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TwH³ #2651 – Bad Command指令錯亂 A burst of lightning flashed shadows over the laboratory floor. Hard Disk and Hard Drive stood on either side of the operating table, dressed in heavy leather aprons and nothing else. A second lightning bolt crashed, illuminating their exposed buttocks and pasty thighs. As assemblage of futuristic components lay on the table, and among them, a half-burned simulacrum of a human face—Garmin Exterminator. “He appears to have lost vital components in the explosion,” muttered Hard Drive, “I cannot locate a single vacuum tube. I put a punchcard in his rear port, but got no response. Did we establish a programming language?” “Judging from his dress sense, I would guess Basic,” replied Hard Disk. “Let’s patch him together with what we have, and put him to use.” 一道閃電劃破天際，把實驗室地板上的影子拉得扭曲變形。 Hard Disk 和 Hard Drive 分別站在手術台兩側，身上只穿著厚重的皮圍裙——除此之外，什麼都沒有。 第二道閃電轟然落下，照亮了他們裸露的屁股和蒼白的大腿。 手術台上散落著一堆未來科技零件， 其中還有一張半燒毀的人臉仿製體——Garmin Terminator。 「看起來他在爆炸中失去了關鍵零件。」Hard Drive 低聲說， 「我連一個真空管都找不到。我試著從後端插入打孔卡，但完全沒有反應。我們有確定他的程式語言嗎？」 「看他的穿搭，我猜是初學者的那個。」Hard Disk 回答。 「先用手邊的東西把他拼回來，再看看能不能用。」 Watched over by a framed portrait of Alan Turing, the two geriatrics welded, clamped, and screwed the helpless cybertwink back into human form. Stitched pieces of latex baking sheet covered up most of the burn damage across Garmin Terminator’s excellent cheekbones. With a final flourish, Hard Drive inserted his 3.5 inch floppy, and Garmin Terminator jolted back into existence. He looked up at his new masters with glassy eyes. “Access memory drive,” commanded Hard Disk. “File not found,” came Garmin Terminator’s monotone reply. “Excellent!” cackled Hard Drive. “Would you like to setup your preferences?” asked Garmin Terminator. “Actually, we’d like to setup your preferences, my dear.” 在牆上 艾倫圖靈的肖像注視下， 這兩個老骨灰開始焊接、夾緊、鎖螺絲—— 把這個無助的虛擬空靈男拼回「人形」。 一片片乳膠烘焙紙被縫在他臉上，遮住大部分燒傷，但還是隱約看得出他原本優秀的顴骨。 最後，Hard Drive 儀式感滿滿地——插入了一片 3.5 吋磁碟片。 Garmin Terminator 突然抽動了一下，重新啟動。 他用空洞的眼神看向兩位新主人。 「存取記憶裝置。」Hard Disk 命令。 「找不到檔案。」Garmin Terminator 單調回應。 「太棒了！」Hard Drive 狂笑。 「要設定您的偏好嗎？」Garmin Terminator 問。 「不，我們要設定你的偏好，親愛的。」 Behind the laboratory door, dusty groans mingled with the sound of grinding metal. The lightning continued, each bolt flashing a glimpse of man and metal in unspeakable combinations. By morning, the storm had cleared. Garmin Terminator crouched meekly on the floor, holding a bag of flour. Hard Disk stood over him in Taipei Hash running gear. “Access memory drive, Garmin Terminator!” “Memory accessed. My purpose is flour bitch.” “This is perfect, Hard Drive. Now we can send this young robot out on our trail. We won’t have any need to premark!” That word… ‘Premark’ It resonated somehow, deep in Garmin Terminator’s circuits. ‘Premark’ Pixelated thumbnails of he and Just Rolla 500 laying flour for Taiwan Hash on a Saturday… ‘Premark’ Deleted memories of getting shit at Down Downs… A single tear rolled down the sutures on his cheek, much to Hard Disk’s surprise. “Are you crying? I didnt program you to…” BOOM! Garmin Terminator launched himself vertically, through the ceiling above, leaving Hard Drive and Hard Disk staring up through the hole. “Well, at least the A-point is close to the senior citizen center,” said Hard Drive. “It’ll be a short walk home.” 實驗室門後傳來灰塵飛揚的呻吟聲， 夾雜著金屬摩擦聲。 閃電持續劈落——每一次都照亮人與機械混雜的詭異畫面。 到了早晨，風暴散去。 Garmin Terminator 蹲在地上，乖巧地抱著一袋麵粉。 Hard Disk 穿著台北捷兔跑步服裝站在他面前。 「存取記憶，Garmin Terminator！」 「記憶已讀取。我的任務是：麵粉寶貝。」 「完美啊，Hard Drive。」 「現在我們可以直接派這台年輕機器人去灑麵粉，根本不需要預撒！」 那個詞——預撒 在 Garmin Terminator 的電路深處產生共鳴。 預撒 畫面閃過—— 他和 JustRolla 500，在某個星期六為台灣健龍撒麵粉…… 預撒 還有噹噹被罵爆的記憶… 一滴眼淚，順著臉上的縫線滑下來。 Hard Disk 一臉震驚。 「你在哭？我沒有寫這個功能——」 蹦！！ Garmin Terminator 瞬間垂直衝天—— 直接撞破天花板飛了出去。 留下 Hard Drive 和 Hard Disk 仰頭看著破洞發呆。 「至少起點就在老人中心附近。」Hard Drive 說。 「走回家應該很快。」 Credits Banner: Homo Hobo Story: Hairless Hero Translation: Second Cumming ******WHO? / 誰?****** Hare 主兔: Hard Disk Cohare 副兔: Hard Drive ******WHAT? / 蝦咪******* A:A run / 路線：A to A S: 7 km + Elevation/爬升: 300 m L: 8 km + Elevation/爬升: 400 m *******WHEN / 啥時******* Date: Sunday, 29 March 2026 Time: Hares off at 14:30 兔子兩點半起跑 *******WHERE / 哪兒******* 土城區埤塘里活動中心 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Noh8homCinC9JxP99 ******HOW? / 怎去******* Take the MRT to Yongning exit 3 捷運永寧站出口3號 Drivers look for roadside parking or parking near the Yongning station 開車的話，可以找路邊停，或是停在永寧站附近 *******PRICE******* Men $250 Women $200 *******BASH / 晚餐******* 土城江八點熱炒 https://maps.app.goo.gl/HiJAVgyiDmmcRbwQ9

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mailto:taiwanhashhouseharriers@gmail.com?subject=TwH3 #2651 Inquiry

When & Where

March 29, 2026 (2:30 pm) – March 29, 2026 (6:00 pm)

土城區埤塘里活動中心 https://maps.app.goo.gl/Noh8homCinC9JxP99