks of Beer 宣布要戒酒並退出所有的社交軟體，整個大消失，所以需要有人能找到他。「為什麼是我要去找他？」爬上另一個空空如也無影無蹤的山頭後，Sweaty Panty 嘰嘰歪歪著。「乾林涼！」 （翻譯：別抱怨了，我們還剩下73個山頭要找！）Fucking Sucks 答道。 At last they found the rogue hare inside one of his many mountain retreats, sitting in the Drunken Lotus position on a pillow of hops amidst a handful of his devoted followers, the Mead Maidens. “Finally! We’ve been trying to reach you for days!,” huffed Sweaty Panty. “Fuck you?” [Translation: “Why didn’t you check your LINE messages?”] added Fucking Sucks. “Shhh,” said a nun, as 99 Peaks of Beer began to lead the worshippers in a chant: “Om… Camino… Om Om Camino.” Eventually the service ended, and all left except Sweaty Panty, Fucking Sucks, and 99 Peaks of Beer, still meditating. 終於他們在眾多深山修行聖地裡的一處找到了那隻麻煩精野兔。他正以醉蓮花的姿勢坐在啤酒茅草枕頭上，旁邊圍著那寥寥無幾少數的迷妹，那群喝了太多蜂蜜酒的傻丫頭們。「我的天啊，我們已經找你找了好多天了！」Sweaty Panty說。「乾林涼？」（翻譯：你怎麼都不看看你的賴訊息？）Fucking Sucks 附和道。「噓！」其中一位尼姑制止他，然後99 Peaks of Beer就開始了敬拜誦經模式，那是一種詭異像饒舌節奏一樣的靡靡之音，「噢～～～路～～～路線～～～⋯⋯⋯」後來敬拜終於結束，曲終人散，唯獨留下了Sweaty Panty、Fucking Sucks、及 99 Peaks of Beer三人還在禪修。 “You may now ask me three questions,” said the wannabe monk. Sweaty Panty wasted no time: “Where will your run start?” “It is not the A-point, but the journey that matters,” replied 99 Peaks. “Will there be a long and a short?” asked Sweaty Panty. “Seek always to follow the middle way,” said 99 Peaks. “Fuck you?” asked Fucking Sucks. 99 Peaks of Beer pondered long and hard. “Fuck you,” he replied stoically. Fucking Sucks was stunned, then bent low, kissed the hare’s feet, and left without a word. Sweaty Panty followed him, annoyed. “You wasted the third question to ask him ‘what’s the meaning of life?’ Well, what was his answer? I couldn’t quite understand.” Fucking Sucks stayed silent. The answer in the original Fucklish, with its many nuances, multiple possible interpretations, and layers of hidden meaning, just could not be translated. 「現在開放讓你們問我三個問題，」想出家的那個和尚野兔說。Sweaty Panty不願浪費一分一秒：「請問你的起跑點在哪？」 「重點不在起點跟終點，而是這整個跑程的含義，」99 Peaks 意味深長說道。「會有長路線跟短路線嗎？」Sweaty Panty接著問下去。「總是會有可以解決的中庸之道。」99 Peaks緩緩回答。「乾林涼？」Fucking Sucks問道。99 Peaks of Beer 貌似用盡全力深思了一世紀，「乾林涼。」 終於他泰然且堅忍不拔地回答了。Fucking Sucks 驚呆了，然後他彎下腰，親吻了野兔的腳，不發一語地離開。Sweaty Panty 跟著他，看起來挺惱怒的。「靠邀你這兔崽子，你為什麼浪費了第三個問題來問他生命的意義是什麼？算了，那他到底回答了瞎咪？我都沒聽懂啊！」 Fucking Sucks 仍然沈默，在乾林涼的語言裡，這個回答包含了許多細微差別、多種可能的解釋和層層隱藏的含義，除了這幾個夭壽的乾林們之外無法翻譯。 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: 99 Peaks of Beer Cohare 副兔: Wego Shooter ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 350 m L: 9km + Elevation/爬升: 450 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 22 June 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 海拔520 佳和園 野生愛玉 https://maps.app.goo.gl/15LWawFgzNxSMdB57 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Metro to Jiantan Station then Bus S19 捷運劍潭站然後公車小19 Parking available 有車位 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBD

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2611 Inquiry

When & Where

June 22, 2025 (2:30 pm) – June 22, 2025 (6:00 pm)

海拔520 佳和園 野生愛玉 https://maps.app.goo.gl/15LWawFgzNxSMdB57