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TwH³ #2679 – The Cock Less Monster Taipei Metro Hash guest hares Just Hsing-hsiang and Just Chih-ta are taking a break from trespassing on city property and getting banned from restaurants in order to lead us through the trails of southern Xizhi. They promise a mysterious lake if you take the challenging 11km long. But what lurks at the bottom? Find out below! ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Just Hsing-hsiang Cohare 副兔: Just Chih-ta ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 6 km + Elevation/爬升: 300 m L: 11 km + Elevation/爬升: 500 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 11 Oct 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:00 兔子兩點起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 白雲里 籃球場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/uZF9ncSgP2Ap18M78 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take a TRA train to Xizhi then walk 1.2km or ride a youbike to a station nearby 搭車到汐科站後，步行1.2K，或是騎乘YOUBIKE到附近還車點 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 金旺海鮮熱炒（金大豐） https://maps.app.goo.gl/1btmHQVJnt5cpXm27 *******HASH TRASH******* As the hounds gathered at the A-point, the usual raucous conversations grew hushed and nervous. Southern Xizhi was the legendary home of the Cock Less Monster. Said to dwell within a lake as yet undiscovered by hashers, the vile beast was impaled with a precious jewel. The hasher bold and strong enough to pluck it out from the monster’s flesh would be elected next year’s Trailmaster. Although the crowd was tense, a few slightly sober hounds noticed a narrow-gauge train track running directly through the meeting spot. It looked like it had been laid the day before. “Choo choo! All aboard the Short Trail Express!” The hashers turned to see a miniature train, of the sort you’d find in a zoo, approaching at a steady 2.5 kilometers per hour. It was decorated with fibreglass beer bottles and hornets, and played MIDI versions of old hash songs from the speakers on each carriage. At the wheel was Constipation. Behind her, Period reclined wrapped in bandages, Formosan Dildo was passed out from low blood sugar and excess razorwire, and Just Dan had his immobilized knee elevated for all to see. “Due to the long nature of today’s long,” began Constipation, “Walkers are invited to hop aboard, and experience today’s trail from the comfort of the train.” “Will we see the lake?” asked Slobbo Tamer. “Only the lake of friendship and good times!” With that, the short runners crammed into the narrow plastic seats, and the little train that could puffed and whistled its way into the jungle. Left behind were the hardened athletes, their noses encrusted with creatine, their Garmins beeping with anticipation of the monster hunt. And also Arthur You Fag. They took off, and made light work of the Taipei Metro Hashers’ trail. T-shit arrived first at the side of the lake. He pulled out a pair of binoculars and scanned the water’s surface for any sign of the Cock Less Monster. Sure enough, at the far side, Just Hsing-hsiang and Just Chih-ta were hunched over a white, freckled mound, tugging furiously. “On on!” he shouted. The pack of raceists circumnavigated the lake, shoulder barging each other, hungry for the chance to be next year’s Trailmaster. Maple Semen dreamed of 30km runs; Cums Once A Year pictured weekly swamp crossings; T-shit envisioned endless, sunbaked uphills. They arrived and saw the Cock Less Monster was much smaller and more ginger than expected. The hares had successfully trussed it up into a prostrate ball. Just Hsing-hsiang was pulling hard on a bejeweled buttplug that was somehow lodged inside the creature’s perineum, but it wasn’t yielding. The raceists took turns to pull hard on the plug and claim the title of Trailmaster, but no matter how much they strained, it would not budge. Suddenly, an enormous crash erupted from behind them. They turned and watched in horror as the Short Trail Express tumbled out of the brush, sending the short runners flying in every direction. Period cut his arm on a piece of metal, Formosan Dildo almost woke up, and Constipation flew over the Cock Less Monster, her finger slipping directly into the ring at the top of the buttplug. The butt plug slipped out as if it were smeared in butter. A prismatic beam of light shone out from the monster’s perineum and onto Constipation who now sat upright in the muddy shallows of the lake, with the buttplug on her finger. “She is chosen!” shouted all the hashers. “Next year’s Trailmaster!” Amidst the furore, Xiaojiji turned back to the Cock Less Monster. “Wait a minute,” he said. “I’d recognize that perineum anywhere – it’s Tiny Balls!” “And I would’ve got away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you pesky raceists.” Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming *******Upcoming/接下來 ******* 10/17&18 Down Island!!! 10/25 #2681 Juicy Kiwi/No No No No No ???? 11/01 #2682 Village Idiot/Hairless Hero Sanmin 三民 *******Dick Check******* Although we want you to have fun on the party bus and other hash events, remember that you being drunk isn’t an invitation to grope, harass someone or generally be a dick. Any inappropriate behavior will be met with an immediate 1 year ban from all Taiwan Hash events regardless of your gender and sexual orientation. We’re here to have fun and that’s it! Just remember, think about your mother before you act, that should get rid of your horn. *給全部跑友的提醒* 我們希望大家都在聚會和派對上玩得開心，但請注意，就算喝醉也不代表你可以隨意去摸 來摸去、騷擾別人或是變成一個混蛋。當我們發現有任何不適當的行為發生，不論你的性別或性向是如何，我們 將馬上禁止你一年內不得再來TwH³聚會或派對! 請記住，我們來TwH³開心的，請大家三思而後行! *******Disclaimer******* 1- First time runners! Bring a change, a set of clean clothes and shoes. Trail might be muddy, crossing rivers may happen, and hares are responsible if it is raining (blame them during the down-downs). 2- Hashers bringing first time runners, please, be in charge to babysit them along the trail. 3- It is recommended to 1st Time runners to bring their cell phone on the trail. 4- This is a running event, it may include trails, climbing, snakes … runners are informed they are RESPONSIBLE for their OWN safety. Late Walkers/Runners will be rescued if missing at the finish line… 5- Eat before joining to avoid low blood sugar. 6- This event includes alcoholic beverages, please be responsible and don’t drive. 1- 第一次來參加的兔友們，請攜帶更換的衣服及鞋子。路線可能會泥濘，也有可能會穿越 一些河。如果下雨的 話，就怪兔子吧(你可以在down down時唸他們一下)!! 2- 帶第一次來跑的兔友們，請自行負責照顧你的朋友! 3- 我們建議第一次來跑的朋友們，帶著你的手機一起跑，以備不時之需 4- 這是一個跑山的活動，這代表會有未開發的小徑、攀岩、蛇等等，參加者自行對自身安全負責。遲到或是走比 較慢的兔友，我們如果發現你沒回到終點，我們會去找你 5- 參加此活動前，請確保你來之前吃些東西，避免低血糖血壓狀況發生 6- 這是一個提供酒精飲料的活動，喝酒不開車，開車不喝酒 *****【Give up the legal right of prosecution if accident, injury and death】***** Attending this group’s activities are based on personal will. Participants are responsible for their own health condition, safety, and insurance. This announcement is against the legal right of prosecution if any attendant or group members has any form of accident, injury or death that occurred on all group activities.

Book Now

mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2670 Inquiry

When & Where

October 11, 2026 (2:00 pm) – October 11, 2026 (6:00 pm)

白雲里 籃球場 https://maps.app.goo.gl/uZF9ncSgP2Ap18M78