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Toasted Taint was lying in bed, smiling in anticipation. “I’m ready! Close your eyes,” said FIAT. Her co-hare obeyed, and she entered the bedroom, dressed in a Star Trek uniform. “May the force be with you, Frodo” she said. “Huh?” said Toasted Taint, confused, “which character are you supposed to be?” “I’m Captain Dumbledore, from Battlestar Mandalorian,” wronged FIAT wrongly. Toasted Taint’s erection vanished. “That’s terrible. Honey, if you can’t get this right, then how will we be able to do the Star Wars-themed ‘May the 4th’ run I wanted?” he nerded nerdily. “Sorry,” apologized FIAT, “I just keep getting all your nerd shit confused. Can’t I just cook for you? I have an eggplant parmesan in the oven.” Toasted Taint’s erection returned with a vengeance, but he ignored it. “At least don’t confuse Star Trek and Star Wars. How would you react if I confused, for example, penne all’aglio with pizza all’ananas? …Honey?” Toasted Taint躺在床上，充滿期待微笑著。 「我準備好了！ 你快閉上眼睛吧，」FIAT要求道，她的副兔喜滋滋馬上照做。這裡，她穿著《星際爭霸戰》的角色扮演制服走進了臥室。 「願原力與你同在，持戒人佛羅多」她說。 「蛤？」 Toasted Taint困惑地說：「妳在扮演哪個角色人物？」 「我是鄧不利多艦長，來自《星際大爭霸》裡的那個《曼達洛人之戰》，」FIAT理直氣壯說著，錯到一個不能再錯的離譜。 Toasted Taint無奈地笑笑，剛剛興奮期待的勃起已經全都軟了。 「親愛的，這真是有點糟糕。如果妳沒有辦法把這些角色跟影片分清楚，那我們怎麼在五月四號星際大戰日裡做以《願原力與你同在》為主題的路線呢？」這個宅男癡漢呆呆地說著。「真是抱歉，」FIAT沮喪，「我盡力惹！你那一大堆星球大戰還有魔戒哈利波特真的是把我弄得糊裡糊塗。我還是好好專心幫你做飯吧！烤箱裡我正在弄焗烤千層茄子。」Toasted Taint 剛剛軟下的弟弟又忽然熊熊地給他翹起來，但他試著忽略認真解釋。「至少不要混淆《星際爭霸戰》和《星際大戰》。 就像如果我一直搞不清楚所有義大利麵的種類，是筆管麵、斜管麵、寬帶麵、還是螺旋麵，來自義大利的妳心裡也一定不好受吧，寶貝？」 While Toasted Taint recovered in the hospital, FIAT calmed her nerves by taking her bitch Asspresso for an easily accessible run at a popular spot up near Jiannan station. At the top of a hill she found the GM, 70% Gay, taking her bitch Tiny Balls for a run. “I wish you’d put me in more hash trash-er,” said the GM. Wait, are you talking to me? “You can make me anything-er. I’m your IP. I’m your barbie girl. You can brush my hair, et cetera-er.” I already established your character. You are a secret communist with a Beijing accent. “I can be anything you want-er. Sexy communist, slutty communist, seductive communist…,” commied the commie. Fine, I’ll give WWTTBBWW’s sore anus a break and put you in more hash trash stories. Now stop breaking the fourth wall! “Thanks,” said the GM, “and may the force be with you!” 就當Toasted Taint還在住院復健時，FIAT決定帶著她的婊子Asspresso在劍南路站附近的山林裡跑步散心忘記她的副兔的無禮，這是一個蠻熱門、交通又方便到達的地方。在山頂上，她遇到了我們的會長70% Gay，也帶著她的婊子Tiny Balls在跑步。「我真的很希望你可以在每週日的路線故事裡頭ㄦ多多提到我呀！」修但幾勒，妳是在跟我說話嗎？「我願意也會享受你把我寫成任何人ㄦ事物，怎樣我都可以接受。我給你全部的肖像權。我可以做你的芭比娃娃，你要幫我梳頭就梳頭，幹什麼ㄦ都可以的！」但是我已經把妳寫進去了呀！妳的角色就是有著北京腔、上海派來的、充滿共產主義思想的秘密間諜。「我可以做任何你要我做的角色ㄦ。性感的中共間諜、淫蕩的中共間諜、或是誘人的中共間諜…」 這個大陸人繼續很大陸化地說著。好啦好啦，我會給另一個會長WWTTBBWW的痠痛菊花眼幾個禮拜休息時間然後給妳多一點版面。現在回到正題吧！原力萬歲。「謝謝！」會長開心說著並回答「願原力與你同在。」 Then 70% Gay and FIAT leashed their pets up to a distant tree and started passionately making out in their wet T-shirts. While the girls oiled up a lightsaber vibrator, Tiny Balls struggled against his tight collar, and Asspresso urinated on his leg. “I wish you’d put me in less hash trash,” cucked the cuck cuckedly. 然後，70% Gay和FIAT就把她們的婊子狗拴在遠處的樹邊，兩個人穿著被汗水浸成溼漉漉的T恤開始瘋狂地喇吉親熱。 女孩們正給光劍牌按摩器塗上潤滑油，遠方Tiny Balls被緊緊的項圈困住，Asspresso順便在他的腿上拉尿。 「噢，我其實希望你給我的版面不要那麼硬那麼狂那麼難」綠雷轟頂的綠帽蛋蛋綠綠地說道。 Credits Banner: CSO and Limp of Shame Story: Praying for Man Tits Translation: Minor Pusher ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: FIAT Cohare 副兔: Toasted Taint ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:B run / 路線：A to B TBD km + Elevation/ 爬升: TBD m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 4 May 2025 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* A: Jiannan MRT 捷運劍南路站 https://maps.app.goo.gl/uEGVh2wP1rsemDjSA B: Find out during the run 跑步的時候查出 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Jiannan MRT 捷運劍南路站 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* TBD

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2604 Inquiry

When & Where

May 4, 2025 (2:30 pm) – May 4, 2025 (6:00 pm)

A: Jingye Park 捷運劍南路站 https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZjzXtMtq4bjgMc5aA?g_st=com.google.maps.preview.copy B: Find out during the run 跑步的時候查出